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I know how crazy / anxious / paranoid I am about everything right now. That's why before I do *anything* I post here first. I figure if I force myself to do that, I won't do anything stupid.
Me: BH, 28
WW, 26
Married September 2005
D-Day: April 7, 2013
A started in February, 2013, and is ongoing
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That's a great idea. The vets around here will be more than happy to bring you down to earth when you feel like you HAVE to do something.
We're here for you, buddy!
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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Locks changed. house sealed.
Me: BH, 28
WW, 26
Married September 2005
D-Day: April 7, 2013
A started in February, 2013, and is ongoing
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Going to eat - work out - shower, shave, dress nice, make sure I smell good, pack up some bare essentials and head over there tonight. I'm nervous as hell.
Me: BH, 28
WW, 26
Married September 2005
D-Day: April 7, 2013
A started in February, 2013, and is ongoing
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Going to eat - work out - shower, shave, dress nice, make sure I smell good, pack up some bare essentials and head over there tonight. I'm nervous as hell. OJ, you know that phone commercial, the one where the guy is walking along with his phone, and hundreds of people are walking behind him, showing the support the phone company gives their subscribers? (I think there was even one commercial that had tech support flying around overhead in helicopters.) Keep that visual in mind tonight. That's all of us, walking behind you as your support team.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Going to eat - work out - shower, shave, dress nice, make sure I smell good, pack up some bare essentials and head over there tonight. I'm nervous as hell. Good job!! And be sure and tell her that the OM is never to darken your doorstep again or you will call the police and file a restraining order. your home is not a hoe house...
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Me: BH, 28
WW, 26
Married September 2005
D-Day: April 7, 2013
A started in February, 2013, and is ongoing
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Good luck...
don't call the police or mention them
if she calls the police be calm and work with them but in the end if the police tell (not ask...but TELL) you to leave...respect them. They may be making a mistake but they are just doing their job and judges, should you end up in divorce court or a hearing to determine a restraining order...don't rule in favor of anyone that gives the cops a hard time.
Godspeed,
Mr. W
FBH(me)-51 FWW-49 (MrsWondering)
DD19 DS 22 Dday-2005-Recovered
"agree to disagree" = Used when one wants to reject the objective reality of the situation and hopefully replace it with their own.
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Well, I talked to her. I told her she is my wife, and I am her husband, and that I was moving back in, that OM is no longer allowed on the property - she kind of laughed. Looked at me like I was crazy. Then she said - "I'm leaving then." I told her that I am no longer supporting or enabling this affair. She said - "What are you talking about? We're done." I kind of just shrugged at her, I didn't say anything back. She closed the door to her room and just went "oh my god..." In a kind of "I can't believe how ridiculous this is" kind of way - like I am crazy.
Guys, the way she is talking to me is killing my motivation. It's so hard to do this. She is so cold towards me. And to think we were trying to have a baby 2 months ago.
Last edited by OddJob123; 05/06/13 06:39 PM.
Me: BH, 28
WW, 26
Married September 2005
D-Day: April 7, 2013
A started in February, 2013, and is ongoing
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Guys, the way she is talking to me is killing my motivation. It's so hard to do this. She is so cold towards me. And to think we were trying to have a baby 2 months ago. Be loud and proud, dude!!!!  The one being ridiculous here is the woman who is fogged out and high on affair crack.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Do you have a VAR? I'd keep one on my person if I were you, just in case.
It's her choice to move and makes it more in your favor (if you get to the divorce stage) if it's her that moves out. You're in the marital bed, right?
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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Right now she's locked up in her room. I don't know if I should continue to try and talk to her, or just leave her alone.
Me: BH, 28
WW, 26
Married September 2005
D-Day: April 7, 2013
A started in February, 2013, and is ongoing
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Right now she's locked up in her room. I don't know if I should continue to try and talk to her, or just leave her alone. Just kick back and make yourself at home! Make some popcorn and watch The Voice! 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Well, there is no marital bed really because we moved into the new house 2 months ago. Right now my cousin and his girlfriend are staying upstairs in this old house paying us a little bit of rent. My WS is downstairs in a little room that she has picked to stay in. You think it would be a good idea to insist to sleep in there?...
Me: BH, 28
WW, 26
Married September 2005
D-Day: April 7, 2013
A started in February, 2013, and is ongoing
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Posts: 513
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Guys - is the fog REALLY REALLY this powerful??? To make her just not give two sh**s about me at all? To be this cold. It's like she is a COMPLETELY different person, literally. Like, I understand the fog concept, it is just so hard for me to believe she can come back from this. Seeing it again right now just made me realize how far gone she is.
Me: BH, 28
WW, 26
Married September 2005
D-Day: April 7, 2013
A started in February, 2013, and is ongoing
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Unfortunately, yes, the fog is this bad. You just need to pretend that she's an alien that abducted your real wife.
It is possible for her to come back -- many have.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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Joined: May 2013
Posts: 513
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So.. when she said "we're done" I just kind of shrugged and gave her a little look that would go along with a shrug, lol... Is there something better I can do or say when she says things like that?
Me: BH, 28
WW, 26
Married September 2005
D-Day: April 7, 2013
A started in February, 2013, and is ongoing
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Guys - is the fog REALLY REALLY this powerful??? To make her just not give two sh**s about me at all? To be this cold. It's like she is a COMPLETELY different person, literally. Like, I understand the fog concept, it is just so hard for me to believe she can come back from this. Seeing it again right now just made me realize how far gone she is. Yes, the fog is THAT powerful. And YES, she IS a completely different person. She is an addict. She's not the woman you married. Know the enemy...and the enemy is The Fog...
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
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Well, there is no marital bed really because we moved into the new house 2 months ago. Right now my cousin and his girlfriend are staying upstairs in this old house paying us a little bit of rent. My WS is downstairs in a little room that she has picked to stay in. You think it would be a good idea to insist to sleep in there?... Where do you plan to sleep? And why do you have someone living in the house? Where is the 'master' bedroom? Is there one?
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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