At this point, it's kinda late to change the moving thing. I've already worked out my two weeks at work (as in, I'm already done there), and I've already made arrangements to move. I have continued to ask her to come home, to work things out, and reminded her that it is never to late to try. She has made zero effort on any of those things.

She won't come see me other than picking up her stuff. She doesn't really talk other than talking about ending the marriage. What am I supposed to do with that? Just keep saying the same thing, over and over again? "I still love you, and I still value our marriage more than anything. I know you don't feel the same right now, but I need to let you know how I feel."

You seem to be saying that it is all over now and there is nothing you can do to stop the ball rolling. In that case, I am unsure what help you came here for. (Please don't take that the wrong way - I am not being nasty to you!) I am genuinely puzzled as to what aspect of your marriage you would like advice with.

I agree with you! She does value intimate conversation. I've always been somewhat OK with that... I was raised with 4 sisters, so I'm used to womanly conversation lol. But right now, how am I supposed to try and meet that need when she isn't willing to talk to me on an intimate level? That's why I feel so helpless at this point... I know the needs I failed to meet, but they don't seem to be ones I can really "make deposits" with her at this point, as she is building up walls and not allowing me too.

I understand. On a certain level, I don't know what I came here for. I guess to see if there was stuff I should do, or didn't do, that I could. I feel like I did a lot of what I should have... I completely agree with a lot of the suggestions but just don't understand how to make them work.

I failed to mention in my original post that I am being evicted by my landlord because he entered our apartment while we were on a small vacation and found her cat that we weren't supposed to have. So in order to stay, I'd have to go back to work and see if my boss is willing to rescind my two weeks notice, and then find a new apartment, and then move all my stuff, to stay in a state where I have no close friends and no family, to stay far away from my family, all for a (what I, and I think some of you) see as a very slim chance that she won't divorce me and will come home.

I should also mention that if she does divorce me, I have made up my mind that that is final. I will not pursue her any longer, I will not contact her any longer if she does do what she says she wants to and pursues this divorce.

OK, from RN to RN you KNOW how to write plans that include measurable goals.

A classic mistake was made over your working hours. It was not she who first put her job before the marriage; you did it by working those hours. This might have been okay if you made your four days off really romantic and fun, spending all your time together. And her job choice should have been agreed (POJA) so that it did not result in her never being around when you were off duty.

It can't be too late to stop the move, if you really want to stay and Plan A. As I understand it, nursing is a successful occupation in the USA. I'm sure you could find another job that would allow you stay in the area for another year, if you really wanted to.

You made a statement early in this thread about being committed to your vows and not giving up your marriage just because it is a short one with no children. Well, commitment through an affair requires more than putting her stuff on the doorstep and going home to your parents so soon.

mccula, SugarCane has brought you back to the same point I got you to yesterday at 8:30pm, my time.

WHAT DO YOU WANT THE RESOLUTION OF THIS SITUATION TO BE?

HOW FAR WILL YOU CONSENT TO GO TO BRING THAT ABOUT?

Well, I called her to apologize again for what I said about putting her stuff out, and to re-explain again why I did so, but not to make an excuse for it. She told me she would either call me after work or on her break. She tells me that often, she never really calls. So I'm not too hopeful she'll call back.

I don't know what to tell her at this point. If she would be willing to work on the marriage, I'd be 110% willing to stay in the same state. I've told her that before. I guess I can remind her of that. But at the same time I feel like I need to watch out for myself- to let myself heal- and I don't know if that's something I can do so far from any friends or family.

There you go - there is a solution. It isn't easy but something can be done if you really want to try Plan A. That is a plan of exactly what you could do if you really wanted to fight.

I'm not saying that you ought to fight, but YOU said or implied that you were not willing to just roll over and let her end the marriage. If that's how you feel about your commitment, do something about it.

Ask questions.
Open ended questions not easily answered with "yes" or "no".
Get her to talk. You listen.

My post seems to have gotten overlooked. Do you intend to try either of the below action-items?

After reading your posts I get the impression you would like to emotionally recover from this and move on in life after divorce.
Regarding your vows, EVERY major religion allows divorce for adultery.

I had a hard time with this issue also but after one year of divorce I can tell you that it CAN get better. The world is a beautiful wonderful place and there are beautiful intelligent women everywhere.

I see nothing wrong or immoral with throwing in the towel and proceeding with divorce.

As for why she had the affair your nursing job did not force her to start an affair.
She chose to start an affair.
I had 10 years and children in my marriage, thankfully you have none.
Her family sounds like a bunch of enabling parasites and divorce will allow you to wash your hands of them also.

Your choice is to go after her and try to win her back and invest your time in that effort or start rebuilding your life and invest your effort in that.

What do you want to do?

Very often, people will respond to this by telling us what their wayward spouse says he/she wants. Please answer this question as written.

Mccula,
It sounds like you "wish" you could fix this and make it work. Reading between the lines I think she wants to hear you put job first and didn't know how to meet her needs. She needs to come to the place that she sees a differance in you and thinks maybe she made a mistake. You can't teach her that, you can only "let" her see the changes in you.
One idea you might try is to cancel leaving your job. Ask your boss for help. You can find a new place to live and make it nice & comfortable. Let her know you are staying close and are not leaving.
If you are in the area you can call her every so often to see how she is. See if that allows you to meet some needs. Don't expect anything but over time it may show her you are different. Listen much more than talk, try to understand and really hear what she says.

Dan