Had a difficult day today with triggers. Recent family loss/death has set off many feelings of loss in general.

And again I can found an awesome source here at MB

Link
Managing Memories and Dealing With Triggers

Also found this on another site:

A: There is no set time line. On the average it's 1-2 years to heal from betrayal. 3-5 years is not out of the norm. Below is a general guide, not everyone heals in the same amount of time as others, there are variables to consider in each individual's situation. It's a rollercoaster ride, emotionally and physically, but I promise you - you can and will survive. But, you will never be the same and that's not always a bad thing. D-day to 6 months is devastation; you're done with life, in shock and sick at heart. You are raw emotionally and never knew such despair could be felt.

6-9 months are full of mood swings from "it's going to be okay" to "Why am I even trying." Your thoughts are emotion driven and not dependable.

9-12 months you can actually go about 15 minutes without thinking about "it." One morning I stepped out of the shower and realized that I hadn't thought of the affair yet. But sadly, those times were few and far between. You're still up and down emotionally.

Then at 12 months, sobbing again with the disappointment in your spouses selfishness

14 months you are able to have a heartfelt happy moment.

18 months the incredible crush of despair is gone. You wake up one morning and realize that the A was something that happened, not something that is happening.

20 months you no longer feel like your world is in danger. Trusting again, with your heart if not with your brain. Constantly questioning your own feelings but you realize it is fear stalking you now, not danger.

22 months you can see a future. You don't cry at the drop of a hat. You can watch television without falling apart at a love scene. Actually feeling almost back to your normal self. You finally loose that sense of being "outside" yourself. The phases can trick you, you think you're doing great at five weeks and then you hit the bottom of the well at 12 weeks. You can be raging at 10 months with a horrible anger that never appeared early on.

One day at a time...keep moving....



Placed the VAR....praying for the best

Just checking in.

My husband is doing great being attentive and actively participating in his recovery program and church activities. We continue to spend several hours a day with one another. We are approaching a very busy work season for him so we will need to make considerable effort to continue.
I have not heard anything inappropriate on the VAR but i will continue to periodically monitor. He continues to share other things like cell, computer and his work schedule openly.

I feel like I'm doing great for awhile and then go backwards emotionally. To be honest I believe he is doing better than I am. I question if I really want to put in many years of work with a person who could betray me in such a way. I also feel angry at myself for allowing such a thing to go on right up under my nose.

It makes me wonder if we would both be better off without one another ? I feel so defeated by the circumstances!

6-9 months are full of mood swings from "it's going to be okay" to "Why am I even trying." Your thoughts are emotion driven and not dependable.