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My husband and I have been through alot in the last year and a half. Hes been away at Army Bootcamp for 6 months for the National Guard and followed that with another 3 months at Police Academy. He is pulling away from me and has brought up the thought of divorce. He's been buried in his smart phone, goes for drives "to think" these usually dont last longer than 30 minutes though, he keeps his phone on silent when we are together and wont let me near it. We once had a joint facebook and then he created himself one seperately from me. He now has a lock on his phone and I just don't know where to start. We have not been intimate in any way, shape or form for over 3 months now and I am starting to think there is someone else... what can I do to find out for sure... I want to save my marriage. 
~Just keep swimming~
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Well, he is having an affair. I am so sorry.
How long married? Any kids?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Go and check out the forum here called "Operation Investigate."
You need to snoop and get evidence of your husband's affair. Don't say anything to him yet. For now, be a wonderful wife; and snoop. Get a PI, if you have to.
Also, take care of yourself. Get exercise, eat healthy. Are you losing weight? Are you sleeping?
By the way, traveling jobs are terrible for marriages.
Married 1980
DDay Nov 2010
Recovered thanks to Marriage Builders
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Cherry, you got some great answers already! You can do this. Please listen to what MelodyLane says and others who have used this program successfully.
You can do this.
Answer each poster by clicking reply to each post. Try to stay focused and listen carefully to their instructions.
You can do this.
Last edited by Amigos; 06/04/13 01:06 PM.
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Yes, there is. And she'll be another recruit at the police academy. Very typical, in fact in the first class many supervising officers make the warning statement about this to married officers. I can't count the number of "separated" officers who start their first job.
Exposure (when you get your evidence) is CRITICAL for you. I cannot stress this enough. I have never seen an affair survive exposure in the academy.
(BTW I am very glad to be out of that profession!)
Last edited by alis; 06/04/13 01:14 PM.
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Married 6 years this past may. no kids. Been together for 10.
~Just keep swimming~
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A GPS on the car will probably tell you right away.
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I am eating. I've been excersising, just not enough according to my husban who has gain approx. 20 lbs since academy began. i am sleeping o
k.
~Just keep swimming~
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Part of him having an affair is that he will say very critical things about you. It is his way of justifying what he is doing.
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If it is a recruit at the academy..I'm sure i already know who it is , as i have seen history on the computer with her name all over it. When asked about it he said to me facebook only shows the last site you visited on the history. yeah right.
~Just keep swimming~
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I do not think it is physical. mentally ,emotionally, and most definately through his smart phone.
~Just keep swimming~
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If it is a recruit at the academy..I'm sure i already know who it is , as i have seen history on the computer with her name all over it. When asked about it he said to me facebook only shows the last site you visited on the history. yeah right. Good. Yes it is probably her then. Did you read the link in MelodyLane's signature?
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Keep it up Cherry. Read everything they give you.
You're doing great.
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I do not think it is physical. mentally ,emotionally, and most definately through his smart phone. I hate to tell you this, but it is probably physical.
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My husband has locked his phone with what looks to be at least a 6 digit password. I would like to know if there is a way to unlock it as i know his affair is mostly if not totally using his smartphone. Also,does anyone know if i take his sim card out and put it into another phone whether there will still be a lock on it or will i then have access?
~Just keep swimming~
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Yes Cherry. Unfortunately it most likely is physical.
Even so, you can still do this if you want to.
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If it is a recruit at the academy..I'm sure i already know who it is , as i have seen history on the computer with her name all over it. When asked about it he said to me facebook only shows the last site you visited on the history. yeah right. Cherry, get the evidence! Go download a keylogger on his computer. Get eblaster or spectorpro at spectorsoft.com. And get a GPS on his car. Can you get into his phone? Is it an iphone?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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My husband has locked his phone with what looks to be at least a 6 digit password. I would like to know if there is a way to unlock it as i know his affair is mostly if not totally using his smartphone. Also,does anyone know if i take his sim card out and put it into another phone whether there will still be a lock on it or will i then have access? That's from the Operation Investigate forum. Cherry, it would be best to keep your posts to this one thread for now, so that everybody has all the info on your situation and can best help you. You will get the most help here on the Surviving An Affair forum.
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Cherry, get the evidence! Go download a keylogger on his computer. Get eblaster or spectorpro at spectorsoft.com. And get a GPS on his car. Can you get into his phone? Is it an iphone? Please put your focus into this first. I would also put a VAR in the car. My xWH would also go off for drives and talk with the OW. Between keylogger, GPS & VAR, you will probably get your evidence very soon. Just put one foot in front of the other and we will help you each step of the way. Hang in there.
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I found this: "So What Can You Do? Enter your email address in to the device In the password field enter �null� without the speech marks. You will then be prompted to enter a new pattern and once again you have your phone back in action with all data intact." Source: http://www.matthewhollander.com/locked-out-of-your-android-phone/
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