So I was on the radio program today & it went great. It really mad me feel good to hear dr h say that we are heading in the right direction. We have spoken more today & she wants to come home and start the extrordinary precautions and start working on our relationship. We even discussed getting married in the near future aswell. I was pleasantly surprised to hear her say that she would feel much better with a clean start if we moved to possibly to a new city because this house had bad memories and it would really help the process. I'm feeling really good about myself right now and knowing i have been doing the right thing thanks to mb.

Ep's is that emotional needs ?

When discussing EPs, Dr. Harley addresses that the following areas need to change:

A) Blocking all communication with Affair Partners (AP�s)
B) Accounting for all of your time
C) Accounting for all money
D) Spending your leisure time with your wife.

EP�s are put into place to protect your spouse.

Protection = Care

EP�s are also designed to ELIMINATE the opportunity to have a secret second life.

Ok, so let�s talk about two different categories you need to create in your list of EP�s.

The first category is a list of one-time EPs that you will need to make sure you complete quickly.

The second category is a list of EPs that you will follow for a lifetime.

So let�s start with the first category items.

(what follows are SUGGESTIONS, remember this is going to be YOUR list)


A) Change cell phone number and give password & account access to your spouse.
B) Change email account.
C) Eliminate all social networking accounts (i.e., Face book, Classmates, My Space, etc.)
D) Take a polygraph
E) Make a copy of my vehicle keys and any other keys my spouse does not have and give to them (i.e., safe deposit boxes, business keys, storage cabinets/lockers, etc.)
F) List out passwords for all business and personal computer logins, and any other passwords my spouse does not have access to.
G) Give my spouse access to any banking/financial accounts, business and personal.
H) Install software that tracks all internet use, giving my spouse administrative access.
I) Install a webcam/security cameras for while at work that my spouse can access.
...
K) Sell the house/purchase a new one.
L) Sell any vehicle AP was in and replace them.

Some of these things you may have already done. But these are one time things that you set up and they stay this way with little or no maintenance.

Include completed items on this list as well as items still in process on your list.

A) I will protect my spouse and their feelings above all else.
B) I will not participate in any one-on-one meetings with anyone of the opposite sex.
C) I will not discuss my personal marriage issues with anyone of the opposite sex.
D) I will not attend clubs, strip joints, or any such establishment
E) I agree to use POJA as a basis for all decisions.
F) I will be open and honest with my spouse at all times about the past and present.
G) I will provide my spouse a daily schedule of all appointments and contact information.
H) If I need to make an adjustment to my schedule, I will notify my spouse of the change immediately.
I) I will make my spouse�s phone calls my highest priority by answering them or returning them immediately.
J) I will avoid all chat rooms, porn, member sites, etc.
K) I will trade phones with my spouse at any time they request, NO questions asked.
L) I will leave my phone accessible to my spouse at night/or anytime I�m home.
M) I will commit to at least 15 hours of undivided attention with my spouse to meet each other�s ENs every week (time working together does not count toward those 15 hours).
N) If AP finds a way to make contact, I will immediately end the contact and notify my spouse about it immediately after.
O) I will install a keylogger, GPS, or any other tracking system my spouse may request.
P) Anytime I have the thought, �I don�t want my spouse to know about��.�, I will call my spouse immediately and tell them my thoughts.
Q) Anything else my spouse wants as a boundary.

So I was on the radio program today & it went great. It really mad me feel good to hear dr h say that we are heading in the right direction. We have spoken more today & she wants to come home and start the extrordinary precautions and start working on our relationship. We even discussed getting married in the near future aswell. I was pleasantly surprised to hear her say that she would feel much better with a clean start if we moved to possibly to a new city because this house had bad memories and it would really help the process. I'm feeling really good about myself right now and knowing i have been doing the right thing thanks to mb.