I'm in a tough situation. My wife and I have been married for 12 years. I'm 31... We met when I was 16. The last 6 years have been very difficult on both of us! I'm to the point I don't know what to do anymore. We have a 9 year old girl and I do not want her to have a broken home if we can save this.

Let me start with saying I have not been the perfect husband. Around 7 years ago I had a female at work and we became friends talked a lot at work and she'd invite herself to lunch often times... My wife and I would fight about it pretty bad. I thought she was ridiculous for being jealous and she did not like the friendship. We eventually did some marriage counseling and then I realized that no friendship is worth hurting my wife and I intentionally put distance there. I never meant to hurt her and there was never any physical attraction... I learned my lesson!

Well since that time my wife has "cheated" on me with 4 different men over the last 4 years. She doesn't agree it's cheating since it has only been "text/sexting" and emails... But I do. This Sunday I found her texting back and forth with some man that she met at the store and he paid her a compliment. I was shocked as this was a complete stranger! The others were ex-boyfriend from years ago, a co-worker, and a an old classmate she had on Facebook. I've had some words with most of them except for this last punk because I can't find him, but it seems I keep hearing she is the aggressor in these "relationships". So this weekend we have a big fight and I tell her I'm done. She begs me to listen to her. She claims loves me it was stupid she just enjoyed the attention, but it was nothing. I am so torn because my head says I'm wasting my time, but my heart loves my wife and wants to keep our family together. She then talks about she is always worried when I leave for a week for work what I am doing and doesn't like that I work with alot of females. We separated a few years ago and fought for months back and forth. I thought we were getting divorced... She refused to do anything like marriage counseling or anything. While we were seperated I contacted another girl on the Internet as I was lonely after she moved out of our home for 3 months and treated me like dirt. I was honest with her about it right away and she came back very quickly. It was only a few months later I found out she was "sexting" with the co-worker.

I don't know what to do! She will not do marriage counseling again and anytime I talk about working on our marriage she gets annoyed. She says she doesn't like "counseling." She tells me I just need to be nice and enjoy her and be her friend and that will fix our marriage. I told her I want to save our marriage and I would like that but how do I trust her? I can't trust her... She's also lied to me about money many times in our relationship. She tells me that she feels like I don't like her and she needs me to be her friend. We do fight alot. Maybe I am not as nice as I should be because I am constantly worried is she "cheating" or lying again? I am scared to go out of town now after this last incident. Is she talking to this guy still will it progress.

Can we save our marriage if I am the only one that seems to take it serious. She just tells me she wants to save our marriage, but I really don't see any changes from her afterward. She complains her work is so busy and she has been working out often. We don't get to spend much time together. But she does say she loves me and wants us to be together.

Suggestions, encouragement????

Just making sure people can respond...

Sounds like there's been quite a bit of infidelity on both sides.
Is she still in contact with these other men? Are you still in contact with these other women?

1. Both of you must have no contact with any of these people ever again.
2. Facebook must go, as well as any other social media.
3. Your lives must become open books for each other -- all passwords, phones, emails, etc must be shared.
4. No more friends of the opposite sex for either of you. Ever.
5. Start the marriage builders online program, and restore romantic love to your marriage.

Well I work w/ the lady still, but I avoid contact at all costs. No texting or messages and my wife is free to read them.

She works w/ one of the men too. But she claims she avoids contact...

There is no way for us to quit our jobs and/or relocate.

We have each other's passwords or so I thought... She created a new account and that's what she does and I don't know about it.

I'm going to look at the Program you suggested.

Thanks for your advice.

Can you also stop your traveling and being apart over night?

Do you have spyware on her phone and computer? Are you back home?

Good news is the traveling is coming to an end at least being gone a week at a time... I am back home. I don't have spyware on the phone or computer not sure how to do all that. Isn't that sad that I need to do that????

Not when you don't have the whole story.

Check this out. Keylogger Programs