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Hi all, I've read lots of posts and the Dr. intros. Question I have is, I suspect an emotional affair by my wife with a old high school sweet heart found on face book. The problem is, i cant prove it. Her phone is thru her work, realtor, and we don't have a home computer, just this kindle I'm using right now.
Here's the next problem, her high school reunion is next week, I know she gonna see him there, but I can't go due a very important work meeting that's been scheduled 4 months ago, kiss my job if I miss it.

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Does this mean I have to go straight to a plan B? Btw I have suspected the emotional affair for at least 6 months, but no matter how much I dig I can't find anything. I'm not savvy with the tech and she is VERY good with it.

Last edited by stunnedbyallthis; 05/19/13 03:33 AM.
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You need to go to that Reunion or keep her from going.
Your car may need to have major mechanical problems etc to keep her from going but If her affair turns physical its twice as hard to kill.

I suggest you hire a PI.

How long have you been married?

Did you live together before marriage?

Do you have any children?

Do not tell her about this website; you should be in plan A at this time.
You should also read the book Surviving an Affair by Dr Bill Harley

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She's riding down with a girlfriend whom she also will be attending the 2 day reunion

I called a PI, he wants A LOT of money for a holiday weekend. Plus all expenses. I'm sorry I can't afford that.

Married 16 together 3 before that. 2 kids

I was hoping for an ebook, but I'll try to hit a bookstore today. Don't want to wait 3-4 days for an order to come in.

Last edited by stunnedbyallthis; 05/19/13 07:30 AM.
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stunned, welcome to Marriage Builders. I'm sorry for the circumstances that have brought you here.

Why, exactly, do you believe she is having an EA? You say you can't dig anything up. Please tell us what, if anything, is causing you to suspect this?

Do you know OM's name?

What is the schedule for that work meeting? Is it possible that you can approach your supervisor and tell him that there is a family emergency, that you can't stay for the whole meeting? Is it possible to attend the meeting and immediately leave? How far away is the class reunion?


D-Day 2-10-2009
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Thank you Marriage Builders!

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A couple of times I'd been in bed, woke up and wife wasn't there, caught her out in living room texting, or on her facebook account, that she now deleted. I've picked up her phone. Couple times and its locked out. Said she couldn't sleep or whatever. Now she'll stay in bed but wait till I'm asleep, still ususally it's very late/early am.

The reunion is another state, roughly a 6 hour drive away. this reunion was originally scheduled for June but last week she gave me this reminder story that it was changed to my business week trip time, and she says she told me 3 months ago. Which is not true. As for me, I'm the spec guy in our meeting, my boss is coming too, he's the legal and impact side.. This will be our only chance to present our bid.

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And no idea who the other man is. I sure wish I did. Oh I'm sorry, I'm a bit flustered with it all. We got into an argument a few weeks ago, and she told me that she's just not sure she's in love with me anymore. I was shocked, thus me finding this website an reading here.

Last edited by stunnedbyallthis; 05/19/13 08:18 AM.
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Originally Posted by stunnedbyallthis
The reunion is another state, roughly a 6 hour drive away. this reunion was originally scheduled for June but last week she gave me this reminder story that it was changed to my business week trip time, and she says she told me 3 months ago. Which is not true. As for me, I'm the spec guy in our meeting, my boss is coming too, he's the legal and impact side.. This will be our only chance to present our bid.
redflag Have you checked her class reunion's website to confirm the change of date? This sounds to me like there is no class reunion next week. I suspect this is a weekend away with OM.

Think. How can you confirm the date of the reunion?


D-Day 2-10-2009
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Quote
As for me, I'm the spec guy in our meeting, my boss is coming too, he's the legal and impact side.. This will be our only chance to present our bid.
I understand. I suggest you go to your boss and explain what is happening. (AFTER you confirm the date of the reunion.) See if there is a way to present your portion of the bid and then leave.


D-Day 2-10-2009
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Originally Posted by stunnedbyallthis
She's riding down with a girlfriend whom she also will be attending the 2 day reunion

I called a PI, he wants A LOT of money for a holiday weekend. Plus all expenses. I'm sorry I can't afford that.

Married 16 together 3 before that. 2 kids

I was hoping for an ebook, but I'll try to hit a bookstore today. Don't want to wait 3-4 days for an order to come in.

Kindle version of Surviving an Affair Here


Married 1980
DDay Nov 2010

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I did go to a website that's shows date and time. Not sure there was ever a change of date though. She could have made that up. Although my wife helped me schedule my business trip tho, as so we didn't have conflict, it's either terrible timing or, too conspiracy for anyone?

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Originally Posted by stunnedbyallthis
Hi all, I've read lots of posts and the Dr. intros. Question I have is, I suspect an emotional affair by my wife with a old high school sweet heart found on face book. The problem is, i cant prove it. Her phone is thru her work, realtor, and we don't have a home computer, just this kindle I'm using right now.
Here's the next problem, her high school reunion is next week, I know she gonna see him there, but I can't go due a very important work meeting that's been scheduled 4 months ago, kiss my job if I miss it.

My M also feel victim of FB with old acquaintance.

A VAR might help in this situation. My FWW's A was only revealed by snooping. You have to snoop any possible way you can.

If there is and A and it is in the early stages, you might be able to stop this before massive damage is done. Dr Harley often discusses reunions and how dangerous they are. Breeding grounds for A's.

How can you work it out that she doesn't go or you go with her? Snooping and figuring this out should be your top priority. Stopping the contact is much better than hiring a PI.

Please get the MB radio app and listen every day. Dr Harley addresses many situations similar to yours.

On to some questions.

Has your wife complained to you about anything? Are their things that she needs from you that you are not giving her? EN's?

Are you committing LB's?

DO NOT LET HER GO TO THIS REUNION WITHOUT YOU.

Last edited by 20YearHistory; 05/19/13 08:30 AM.
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Ty, for kindle link, but it actually won't start the ebook version till July. It's just available as a prebuy currently.

Last edited by stunnedbyallthis; 05/19/13 08:43 AM.
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The great thing about MB is that it gives you a plan. I encourage you to not make decisions based on your emotions right now. Use your head. Make calculated decisions.

No LB's. Look in the mirror. What things can you improve about yourself? How can you be the perfect H starting today?

Look for the EN's questionnaire on the website. Print off 2 copies. See if you W would be willing to go through this exercise with you?

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Originally Posted by stunnedbyallthis
I did go to a website that's shows date and time. Not sure there was ever a change of date though. She could have made that up. Although my wife helped me schedule my business trip tho, as so we didn't have conflict, it's either terrible timing or, too conspiracy for anyone?
Please clarify. Does the website show the date and time as being the same date and time as your business meeting?


D-Day 2-10-2009
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I plan on going to the reunion, but by the time I get home, then travel there, both evenings will be over. I'll be gettineg there in time for the last few events of the last day.

Last edited by stunnedbyallthis; 05/19/13 08:44 AM.
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Yes it's setup for Friday and Saturday of the memorial day weekend, those that wish to stay longer, people that wish to stay longer must confirm for longer reservations with hotel.

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Originally Posted by stunnedbyallthis
I plan on going to the reunion, but by the time I get home, then travel there, both evenings will be over. I'll be gettineg there in time for the last few events of the last day.
Can you fly instead of driving?


D-Day 2-10-2009
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Thank you Marriage Builders!

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I can't put a VAR in someone else's car, not that I have that kind of access to her car, but I won have that kind of time either, and isn't it kinda hard to try to get back out later too.


In regards to earlier question: she said I worked too much this year, that she loves me, but she's just not sure if she in love with me right now.w

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Originally Posted by stunnedbyallthis
I can't put a VAR in someone else's car, not that I have that kind of access to her car, but I won have that kind of time either, and isn't it kinda hard to try to get back out later too.


In regards to earlier question: she said I worked too much this year, that she loves me, but she's just not sure if she in love with me right now.w
You can't put a VAR in her car? Why not? Doesn't it sit in your driveway?


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

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