No update we both agreed to do it tonite. Will update.

Well she is here and I'm doing pretty good so far. She left in her car to do somethings get some groceries for dinner. I'm contemplating on making a move on her. Like affectionate touching and stuff. She made it a point to say she is on her period. Should I try at least.

La-de-da-da-da

Point taken.

Bust-a-move. See what happens.
You can always keep things in the northern hemisphere.

Or it can be kept clean.......ie the shower.

Catching up on this thread: the letters are a good idea, klove.

The day before she gave me some speech about forgiveness and was crying that she prays to God that I can forgive her. I said I can't forgive what I don't know so she should come clean. I also said God will forgive you if you stop your sin but while you still sin its irrevlant to ask for forgiveness. She got mad and it was a dead issue. Well last night was an eventful day. WW stayed the night at my request. We talked alot, I gave her a nice massage (DS helped as well). We talked about little things and not the relationship. She was pretty much eyeing DS and I daily routine. She was impressed and she showed it without wanting to. I cooked a simple but awesome dinner that wowed her. I never cooked in the past one of gripes.

We watched DS play video games, POSOM called her I felt my blood pressure boiled but practiced the anger management techniques I learned. She was short with him, from the conversation he wanted to know where she was and why she hasn't called him all day and was ignoring his calls. She lied an said she was with DS in his room when she was infact in our marital bed with me hugging all over her. I made sure I was loud so he knew I was there. She quickly said I love you to him (I felt instant nausea) and hung up.

Later, we watched a movie and she fell asleep some in the marital bed. Woke up and realized where she was and went downstairs to the living room to sleep in a separate bed. DS then reminded me we didn't say our prayers so we asked WW to pray with us. We said the usual but at the part where we prayed for mommy DS said we don't need to pray for mommy she is free from POSOM. We need to pray for SS. Score one for my little guy. She cried and hugged him and I hugged them both was a nice moment really sent it home for her, ya know.

I gave her a loving embrace and asked if anyone was hurting her. She said no "he" isn't hurting me. I said not just him anyone and she promise to call me if someone does. Something to the effect I will be the first person she calls. I gave her a kiss on the lips and forehead and She denied sleeping in the marital bed, while I did this I slipped the VAR under the couch. Surprisingly she didn't talk to POSOM at all.We woke up and took DS to school and she got ready for court. Court went well minus the physical pain I wanted to inflict on her a@@hole lawyer. She wanted to take DS with her for a couple of weeks. I said no she will not have my son around POSOM. He claimed why not? I said ask your client, Sir. He got angry and said I was punishing her because she doesn't want to be with me. I said thats not it this POSOM isn't a good person and I don't want him around my son. My lawyer said its a dead issue and the guy wouldn't let up.

He said its nothing wrong with her having a boyfriend then backtracked and said a male friend LOL. I said yes she is still married and its immoral and I'm done with that topic. So as it stands we have another court date but DS IS WITH ME! I am so happy and I think I handled it well. She on the way back to POSOM, I think the ignoring of calls and the short comments set a fire in affairland. I sent an email after court wishing her for a safe trip and thanking her for the time we spent together.

So as of right now I am sending her a Mother's Day card made by DS and me for Mother's day. I also sent SS a gift and a letter today. Told myself I will write everyday and send a small gift like a book or something once a week. Thoughts? Advice?! Heading to the park with DS now and thank you all who follow my thread and leave advice. I do take it to heart and God bless, oh if your reading this and your NEW, FOLLOW THE ADVICE!

You did well, TD.

Well done, TD. Your kindness to your WW was excellent (many LB deposits I think), and you handed her POS lawyer well too. What a buffoon.

Personally, I would have lost it has she said I love you to the OM in my presence. That would have been her ticket out the door. But you are a better Plan A'er than I was.

She is still in the fog, but I am detecting some sunlight getting through.

Keep up the good work.

She called and talked to DS. He put her on speaker phone lol. My little guy is the man! She told him she made it to where she lives. He asked if she wanted to talk to daddy. She stuttered and acted mad and said no. Was classic! Then DS hung up.

Your son is one smart little dude! I agree that you have deposited many love units. Seems you are back in the game. There is definitely trouble in affair land. I would stir the pot even more by exposing to POSOM how much you enjoyed cuddling with your wife in bed!

Yes TD! You did well!

I'm not wanting to sound critical here, because it sounds like you did excellent - but I'm working from memory here:

1) Her talking about forgiveness; this would have been a good moment to remark about "the open door" to return to the marriage.

"If you would end your affair and come home to recover this marriage, I would be willing to forgive you."

She will put the bit about God's forgiveness on you, and it appears to be lecturing. Avoid that next time, and stick to a return to the marriage, then drop it.

2) Her sitting in the marital home on the phone with her affair partner? Stick application; ask her to go outside if she is going to talk to POSOM, and let her know you will not tolerate her talking to him while in your marital home.


Food for thought.

HHH your right. That was a good suggestion. After I told her about sinning I realized it, won't be doing that again. Your also dead on about talking to POSOM. Thanks for the reminders!

I also could of called her more while she was here. I don't like talking on the phone its one of my idiosyncrasies. She doesn't answer my calls normally. I'm going to let her breath and focus on myself and DS now. I did enough affair busting time to sit back and watch the mayhem. BP how are you doing thanks for your input. Hope all is well on your end.

Hey TD. I'm okay thanks for asking. I'm out of plan B still, but all signs are that WH is not recovery ready. Kids' birthdays are coming up next week. We are having a Dora themed birthday party next Saturday Hope you have lots of fun planned for you and DS. You always seem to anyways

Oh I don't know how I forgot to add this but while WW was here she kept saying she wanted DS and I to go on to a vacation as family with her and SS. After the divorce was final LOL. She even suggested going to FL (POSOM lives there). I gently and firmly reminded her after divorce we will not be friends and told her we can go to California because the state of FL is dead to me. Also, told her the immense pain brought on me because of her affair. That's when she went into her forgiveness talk. So if your reading this the vets ring true I don't know about WH but WWs feel like you can be friends. My main mission in life is to destroy that fantasy and follow through with it. She wants POSOM and me, she enjoys the cake eating when the divorce is final Plan B.

And one last time.....

I gently and firmly reminded her after divorce we will not be friends...

And her warped sense of entitlement (with marital history in support) gently and firmly told her you are wrong.

WWs feel like you can be friends...She wants POSOM and me

See?

IF you are going to be able to prove to her what you tell us ("when the divorce is final, Plan B"), you will already be divorced, which will be too late for DS to have a complete family, and SS to ever again have a brother.

GO TO PLAN B NOW!!!! GIVE HER A TASTE OF LIFE WITHOUT TD!

NG, your right. I'm plan B ready now. Should be easy as she is another state. I have an IM she doesn't call as it is. Any template for a plan b letter? Is email an ok mode of transmission?