Hello, I have a question and a friend of mine said I might get some good insight here. He also said there was someone in this forum that was a RN or similar knowlege/experience?

I've been married 10 years, my first, her second (her previous was 2 years on/off, she says the guy seemed upstanding and mature, turns out he was an alcoholic drug addict who often took prostitutes). She was pretty upfront with her history when we met, said he was unfaithful but she wasn't.

She also told me that he had Hepatitus C and therefor she'd been exposed. I don't know much about the disease, but I think she said it could be dormant for a long time before any symptoms show, and she's never had any symptoms, but has to get checked on an ongoing basis.

I was going through the medical bills the other day to see which need to be paid and saw one from a lab test her gyno had ordered this March. Normally I don't pay much attention, I assume it's all routine and pay the copay, but this one caught my eye because of the other test listed, it said "HPV High Risk". HPV scares the cr@p out of me because a guy can get throat cancer, among other things, from it.

I am going to ask her about it, but wanted some opinions on this -- my memory isn't perfect, but I don't recall her mentioning anything about HPV before we married. Even so, assuming her ex had HPV and exposed her to it and she hasn't manifested it, is there still a risk this far out that it could activate (like the Hep C has a risk of)? Or do I need to ask why her gyno thinks she's "High Risk" for HPV?

I'm hping this is just routine, but kind of scared of the alternative! Can someone here give me some insight?

Welcome to MB, SH.

I'm wondering why you've posted this question in a forum called Surviving an Affair. Do you suspect an affair in your marriage?

I don't know, that's the alternative I'm hoping isn't true...

HPV is everywhere. The infection rate is somewhere in the neighborhood of 60-80 percent of the poulation. Most people have it and never know. Most men in particular never have any symptoms.

High risk HPV is a group of strains that are the cancer causing kind. Still, most of those also get cleared without you knowing it.

Many women will get an "abnormal" papsmear and then get hpv testing done to see if that is the issue.

It is possible that this is all innocent. Also possible that she had an affair obviously. If the high risk HPV comes up positive then the following need to be observed
-no oral sex
-ALWAYS wear condoms
She would get repeat pap/hpv testing more regularly until her body clears it.

My fww received that gift from POSOM. It sucks. Our intamacy isn't what it should be. Instead of having cuddle time after sex you have to clean up and wash to limit your chance of getting it (even though you could already have it. There is no HPV test for men).

What snooping techniques do you have in place?

Have you been tested for STDs?

I don't have any snooping in place, not sure I need them (I don't see any strange behavior with her now, although in the past I've seen some things that concerned me. Her only explanation now about those times was she "wasn't herself back then"). But what do you recommend?

I haven't been tested recently, although if it looks like I should be concerned now, I certainly will! Last test was 3-4 years ago...after the strange behaviors she had back then. But klovelisterner said there weren't any HPV tests for men, which maybe explains why my Dr wouldn't do one back then. He did everything else. Results were positiv for HSV 1&2 which I contracted just a few months into the marriage, she said she didn't know she had it (hadn't had any outbreaks) but had to have caught it from H#1.

What does she use?

A computer? Does she have a smartphone?

I would install a keylogger.

Keylogger Programs

Wow, that thread is 4 years long! How much of that tech is still viable?

Yes, she has a computer, tablet, smart phone, work computer (which I couldn't get to if I wanted), uses all of them. Not sure which I should even keylog. she does spend a lot of time on them (so do I), she says she wants to spend more time together, so we're working on that.

What are the best keyloggers to use for iPad and Android? Windows Vista/7?

Those are still good.

For my WH's android I used mobistealth.

You need to read this and be the best husband you can be while you're James Bond.

Can you do this?

HPV testing is quite routine these days, and testing for the "high risk" types is the most effective. Much better than Pap testing alone. Since the infection can be asymptomatic and cause no problems for years, yes, even decades, screening someone with your wife's history seems high;y likely to be routine. Even if positive, it's in no way indicative of an affair in a 10 year marriage.

I don't post much on this board, usually lurk and learn, but I worked in public health STD testing for almost 25 years.

Read the last few pages of the keylogger thread I posted to you.

There's updated information in there.

Like this.

It would be wise to snoop once in awhile even if it is to catch dangerous relationships before they develop into affairs.

Also Get some of Dr Harleys books like love busters and his needs her needs. Even if there is no affair they will strengthen your marriage. You want to have an affair proof marriage. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

Well, she does kind of have weak boundaries, so that sounds like good advice in general.

I have to say that Drizzelle's post has somewhat set my mind at ease regarding this being routine. I'm still going to ask her about it, particularly the result of that test (as someone who is having sex with her, I think I have a right to know, right?), but if it's possible she contracted it with H#1 and reasonable that it could show up now, that's good enough for me.

I've read two of those books and have been reading a lot on this site today, and like the idea of affair-proofing the marriage. Best not to go there in the first place, right?

Thanks again.

Yes HPV can lie dormant for a few years and there is no blood test. Besides an outbreak it can show up in a woman's abnormal pap.

Usually it can't be spread unless there is skin contact from someone who has an outbreak, but there are different "kinds" of HPV