Same people as before but now you have dirt on the OM to share. Then get your friend to get you OM's FB contact list. Then you FB expose OM with the truth.

All of her friends know and it has not made one bit of difference as far as I can see, so what difference does it make? She'd just speed up the divorce process and use that against me in court. I am not able to do anything without it coming back to hurt me somehow.

Well I just see it as this you cant make a omlete with out breaking some eggs you need to expose the om, remember this you may not see the exposer work but it is some way. Just imagine this her friends may say something about it here and there it will start getting under her skin. Just know you are doing the right thing. Doing the right thing is very hard you watch those movies with the hero hurt and shot up but he still saves the day. So save the day!

Hmmmmm..how about give it another mth. Your wife sounds like me!! But u know she IS capable of change... You probably throw in a lot of disrespectful judgements around her. How do you know exactly what she will do or how she feels without asking her? How about you stop finding reasons to not do the plan and just do it. You won't kniw what th effect of exposure will be unless you do it. Again what do u have to lose? If it speeds up the process of divorce doesn't matter since you're headed for a divorce anyway.

I texted her a little today. Put my foot in my mouth, as usual. Hard to get any kind of Plan A going when I do that. I'll post what happened below.

5:15 pm I get a text from WW: "A friend invited me to a concert because her other friend had to cancel. Would you mind watching the girls tonight, last minute? I have to let her know asap?"

I respond: "I'm not really prepared for that, I need to shower and I have to run to the store. Not that I don't want to see them."

Her: "Please. I know you don't want to do me any favors, but I'd really appreciate it. Things like this never drop in my lap." Then she offered to bring us dinner also.

So I don't know if it was the "do me any favors" line that kinda set me off, but the next thing I said was...

"(OM) not available? He sees the girls more than I do."

Brilliant move, slick.

I think I did a quick accounting of favors she has done for me lately and got a little peeved:

� Lied to me
� Cheated on me
� Changed the locks on my own house so I would have to stay with my parents
� Filed for divorce
� Got a restraining order against me when I went to my house and caught the OM n there
� Keeping me from seeing my girls more than 2 days a week

So yeah, I was a little perturbed at the notion that any "favor" I might do for her would be "appreciated". She'd have a long way to go to show "appreciation".

5:15 pm I get a text from WW: "A friend invited me to a concert because her other friend had to cancel. Would you mind watching the girls tonight, last minute? I have to let her know asap?"

I respond: "I'm not really prepared for that, I need to shower and I have to run to the store. Not that I don't want to see them."

Her: "Please. I know you don't want to do me any favors, but I'd really appreciate it. Things like this never drop in my lap." Then she offered to bring us dinner also.

So I don't know if it was the "do me any favors" line that kinda set me off, but the next thing I said was...

"(OM) not available? He sees the girls more than I do."

Brilliant move, slick.

I think I did a quick accounting of favors she has done for me lately and got a little peeved:

- Lied to me
- Cheated on me, continues to this day
- Changed the locks on my own house so I would have to stay with my parents
- Filed for divorce
- Got a restraining order against me when I went to my house and caught the OM n there
- Keeping me from seeing my girls more than 2 days a week

So yeah, I was a little perturbed at the notion that any "favor" I might do for her would be "appreciated". She'd have a long way to go to show "appreciation".

What exactly does the restraining order say?

I am to stay 50 yards from her, 50 yards from my house, and no contact with her except through email/text and only as it pertains to the girls. There is no expiration.

I suggest That you wait before responding to texts.
I heard your call on the radio and have been reading
Your thread.
Next time POST HERE for a suggested plan A response BEFORE replying to her.
Okay?

I usually ignore texts that have nothing to do with the girls, as prescribed by Plan B, which I have been in. Since Dr. Harley recommended Plan A, it has been a bit confusing to say the least. As I said before, Plan A would be difficult at best right now. A friend of mine doesn't think Plan A is good at this time, since he knows a lot more about the situation. He says that I am not ready, whatever that means. He has been through it, so maybe he has some insight, I don't know.

I guess I saw it as a Plan A opening, but having just gotten the skinny on the OM, I didn't keep it zipped like I should have.

But it's ok for her to text you whenever she wants? Have you asked legal aide about this?

How can the RO be held to if she keeps breaking it?

Have you exposed on OM's side yet?

Looks like this is the end of the line for me. I got final divorce papers today. She got the house, the business, all of my stuff still in the house. I have nothing left. Two days a week with my girls? Not gonna cut it. This is no life.

Peace.

OUT.

So sorry to hear this BlindsidedNM.

Have you been able to retain a lawyer?

Did you ever expose on OM's side?

No, and no. I talked to my father-in-law (I guess ex FIL now) and told him that he can disclose the OM's DWI and domestic abuse arrest with the rest of my (ex) wife's family.

Insult to injury - I found a diaphragm in my kid's diaper bag today. So she is screwing the OM with my kids present. It's just a total nightmare all around. I just want to wake up, ya know?

Try to plan A her.
That is your best hope

That's what Dr. Harley told me when I was on his show. The divorce is final and the restraining order is still in effect. Kinda hard, especially when she treats me as though I'm not even there - no eye contact, nothing.

Yes I understand.
I've been in a similar situation.
She is in the state of withdrawal.
She is in love with another man and you just have to wait for them to have conflict in their affair and be there as the best option when it gets tough.

It's a terrible situation but as Harley said, it's your best hope

I really don't think she is ever going to consider getting back together, to be honest. And get married again? Seriously? I have never personally known anyone who has done that. I have a friend who knows people who has, but that's it.

I would certainly be open to that, but I have to say that she would have a LOT of work to do before I would trust her or even respect her enough for that to happen. She has dug that hole deep and I don't know that she would put forth the effort to fill it back up.

People reconcile after divorce all the time, as Harley mentioned in your call.
As for trust, the MB program is not a blind trust program. It is a program , through exercising Extraordinary precautions which removes the conditions which made the affair possible.

She has NO interest now because she is In love with someone who agrees with everything she says. In marriage conflict is inevitable.

She and her affair partner WILL have conflict.
During this time you need to maintain employment, physical and mental attractiveness to her. She will compare and contrast AND YOU are the father of her kids. That's something that he isn't.

Read the thread of justthe3ofus. His wife left the country for a year then returned hat in hand after divorce.

Just try to make love bank deposits and avoid love bank withdrawals.

Post here before picking up your kids for tips.
That is a great time to plan A.