My wife, who is also mother of my thirteen year old is in jail for one year for forgery charges. I am willing to stick by her and not leave her because I feel She made some stupid mistakes but it was out of character so I think she just got herself into a bad situation and make some poor decisions, She also never did anything bad at all before this And I am not defending her or saying she should not serve her punishment.. Also, her mother is showing regret and no defense at what she did . I also will allow my child to visit and have her still be involved with her child because she was never an absent or abusive parent or anything. However, some people might feel it is wrong for me to do so and I am irresponsible for doing this,
again though I want to make it clear I am not saying she did no wrong and should not serve her punishment.

My daughter seems to be taking it all right , she said it is kind of cool that her mother is locked up and is now the one being ordered around by others. This is weird because she never had a bad relationship with her mother. I asked what she meant and she said she was just joking. I think that is OK to try to crack a joke to make the situation feel less bad and that a better way of handing the situation instead of being hysterical about it. But I think she is also definitely thinking "since my mom went to jail I never have to listen to her and she has no right to tell me what to do". I can understand that line of thinking but I don't know if it is really good for her to have.

1924, I am not a source of expert advise here but I do want to say that I think it is very nobel of you to stick by your wife. I am glad you allow contact with your daughter.

My two cents would be to make sure your daughter is aware she is not to disrespect her mother. Just as your daughter has rules that are enforced by you as parent, mom has rules that are enforced by government. Rules are a part of life and if you don't learn that growing up, bigger problems are in store.

You should still be a team with your wife as parents. If mom lays down a rule, she is still expected to comply. The united front, using the POJA, is crucial during the teenage years when they are pressing boundaries. If she sees she can disregard moms rules because mom broke a rule it may be setting up a bad path to manipulation.

Again, I'm not an expert on this program, but I believe it works if both spouses are willing to use every piece of it. Please default to the advice from the experts on here.

So what happened the last 3 months when you asked the same question?

Did you ever take her to visit?
1924's Thread

I would talk to a family therapist about how to handle this.
Also does your wife take responsibility for what she has done?

I would say so. She doesn't defend or blame others for what she did.


I don't like the idea of seeing therapists. I'm not that type of person.

1924, it is not good for parents to demonstrate poor role modeling for this very reason. Your daughter no longer respects her and takes her seriously as an authority figure. We see this quite often when parents commit adultery. Their teenagers say things like this and feel like they are being hypocrites when they try to discipline them.

That is a job hazard of poor role modeling. Your DD should not be allowed to disrespect her mother, but don't expect her to have much respect for her.

p.s. I don't see why you would need a therapist either. This is just parenting 101. Tell her she does have to treat her mother with respect regardless of her feelings.

And her mother will have to EARN back her respect. What she did is pathetic.