So she said she wants to go, but wouldn't. Either she was trying to provoke you or she was having an inner struggle. You had an opportunity to help her inner struggle shift to you. What you did was make it shift away from you.

I'm not questioning your right to be upset, but you need to understand that you handled the situation poorly.

I did call the cops and was told I was within my rights to remove anyone I please. No, I don't have anger issues but if you are told to leave than its time to go, if that person does not leave than they will be escorted out. Maybe, I should have left and told her not to be here when I returned? As for the court stuff, yes I already filed. Maybe, I should have put my wife on the lease so that I no longer have the right to remove her if asked to leave, could have been a sign of trust/trying on my part.

There is nothing we can do for you here, and I wish you well.

So because I remove someone from my home I have anger issues? Let me ask you, what would the cops have done with someone who would not leave when told to go? Do they have anger issues also?

We can't help you, RNR.

she said she wanted to go but wasn't leaving. wouldn't leave.
When your wife is crying and says nothing is wrong do you believe her? Good chance you just pushed her to POSOM.

Ok, well thanks for your time.

Your missing the point its not you told her to leave its the way you did it. You did it out of anger of her betrayal plain and simple. You have anger issuers and need help and your wife isn't safe around you not is your marriage. She didn't want to leave and you forced her to what part of the program is that? You have a lot to learn my friend

The biggest winner in that deal is your WIFE. You are lucky you are not in jail tonight.

Well if your wife is just any old "someone" to you, then you really have a warped idea of marriage. You have a right to do that if that someone is threatening your family... I don't see any other reason you would need to drag someone to the door. And newsflash... your wife IS your family. After reading your thread, I see you are not prepared to make ANY changes... so why would you want to recover your marriage? If everything remains the same don't you think that history will repeat itself?

It is tragic that you have lost the support of the veterans here, as you cannot simply acknowledge that you have an anger issue. Again, your actions speak louder than your words... Husbands don't simply drag their wives to the door unless they are angry. You need to apologize to your wife today and take steps to learn how to deal with your emotions particularly anger. I'm not sure that she should come back to live with you unless you get a handle on the anger issue.

Maybe I do have an anger issue. I didn't feel anger at the time? I will try and be more tolerant in the future. I do want to save my marriage but there is only so much I can do. As for the rig, I am still undecided as to how I should proceed with that. If I am going to be single at some point than no way I am giving it up, if not than it is something to consider. If you guys think I have an issue with anger I will look into some form of management.

The rig has to go whether your single or not. Think about your daughter! A job that takes you away from her is devastating to a child. Do you want to be the "never around daddy?" If you are single why keep it? What's more important to you your family or a job? Lot of men fall into this I need to provide but sacrifice quality time trap. Have you read other threads besides your own? Have you read SAA? Lovebusters? Renters, buyers and freeloaders? You need to educate yourself and make radical changes not for your family but for yourself as well.

I'll ask my wife what she wants and I will do that. I love the rig, it's an amazing provider for my family. I have taken a city job which pays 1/6 of what I make in the oil patch. I'll do what my wife wants me to do, I'll put myself aside.

I asked her and she flat out said " No, I don't want you to quit".

Neither of you have learned what Dr. Harley has learned.

You either accept this program is going to make the difference for you and throw yourself into 100% or you'll have to hope you can find something else that makes the difference. I know of no other fully encompassing plan out there.

Business as usual will get you the same results you had before. Independent behavior, anger, disconnection, affairs, etc.

She said no because its what I love to do. Yes, she wants me to quit, she hates being an oil field wife.

She shouldn't be sacrificing. You shouldn't allow her to sacrifice.

#1 priority ... the marriage.
#2 our careers.

She wants you to quit but doesn't want you to resent her for being the reason you quit. Does your employer have office jobs where you live? Could your family move closer to the fields so that you can sleep at home? Can you downgrade your lifestyle so the cut in pay is feasible?

I view this as a hopeless situation.

I think too many of us husbands think that by "providing income" shows we love our wife and family.

Sometimes, it comes down to money or the family....choose one.