|
|
Joined: May 2013
Posts: 28
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2013
Posts: 28 |
sorry just did the back reading, that's why we got rid of the home computer, we'd come home, get on computer or just watch tv/movies, we wouldn't talk much, so in an effort to reconnect we thought getting rid of all the distractios we'd have to start talking to each other more. But then I got this new job that required a ton of hours. Hope that clears some of that up.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 163
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 163 |
This is good news, not because what she did was not bad, but ask yourself if you would rather she was having sf with another man. She needs help and you are in a good position to do that. Still follow mb principles, and help her while building a new marriage. Just start protecting your assets.
Me: 34 BH
Her: 31 FWW
DD (6)
DS (3)
D-day 2/2/13
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 163
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 163 |
She has an addiction, help her. Be her rock
Me: 34 BH
Her: 31 FWW
DD (6)
DS (3)
D-day 2/2/13
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,389
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,389 |
Okay, at least you now know what you are working with.
She must end contact with this friend permanently. This is a parter in crime and not a friend. She cannot recover from her addiction while friends with the other addict (this is no different than alcohol or crack or whatever).
You said you live in a gambling state. It is worth in the long term considering moving. Since there is a lot of gambling around you, I assume there is some sort of Gamblers Anonymous?
She will need to get into recovery before your marriage can recover. You will also have to consider that this may require separation and divorce in the long run if she refuses treatment.
I would also highly recommend that you speak to an attorney pronto to protect any finances because she could very well ruin you financially for decades with this secretive spending.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,481 Likes: 6
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,481 Likes: 6 |
Changes in the meaning of "addiction"
When I completed my Ph.D. degree in psychology in 1967, addiction was a term that referred to dependence on an unhealthy substance, such as alcohol or cigarettes. But today, the term also refers to unhealthy behavior, such as gambling.
What makes a behavior an addiction is primarily its self-destructive characteristics. For example, we don't consider eating food to be an addiction. We depend upon it for our survival. It's only an addiction if we eat so much food that it threatens our health. The same thing can be said of most other behavior. It's the amount of something we do or how we do it that usually determines whether or not it's an addiction. Exercise, video games, work, shopping, reading, and, yes, even sex, can either be healthy or unhealthy depending on how much of it we do and how we do it.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,481 Likes: 6
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,481 Likes: 6 |
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
0 members (),
294
guests, and
43
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,659
Posts2,323,615
Members72,372
| |
Most Online9,682
May 13th, 2026
|
|
|
|
