R and I were married for 14 years. He's my soulmate. He says I'm his as well. The first 12 were wonderful. Then an affair with a women 15 or so years his junior. That didn't last long. He moved out. I fought, cussed, screamed for my marriage. He came home. We did well for about a year. His job changed and he went over the road trucking. Yikes! Another affair, he said he loved her. I virtually said there's the door. I didn't have any fight left in me. I was tired raising the kids and now another affair. I have regretted many times that I didn't fight.

Here we are today, 15 years later. His marriage to the 2nd woman has not been a good marriage. Never really has been. He's a passive person and will put up with lots of stuff before he even says anything not to mention doing anything about it. In the beginning after he left, we remained friends even while he was married to S. That is until she found out, then we had to quite communicating.

I have missed my best friend terribly over the years. Of course, I used words to attempt to sound like I was happier without him. I dated for awhile in the beginning. No one makes me as happy as he does. Over the years the children would keep us both updated on the other's life. I often told my daughter to pass on my number should he ever ask for it. And about 6-8 months ago my daughter mention that Dad wants to talk, she told him that my life was good and she didn't want him messing that up. She didn't give my number at that time, as she wanted to make sure I wanted it.

After about 4 months of thinking and wanting to contact him, we finally connected via FaceBook. We spoke many times via the internet and finally the telephone. I went into the conversations wanting my friend back and dreaming it could be more. We talk each day, many hours. He came and visited for an extended weekend. Things seem so right between us. I feel I can believe him and trust him in everything besides the infidelity. I hope that trust comes in time. It seems that 12 years is his itch. I am sure the next 12 year mark will be hard to get through.

He is not divorced. He is with a vendictive woman and is trying to get his items out of the house before she breaks everything he owns. He hopes to have the divorce finished and be able to move back home by October this year. I would love for him to be here by then.

Here's my problem. Our daughter is cautious as expected. Our son is down right upset with me for not seeing the light. The light being that I will just get hurt again. He won't come to any event that he knows his Dad will be at, he doesn't want to see his Dad. He tells me he knows in time he will open up to the idea but it will be in his time not his Dads. His Dad wasn't around for him when he needed him and my son is full of revenge. My son is 27. His Dad left when he was 12.

R and I did sleep in the same bed. There is no intimacy between us at this time. I am not sure when I will allow that back. I want it. I am scared.

I really want R in my life. I'd like to be his wife again. I'd like our adult kids and us to enjoy what future we have together.

R has apoligized for eveything I could every think of and some I never even felt an apology was needed. He has matured a lot over the years. I feel I can trust him and then there is that ping of non-trust. I had a listing of things he'd have to do -to get back into my life. R has not seen this listing. He is doing things on my list by himself.

I am very happy these days except when I have a conversation about this with my son. Today he told me, he would not show up where he knew his Dad would be. He doesn't want to see him as of yet.

I guess I'd like some input on 1) my son and how to deal with him and 2) can this remarriage work or am I dreaming?

Thank you for reading and any input.

Typical belief of "soulmate" is a lie from the pit of hell.

Think "Sole mate" instead.

So let me get this right. You are having an affair with your former husband who is married?


This is a website for supporting marriage. Not adultery.


I advise you to end this today. Tell him what you have done is horribly wrong and don�t speak to him ever again while he is married. Call his wife and let him know exactly what is has happened.

Have you ever thought that the reason his M is so horrible is because of him? He is a serial cheater.

Don't you remember how bad it hurt when he cheated on you??? Didn't you think it was horribly wrong?

WHY would you put another person (his wife) in this postion?

Wouldn't you anticipate he is playing the same games he played when he was having his A's on you? Making YOU out to be the bad guy?

He sounds like a REAL catch {shakes head}

That is the right thing to do. You will get no support to your motives or actions here.

You are now involved in an affair with a married man. You are now the Other Woman (OW).

Stop

uhh...more like a disgusting nightmare.

Copy for use at a later date.

The best thing you can do for your fomer husband is to direct him here so we can help him.

Couldn't help myself....this is just dripping with irony.

Your son is 27 years old. Not only is he grown, he has been a grown man for many years. I had children when I was his age. I'm only a few years older than him.

LET YOUR SON MAKE HIS OWN DECISIONS. HE'S A GROWN UP. HE'S TOO OLD TO BE "DEALT WITH" BY HIS MOTHER.

Ditto. The son is the only one in this busted-up family with the right idea.

AM

I'm not seeing a problem in that paragraph. Do you not allow your children to have their own opinions?

I understand there are issues here.

I understand that any relations with him is considered adultry.

I suppose that stopping this is the only thing that works.

I had the MARRIAGE that was suppose to be solid, I want that back.

Thanks for the painful truth in your advice.

I am not sure what I'll do.

Interesting.

Of course, this is my son's to deal with. I guess I was hoping on how I can deal with it. Yes he's allowed to make his own decision.

I just wish I could get him to solve the issues between him and his dad.

The son is the only one here who has any common sense. I would do as your son suggested and stay away from your creepy, lying, cheating ex husband.

Your X is remarried so all you are doing is committing adultery. What a horrible role model you are for your kids.

Of course he can make his own decisions. Have his own opiniions.

I'm sure he's told that story about you a million times to other women too. Apparently this wolf doesn't even have to dress like a sheep anymore!

Thank you so kindly.

The issue is that his dad is corrupt. It will be solved when the corruption stops. The problem with your son is that he somehow learned right from wrong on his own. Someone poisoned his mind with morality and common sense.

I came here believe someone would see my side here and maybe direct me.

I suppose that's exactly what I received.

The truth hurts so badly.