I have been married for 27 years. Their was an affair early on in marriage with my husbands work friend. After months of denial, he admitted it and cut it off immediately. We counseled together and began new. A few years ago I again began to notice the symptoms of an affair and could quickly see it was another work related affair, lots of circumstantial evidence but not actual proof. I absolutely know that he has even snuck his affair partner into our home while I am away. There is complete and total denial on his part. How should a wife survive this type of affair? What do you suggest here?=

Change the genders in this recipe, my friend, and apply it rigorously.

Here is your game plan. Most betrayed husbands haven't the courage to follow it fully,
to their own discomfiture. Those that do have remarkably better results than the rest.

NEVERGUESSED'S BETRAYED HUSBAND SURVIVAL KIT

1- KEEP ALL THESE ARRANGEMENTS SECRET FROM YOUR WAYWARD WIFE!
2 � Put a keylogger on any computer you can access that she might use.
3 � Put a spy program on any cell that she might use. ("Eblaster" can cover #4 as well.)
4 � Put a GPS on her car, reporting to your computer.
5 � Put a VAR in her car, and in any room she might use to take "personal" calls
6 � Get a mini-audio-recorder, and have it in your possession and "on" whenever in her presence.
7 � Put together an e-address list of anyone who might have influence on her � parents, siblings (sisters, especially), coworkers, college friends, clergy, hairdresser, anyone.
8 � Put together a similar list for the POSOM.
WHEN YOU HAVE SUFFICIENT EVIDENCE,
9 � Put together the electronic evidence for each AP.
10 - Write a cover note for your wife's contacts, to the tune of: "I must unhappily inform you that my wife, XXXXXX, is carrying on an illicit affair with YYYYYY. I am hoping to recover our marriage, and ask if you have any influence over her, to urge her to abandon her cheating lifestyle and return to me and our family. Her cell number is 111-222-3333"
11 � Write a similar note to POSOM's contacts.
12 � Send out both packages, to all contacts at one time.
13 � Brace yourself.

Hello Foreverfaith,

Welcome to Marriage Builders. I am sorry for the circumstances that cause you to post in this forum. Marriage Builders provides a plan for busting up an affair an recovering a marriage. If you haven't had an opportunity to read Dr. Harley's articles about affairs, it is a good place to start. Also, get and read Dr. Harley's book, "Surviving an Affair".

What is the circumstantial evidence that you have? How do you know that skanky OW has been in your home? If you don't have actual proof of the affair, take a look at the operation investigate forum. Install a keylogger on your H's computer. Look at his phone records. Put a VAR in his vehicle and in any other place where he would likely have a conversation with ow. Use a GPS on his vehicle/phone.

Don't confront your husband at this point. Get the information that you need (who, what, when, where) and then do a massive exposure to family, the workplace, friends, and anyone who can put pressure on your H to end the affiar.

How long do you think this affair has been going on? A few years? Did your husband change jobs after the first affair? Did the OW? Do you know who the current OW is?

Do you have children? If so, how old?

AM

How old are you and your husband? Is this your first marriage? How did you know that the first affair ended?

AM

FF, welcome to Marriage Builders, sorry for the reasons that bring you here. Your first order of business should be to quietly find out the truth. Hire a PI if you can or use some of the resources mentioned by neverguessed and armymama. Don't ask your husband if he is having an affair. Don't tell him anything you find until you speak to us. Find out everything and then come back here and tell us what you find.

Do you travel very much? Does he?