You don't have anything to worry about? They make you feel so comfortable and they're easy to talk to. Let us know when you're on.

Just checked her phone records again. Seems she has been talking to her lawyer yesterday, the day before, and a few other times within the past couple weeks. I haven't heard anything from them for a while - I was hoping she was thinking about reconsidering. I guess I am delusional like she says.

Still no number that could be OM's number?

Did you check all numbers?

Yes, I have two numbers that I've zeroed in on. I might go to a public phone and call them to see who answers. I am first going to cross reference them with the business database to make sure they aren't clients.

Try googling them and see or whitepages.com reverse look up.

Also you can block your number with *67 and it will show up as private or unknown.

The only thing I have is a cell phone. Does *67 still work with that? I did do a reverse lookup on everything and eliminated a lot of the numbers that way. Cell numbers are almost always private.

Yes it still works.

On the show now.

Alrighty then. I was on the radio show today and Dr. Harley advised that I do Plan A. I am going to follow up with him through email, but I found it to be rather surprising that he recommended that when my wife has steadfastly refused to even speak to me about anything, and had a current restraining order. Not sure how to go about that without getting arrested or having it be effective in any way. He suggested a letter, which I tried already. I might read Surviving an Affair before proceeding.

Did anyone catch the show today? Thoughts?

I haven't yet, but will.

Did he mention any other Plan A ideas?

What did he say about the restraining order?

He didn't really address it directly. That's one of the followup questions I'll have for him.

Check this out, though - the friend I mentioned, the one who led me to HNHN, he went through this same thing with his wife a number of years ago. His wife heard the show live and heard Dr. Harley mention them. I about had a stroke because I didn't know he was going to say anything about them. Turns out she was cool with it, thank God.

Good.

I would think she would be proud. Do they follow MB?

I will post your show as soon as it's in the archive.

Do you have any Plan A ideas?

Even though I've been in Plan B, more or less, I have been maintaining a positive demeanor when she makes requests regarding the kids. I always say yes to her requests to watch them at different times than usual, etc. Basically when I do have communication with her I am accommodating to her needs and not confrontational at all (not that I ever was). When she does try to bait me into arguing sometimes, I just ignore it. I used to get sucked into arguments with her but I have better things to do these days.

I did make a Mother's Day card (from the girls, of course) for her, and put their handprints on it and let them put flower stickers on it.. She hasn't mentioned it, though, which I expected.

Plan A starts with communicating a willingness to right the wrongs of the marriage; a commitment to eliminate love busters, to learn to meet emotional needs, to build a compatible lifestyle together.

Sometimes all you can do in Plan A for a time is eliminate the love busters. Sometimes there's only some parts you can really do because your wife is not open to love bank deposits. But you take the parts you can do and polish them up really good, and you study up on the parts you can't do yet so you'll be ready (listen to Marriage Builders Radio daily to be prepping!), and you look for chinks in the armor through which you will be able to lob small starter love bank deposits that open the way for larger deposits in the future.

I am betting that with a restraining order, there were probably some love busters that need to be ELIMINATED, fast.

That's a great component of a great Plan A!

I totally agree.

Also wasn't there a hearing or something to have the RO dropped? What do you need to do about the RO?

No, just the original RO hearing. I haven't heard anything and I haven't asked about it. I thought about saying something but I wouldn't know how to, without ya know - violating it.

Can you check with the police station or court house? How long Is it for?

She contacts you, correct? How is this not violating the RO?

Did you ever find out who OM is?

Pay for the PI?

I have not found out about OM yet. PI is waiting on me for more info. Not sure how to find out about him other than to call those numbers and try to isolate one.

I was on the radio show yesterday, I got my copy of Surviving An Affair today. Either she sent it last week or those guys are the most efficient people I have ever seen. Wow.