I don't understand how that would work, it's not voice activated so you would turn the recording function on and put it under the seat and hope that he goes out for a drive soon? How long does your phone record for?

My husband told me and I got home he was going for a drive so I put it under the seat and pressed record. I'm not sure the maximum recording time but it got over 30minutes. ill just be like hold on I gotta get something from the car when he gets home or before he leaves etc. the only thing to be aware of is the screen never turns off so make sure to turn the brightness down first. also turn everything silent even the tone when your phone turns off or dies. the other hitch is if you believe a call while its recording whether its on silent or not...it will stop the recording.

Can you buy a VAR soon?

Ok my first hurdle is done. My mother sent me 100.00 via moneygram. I now have the money to get 2 VAR's, one for the car and one for the house. The model I am going to try and get is a ISony digtal voice recorder model #ICDBX132 I have checked Best buy. online and in store they have them on sale for 31.99. It has excellent reviews and voice stabilization as well as noise reduction. however it does run on batteries and cannot be connected to the computer. but you can cut and edit to create more room. you guys are the experts please let me know if this one is a good investment...it is the only one I have found that shows any promise in about a week. thanks

I don't have personal experience with this brand, but it sounds good.

When will you be able to put them in place?

They are in place as of last night. one in the car under the drivers seat (velcroed ) and the other one attached to the back of the drawer in our side table in the living room. I do not think he will find them but if he does I already have a reason lined up to tell him why they are there. he has brought up feeling depressed after bootcamp and told me he has considered killing himself. if he asks they are to make sure he's not planning to hurt himself.

Cherry told me she heard WH talking to a woman, "Hey Gorgeous, how was your day?" Now she has heard him plan to lie and say he's meeting up with friends but actually come see OW. He also said he is going to say he made $300 this weekend when he actually made $1000, so he's putting away $.

Cherry isn't sure she wants the marriage at all now. How can she protect herself? I'm pretty sure the house and the one car are in her name. She has opened a separate account already, and she has mentioned that she can survive on her own salary.

What is your advice?

She also heard him say, "Alright sweetie, I love you. Have a great day."

Amigos, thanks for updating us. I had a bad feeling that Cherry was going to hear things she didn't want to hear. I would suggest that she read this post here from our "Notable Posts" Thread For Newly Betrayed Spouses

She needs to find out who the POSOW is to expose. Exposure 101

She should also speak to an attorney.

She knows who the OW is. She wants to expose, pack up his things, change the locks, and file for divorce all on the same day.

Is this doable? Can she put him out legally before a divorce is filed? He is a cop in a small town, and she is very concerned that he could turn things around on her if she doesn't do it right.

She has been scared of him before because he has been emotionally and verbally abusive. She has gone and filed a complaint on him recently. Can she file a restraining order on the same day as well?

PrincessMeggy? Anyone who knows the law?

He is meeting the OW this weekend (told her he was meeting up with friends), so she'd like to do it this weekend.

I would strongly urge her to speak to a lawyer about her rights ASAP. I know in my state (NY) it is not illegal to change my locks, however I was told that I could not keep my WH out of the marital home (we both owned the home). This may be different since she owns the home.

She is super short on cash. What do people do when they need to divorce and have to hire a lawyer with no cash?

She had to borrow money to buy two $30 VARs....

Some lawyers will give a free consultation. She can and should consult with one first. She doesn't necessarily have to file just because she goes to see one.

Edit: PS. She should talk to a couple of lawyers before she chooses one.

I'm not surprised to hear that, I was pretty sure he was falling for the typical academy affair.

It is generally legal for a spouse to change the locks - the trick is that legally he can change them back (it's his house, he can do what he wants). Now, that will likely result in a domestic dispute anyways. While it IS possible that his buddies would show up to this - the flip side is that most cops will try and avoid the police in these situations so that they are not embarassed at work.

If OW is who I bet it is (another girl at the academy), she can hit exposure VERY effectively. Cherry should be carrying a VAR with her at all times and she can also contact a domestic violence shelter for assistance if she fears abuse. He is probably carrying a weapon at all times and of course trained in physical defense so she should try and stay safe right.

Cherry, if you know who the POSOW is, I would make your plan to do a nuclear exposure. This weekend would be good since they will be together.

Thank you guys for your interest in my topic... and thank you for all your help. I have created an account for myself... not much in there, and I am worried about being able to afford things on my own... this is why I want the services of an attorney. I want to make sure I get alimony. I thought that the infidelity proof would be enough but heard from an attorney today that the state of ks does not recognize infidelity as a reason for divorce. Also I cant afford the retainer fee..(the lowest I've found is $1,000.00) I am currently applying for assistance with this but they said it could take up to 3 weeks. I have applied for a credit card to hopefully help with costs and then make him pay the legal fees back in the divorce. I spoke to my landlord. BOTH of our names were on the lease sooo we are terminating the lease that is in both of our names and re drawing one in just mine. The car I am worried about too. Everyone is telling me not to confront him myself and let the lawyer serve him. I don't know what to do next?!

I do not own I rent.

not this weekend next weekend.

That would be an illegal eviction if lease terminated and re-written without his knowledge and then removing him.