You ARE doing well, TD. As I said, you can plan a from a distance and it's less taxing and your LB won't deplete as fast.

You mentioned that she may never leave her POSAP. Maybe, maybe not. I felt the same way in my situation. My FWW was engaged to be married to her POSOM. Til she found he was married. Being Muslim in a foreign country he could legally marry her, but she wouldn't do that. Plus she didn't want to be married to him after learning more about him. She came home giving up the life of a millionaire.

That process took a year-and-a-half. I plan A's most of time, withholding DR's and AO's. I also made a few deposits here and there. But I didn't see her much and that helped. By the time the divorce was finalized my LB was empty, and I was ready to move on. Though deeply saddened by the divorce, I was at peace that I had tried my best.

When my FWW came back into the picture and asked to come home, I was surprised and angry. I felt like I was being put through the whole thing again. But we worked it out. And now we are better than ever.

But the point is, you never know what is going to happen. She is in the fog and may never get out, but then again she may.

I don't think you need to add more "sticks" to your plan a. You've already done all that. Now its time to live your life, avoid DO's and AO's, and find time now and then to make desposits into her LB from a distance.

You can't wait forever, and at some point you may decide to accelerate the divorce. But as long you stick to your plan you are doing well and your future will be good.

Been really sick the past couple of days. Better now and upset that I missed my marathon because of the illness. DS graduated from preschool. They had a ceremony and everything for him. Was awesome! Took plenty of pictures. Plan on mailing SS some with the letter I send next week. DS really helped me out alot while I was sick. He knows how to get my medcine, fix daddy orange juice and microwave soup and he's only four! We had some real bonding time together while I was ill.

He started to say things like how we used to take care of mommy when she was sick and how he missed SS. No contact from SS sent a total of ten letters sending more next week. Had to get another car because mine went down. Nice looking car IMO, I picked the car and DS picked the color. Today we went out to eat and cleaned up the house because it deteriorated while I was sick. WW has pictures of herself on social media looking very skinny in high heels and a swimsuit. Dare I say she looks a prostitute?

She dropped alot of unnecessary weight, no doubt to impress POSOM he's kind of short and likes SKINNY women. My wife was average size now she looks disgusting. She called to speak with DS but he was sleep as was I. She left a message whispering saying she loves DS and sobbing. Seems like she is depressed like Sue was. Too bad her own fault. I'm doing well and constantly hit on by women, its flattering and I reject their advances.

Edit: thinking of responding to her call tomorrow after church. Sent POSOM a email about how he isn't just ruining her life but the lives of her children and how I know what type of person he is and its only a matter of time for her to see it too. He replied with come get her.

Was his response sarcastic or honest? I'm sorry to hear you were sick, but it sounds like DS is awesome. Too bad he has to do this without his brother beside him.

It just said come and get her.

Well, you could forward that to her and ask her if she needs help. It could be he is sick of her or it could be a challenge.

I think its a challenge. This is an ego driven loser. I will forward email to her and let it simmer.

Good idea. Let her see how fast he wants to "let her go" and won't even fight for her. Maybe even add a little note "I'm here for you and wouldn't discard you like POSOM so easily will"

It will put [censored] her delusion.

Sorry you were sick. Love what a little man your DS4 is. What a special little guy.

Also kudos on the letters to DSS. He will always remember them.

If she is skinny from drug use I would call
It quits.
If he turns his partners into addicts as his ex wife said, then that's more to handle than a normal recovery.

TD,
Your WW misses her child and is in grave conflict over her decisions. Yet, she has changed her values and lifestyle for this POSOM. I'm sorry you have to witness this.

Ignore his cryptic reply. I would not communicate with him unless it is an effort to stir things up and drive a wedge between to the two of them. Appealing to the conscience of this scum bag will gain no traction.

Since your wife appears to be in desperate straights, I would continue to put out to her indirectly through kindness and caring that you are going to be her soft landing.

You are now 6 months deep into your ordeal, and you are doing very well. Remember that the average affair lasts between 9 months and 2 years. But because you have swung the stick of Plan A, the fairy tale ended a long time ago. Expect the fog to abate as the POSOM makes withdrawal after withdrawal. At this point you have made yourself a better person and she has descended into hell. At some point she may look up and see you reaching down for her with a loving hand ready to save her. Or she may decide to sink further into the abyss.

How much longer can you be in Plan A?

I am in Plan A until my divorce is final.

TD,

Can you have your WWs parents pick her up and take her home. While you might not want to do this perhaps it's more appropriate for her parents to do so.

God Bless
Gamma

I think you misunderstood my comments Gamma. POSOM emailed me saying come and get her as a reply to an email I sent him regarding their relationsh!t. DS spoke with WW and she refused to talk with me. If she wants me to go get her then I will. She embassy expressed zero intentions on returning.

Sent WW an email of pics from DS field trip that I chaperoned. Asked if she was ok and how SS was. The field trip was awesome we played zombie tag at the park. Was hilarious. Got some exciting things planned for DS and I this weekend. Might go fishing and we are going to wash our new car just to name a few. Life is good and doubt WW feels as good as I do.

Those field trips are so memorable.

New car, huh?

You're WW is going to regret she missed these times in your DS's life.

Glad you two had fun.

TD,

The text you sent your WW was perfect. Short and caring. That was a LB deposit.

I remember feeling like you are right now. In spite of the sadness of a fractured marriage, there is some hope for a happy future and a new start. And you know what? As brutal as it was seeing an impending divorce on the horizon, the time I spent with my girls (I had full custody) was precious. I can tell you that you will always have great memories of this time with your son.

No one can say what's going on with your wife, but I'll share this. A little over a year after my wife left the house, she woke up one night in a panic screaming, "What have I done? What have I done?" She cried herself to sleep.

Wow. Thanks for sharing that justthe3ofus

I used white pages and got an address to where my WW might be staying. I am trying to mail her some Plan A things. Or should I just mail it to POSOM place?

I thought she was living with POSOM?
You can always mail it signature required and tell the post office you only want her to sign for it

Jedi's idea is best regarding the mail.

I would include pictures of you and your son. Do you have any recent pictures where the two of you look really happy, and you are looking confident and handsome.

At this point, she not only needs to know that your door is still open--even if it is closing now--but that you are making the most out of your life without her. It would be advantageous for her to see you happy, healthy, confident, and vibrant. Pictures are great because they are natural unlike a situation where you run into her and your negative feelings rush over you and you have to fake it.

Was reading the news and found this article. Although, not MB related thought it was refreshing to see that most people view adultery as the #1 hands down vile thing one person can do to another. http://shine.yahoo.com/love-sex/americans-agree-cheating-worst-thing-anyone-151200103.html

edit: Really want to send this to WW but won't change anything so I won't. I am sure she came across it as it is on Yahoo and when we were together we would read the articles and discuss ones that interest us.