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Recovery doesn't require trust on his part.
Yes, it does. Dr. Harley says it doesn't, NeverGuessed.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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You both need to START the program with Lovebusters and its workbook, 5 steps to romantic love. That is the next step. These lovebusters MUST be eliminated. Order the books today.
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I had told BS, that he needed to leave the house - we had been arguing again. Why are you telling him to leave the house? Why don't you guys just take a step back and learn to be there together without fighting? BS, said no, he was not going to leave the house, I threatened to call them and have him charged Was he violent toward you? I would call the cops if he touches you, or seems out of control and you are scared what he might do and you can't get out.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Why did you want him to leave the house?
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We had been arguing, he'd already left - once before and he was starting to get upset again.
FWW, 36
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Why did the cops ask you if you wanted him charged and arrested if he's the one that called them?
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Because they saw the bruises on me.
Also, is the book in the online bookstore "love Busters" the one we are to get or is it something in the "courses and seminars"?
FWW, 36
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Yes, the book in the bookstore is the one. Get 2 copies, one for you and one for him.
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From Wed - when he threw me out (in Canada, you have two weeks to decide, unless an officer sees your situation as life threatening and in that case the offender is charged immediately and consent is not needed)
FWW, 36
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Dr. Harley says that you should file a criminal complaint when your spouse is physically abusive. You should've filed one for wednesday, especially if he left bruises. Did you?
Was he violent when you threatened to call the cops?
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If you have not given him a timeline of the full facts, I would get this written out. Let him read it alone and WRITE out any remaining questions. Don't discuss it in person.
Get this done on HIS timetable, not yours. (As LNG as it is done soon) Are you going to do this?
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If you have not given him a timeline of the full facts, I would get this written out. Let him read it alone and WRITE out any remaining questions. Don't discuss it in person.
Get this done on HIS timetable, not yours. (As LNG as it is done soon) Are you going to do this? Yes, I will work on it tonight
FWW, 36
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mrs_cen, I am really worried that with all of the fighting, you guys are not going to be able to pull this off without professional help. Unless the demands, disrespect, and angry outbursts can completely be eliminated, there is not much hope. It sounds like every time somebody makes a demand, there is an escalating response. You already have bruises on you. I am worried you are going to wind up in the hospital.
Did you guys say you were going to email Dr. Harley? I would strongly suggest it.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Did you tell the police where the bruises came from? Is it now on record what happened?
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mrs_cen, I am really worried that with all of the fighting, you guys are not going to be able to pull this off without professional help. Unless the demands, disrespect, and angry outbursts can completely be eliminated, there is not much hope. It sounds like every time somebody makes a demand, there is an escalating response. You already have bruises on you. I am worried you are going to wind up in the hospital.
Did you guys say you were going to email Dr. Harley? I would strongly suggest it. Also, ask to be callers. Both of you
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Are you being fully transparent with your husband?
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Are you being fully transparent with your husband? Yep. My question too. What EP's have you both put in place to start R? Do you plan to use MB's? If I were your H, no way would I even start to consider R with you unless there was a mutual decision that MB rules are in place so this would never happen again. There seems to be a lot of focus on your H's AO's..rightfully so. He seems to be working on his LB's and trying to fulfill your EN's. However, what are you doing to change YOU? If I were he, I would be very uncomforable. Not wanting him to see your cell phone? Really? okay. This is not a good start.
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mrs_cen, apparently there are some times you are acting upset with your husband when he looks at your cellphone or whatever. Don't do that! Invite him to look at such things any time. This is what it means to be fully transparent.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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There seems to be so many thoughts, opinions, speculations even, that I have NO idea what we (RNR and I) need to do next.
Thus far, I've concluded that he needs to get his AO's under control, that I need to get mine (AO) under control, that fighting will get us no where, that actions (on both sides) speak louder than words. I (we) have read the first suggest book SAA, that we need to get the next suggested book "Love Busters" but where do we start? What's next? Also while you both are working on your Love Busters. Did you you answer ALL his questions about the affair? Did you give him your list of EPs that you were working on? Also: Email your questions to Joyce Harley at mbradio@marriagebuilders.com. When your email question is chosen to be answered on the radio show, you will be notified by email directing you to listen to the rebroadcast. If you would like to consider being a caller, include your telephone number. You will be called by us to explain the procedure to you. Every caller will receive a complementary book by Dr. Harley that addresses their question.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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