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Joined: May 2013
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My husband and I had been married 27 years in August of last year. 1 month b4 our anniversary he left (affair). We have not seen each other in 10 mths. We do not talk. A week ago he started texting me and it appears that the green grass is not so green. He doesnt go into detail. I dont know if it was put on the table to reconcile if thats what I want or not. He is still residing with her and to me all converation is off till hes not. But it appears he is only there as a flop house comfort zone as I don't indulge in any conversation. Where do I begin?
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352
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You begin by deciding where YOU are - mentally, emotionally, romantically. He has ZERO legitimate right to expect your being willing to interface with him at all.
So tell us - In a perfect world, what would be your perfect resolution to this situation?
(And I mean between you and WH. Wanting POSOW to die screaming from a flesh-eating bacteria infection starting in her coochie might be "perfect", but we have to leave that for a different discussion.)
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Joined: May 2013
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NeverGuuessed...Well Mentally I am good...Stomach nervous, emotionally I am angry, not so sad...past that. I get up every day take care of house and yard and demanding job. So Im afloat. Tired but afloat. I kinda laugh at him with the OW being what she is...How do I decipher his little quips?
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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We do not talk. A week ago he started texting me and it appears that the green grass is not so green. He doesnt go into detail. Without details, you will get vague responses. Exactly what did the text(s) say? Word for word.
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Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,549 Likes: 10
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My husband and I had been married 27 years in August of last year. 1 month b4 our anniversary he left (affair). We have not seen each other in 10 mths. We do not talk. A week ago he started texting me and it appears that the green grass is not so green. He doesnt go into detail. I dont know if it was put on the table to reconcile if thats what I want or not. He is still residing with her and to me all converation is off till hes not. But it appears he is only there as a flop house comfort zone as I don't indulge in any conversation. Where do I begin? Welcome to MB, Jilly. You begin by sending him a Plan B letter, telling him that he can contact you when his affair is over, and NOT BEFORE. (That is, if you are open to the possibility of reconciliation.) Then you change your phone numbers and email addresses (or block him) so that so that he cannot contact you again. Get someone to take his messages and let you know when he is on his knees begging you to come back - until then, that person is not to let any messages through to you. Do you have children? How old? Where do they live - with you, if they are grown up? Who was the skank that he left you for - an old girlfriend? A colleague? A whore he met in a bar? Was she married? How old is she?
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,956 Likes: 1
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My husband and I had been married 27 years in August of last year. 1 month b4 our anniversary he left (affair). We have not seen each other in 10 mths. We do not talk. A week ago he started texting me and it appears that the green grass is not so green. He doesnt go into detail. I dont know if it was put on the table to reconcile if thats what I want or not. He is still residing with her and to me all converation is off till hes not. But it appears he is only there as a flop house comfort zone as I don't indulge in any conversation. Where do I begin? Sorry for the pain that has brought you here. Have you read this? Start Here Has the affair been exposed to everyone who is important in your lives? Here are the very first things to consider: 1.) Your H must agree to never again see or talk with the OW for the rest of your lives. 2.) Your H must agree to abide by Extraordinary Precautions for the rest of your lives. EPs are written by you and are non-negotiable. They are instituted to prevent another affair. 3.) Integrated and transparent lifestyle 4.) He must answer all the questions you have about the affair. 5.) He must agree to a program of recovery to restore your marriage to better than it was before the affair. ALL of these conditions should be agreed to before you consider having your H move back. Have you been in Plan B, which is no contact with a wayward husband? Do you have an intermediary who is handling contact for you?
Married 1980
DDay Nov 2010
Recovered thanks to Marriage Builders
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Joined: May 2013
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Pepperband..Well word for word. I was asking for a this document to be signed allowing me to sell or refinance the house in the event he died b4 the will was filed...I told him I wanted no tether between us. He says...So Tether, I would really liove to see you keep our home, I think you are doing things too quickly. I told him after some dumb comment he needed to get his head out of his butt amoung other places...He said you know I am am but then when you turn your cheek I out it right back...See nothing much...Just inuendo...Asked him to get the remainder of his stuff out say its so difficult and overwhelming, he cant believe its over...
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Where do I find these abbreviations? LongWayFrom Home----No intermediary...We have no need for discussion. Child is grown. All we have to deal with his homestead. He was being a butt months ago now not at all....Im not in Plan B or anything...Until he leaves her no matter what reason hes there for I have no reason to be in Plan B...and he hasnt said he wants to reconcile.
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Joined: Sep 2008
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Pepperband..Well word for word. I was asking for a this document to be signed allowing me to sell or refinance the house in the event he died b4 the will was filed...I told him I wanted no tether between us. I don't understand this. In the UK where I live, if you jointly own your home and one spouse dies, the other would be the owner and could sell if wanted. You don't have to have a pre-signed document allowing you to sell if one dies. Could you explain why he needed to sign this, please?
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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Joined: Oct 2000
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Where do I find these abbreviations? Most of them are *** HERE ***
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He says...So Tether, I would really liove to see you keep our home, I think you are doing things too quickly. Ha! This is less about reconciliation and more about him being in control of your decisions. He said you know I am am but then when you turn your cheek I out it right back What does this mean? Is there a typo here? say its so difficult and overwhelming, he cant believe its over... WH wants to keep you in limbo. This does not resemble any real attempt or desire to return to the marriage. Plan B.
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Not so here in FL...Will waiting to be filed...Complicated...
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I have no reason to be in Plan B... I disagree. Plan B will help you a lot!
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Not so here in FL...Will waiting to be filed...Complicated... Are you typing from a smart phone?
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Do you have legal representation Jilly?
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SugarCane...I like you!
Daughter 24 living at home right now after some major surgery.
The SKANK...Been married 5 times, posts her other "realtionships" 5 in 2 years on FB
Met in a bar
TROLL, REPULSIVE, HUGE...MANLY (spelling)
Shes 6 year his junior
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Plan B seems insignificant as he has NOT said he wants to reconcile and I dont know what I want either
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Daughter 24 living at home right now after some major surgery. How is she doing? 
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