Okay - does anyone have this problem of starting to scrutinize, not trust, question, (basically start to obsess) around the time of the month of their menstrual period?<P>I went through husband's wallet this morning. Now I want to ask him about his lunches - it shows on his expense account he's been buying 2 lunches at lunch time....<P>His boss called me yesterday at 4, wondered if hubby was home....... Called boss at 4:55, and he said he found him (boss and co-workers know to be very careful what they say to me because of my suspicions - hubby confides in co-workers)<P>Last month it was me lovebusting for the first 5 hours into our vacation and he tried to leave me on a deserted industrial section of Bismark ND - causing us a 2 hour delay....<P>He said he wants me to see a psychiatrist...<P>I know I'm not crazy. I know he hasn't told me the truth.... And I'm doing the best plan A I can. But around this time of the month I am sooooo suspicious. Is this normal?<BR>

TNT<BR>I seem to lose a big part of my reasoning for a week beforehand. PMS has been a big problem for me since the miscarriage.<BR>I take vitamin B6 and it seems to help a lot. I wasn't taking it for about a month and I suffered for it.<BR>There are times duing PMS that I would voluntarily go to the psych ward. Seriously!!! I've even suggested it.

tnt -- Being a male, I really can't give you an answer on this. I am beginning to think that men really do get PMS as well. Just look at the posts from my W and I today.<P>Well, just wanted to say hang in there.<P>God Bless

Hi TNT,<P>I don't know about normal, but it happens with me every month. It gets so bad during PMS, that I'm always threatening to leave over something that I THINK happened. It's always something from the past, but my imagination kicks into overdrive. Trust me, you're not alone. I just wish it would stop! Things will be good or great for a few weeks, then WHAM!!! It's driving my H batty, and it confuses him terribly. Because of these episodes, he can't figure out if I want to work on our marriage or not. I will bring up some of the most absurd accusations, and I don't see it until I wake up one day and it's like it never happened. It's so frustrating!<P>To think that no matter how far we get in our relationship, that I'm always going to lose that trust for a week or so a month, scares me. I wonder if I'll ever be able to get over the past. He's not doing anything now to arouse my suspicions, but trust me when I say that during that time I can find something and throw it out of proportion. It definitely never ceases to amaze my H with what I can come up with. <P>I'm already on anti-depressants, and I don't want to speak to my doctor in fear that he'll put me on something new. I really love the meds that I'm on, but I think maybe a change or an addition may be in order. Speak to your physician and see if he/she can help you. It never hurts to ask. Besides, you'll be taking steps backward every month, no matter how far you went preceding it. Not a pretty thought.<P>------------------<BR>The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.<BR>Helen Keller

Ws,<P>Some months it is a week before, and other months it is during.... So - I'm usually caught off guard, and trying to "behave" myself during, but the week before months are worse. If I pull something like last month - he'll probably leave. I do believe he contributes through "omission" and angry outbursts - and with me questioning it is a major lovebuster. <P>I'm sure you remember my posts last months in which I found out he has been lying about going to hooters and secretary telling me for the roast on his 40th? I tried my best, but the vacation thing and no place to hide during the drive left me uncontrollable to question him. I feel more in control this month, maybe because he's at work and I'm not around him?<P>I hate pills, but I guess I should take B6 or something. I am more concerned about next month than this! If he would just be honest and not secretive!<P>Empty Shell - If men get PMS - my husband must be some other gender! I can't figure him out for the life of me! I read your posts. I know you and your wife are well into the commitment of recovery, and it is only a matter of time for you! Be patient!<P>Distrusting - Boy can I relate to you. Especially about the concerns you have about the fears! Let me know what the doctor says for you. I don't think anti-depressants can help me, I tried Wellbutrin when I tried to quit smoking in January. It did nothing for me. I think sometimes I should be out of town once a month!<P>***<BR>Thanks for the replies. I have logical explanations for my suspicions - but not emotional explanations!!!!! With the stress in our family right now, it's a little scarey, also...

TnT<P>Must be a woman thing During PMS I really go off on wild tangents and don't even realize it until I get my period! Most of the time I don't verbalize it so at least I'm not totally driving h nuts too. Things I've heard help PMS are 1000 mg of calcium a day, the B vitamins, and no NutraSweet. I'm doing the no NutraSweet thing and it does help. I've also found that if I keep track of when this is going to hit it helps alot -- not with the questioning but at least I realize why all of a sudden I'm acting that way. Hang in there!

TNT<BR>Try the B6 for a month. It is a vitamin and good for you. It really does make a diference for me.

TNT<BR>I am usually OK, but little things I could normally let slide can act like a trigger and I'm off to the races.<P>Like today, when I was leaving for work, H was grumpy and asked when I was going to get to the laundry. (He had plenty of clean clothes, so he was looking for an issue because I think he is a little stressed about home projects and a job change coming up...so it was a little bizarre of him to obsess about)<BR>I started crying and asking him if he found someone new!<P>And I only cried a couple times in front of him since the entire affair thing. So I know I way over reacted, although he really wasn't being very nice. He did comfort me though I know he thought I was a little nuts.<P>But more importantly TNT...your H tried to desert you on vacation?<P>And I think you have grounds to be suspicious, especially when your H is so evasive. <P>TNT, you've had a hard month, haven't you?<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

hi tnt, go to the health food store or vit section in your grocery and get the pms formula that is sold. It has vit b, e, calcium, and probably valerian root. I have taken it many yrs and it is great-I just buy the cheapest brand too. I rarely get pms, though I have it today. Mega-b over this way. In fact I will stay at work late just so I will not peeve all at home this eve! I also increase exercise during this time.<BR>I think this is the first time I heard you mention the bismarck incident of your vacation. Huh??