I apologize in advance if this is long but I need you all to understand everything as a whole.
So I met my DH when I was very young he has 18 years on me. He had issues from the beginning but then so did I because I was suffering with major depression ( still am) so I couldn't judge him for his drinking. So a year or two of dating ( by this time he got help for his drinking because of me partly I believe) I move in with him. However he owns a house with his parents so he has always been with them ( his income pays half the mortgage so there's no leaving unless they sell or pay off this place).

I knew that situation but I was in love and wanted to be with him whatever way I could. He has always had this my family comes first mentality it's like they have him brain washed or something especially his mom. Everytime I mentioned going out of town right away he wanted t

I knew that situation but I was in love and wanted to be with him whatever way I could. He has always had this my family comes first mentality it's like they have him brain washed or something especially his mom. Everytime I mentioned going out of town right away he wanted to bring his family. It was like we couldn't be alone like a normal couple. His mother waited on him and foot (all 3 of them 2 brothers 1 sister) when they were younger and up the husband too. He cant even cook an egg she has enabled him terribly. I should mention he is Mexican because he always refers to his family's way of doing things its because they are Mexican etc etc.

His sister and mother were so used to him giving them all of his attention and money before I came along and of course when they realized I wasn't going anywhere that ensued an immediate dislike towards me even though its never been officially stated. With me saying all this about him let me say too why I fell in love with him. I had 2 children from previous relationships (different fathers) my first born has the father in his/her (don't want to be too detailed) life fortunately, but my second child did not. My DH immediately loved my children from the start especially my second born (who was still a baby). So much in fact that he adopted my second born. He does whatever he can for my children and my second born knows only my DH as the dad. I was also drinking pretty heavy myself a little before we met and I was careless with myself and guys and ended up pregnant again. A third child was not an option so I was looking into adoption. My DH at the time knew of the pregnancy and my children and STILL wanted to be with me anyway it was SHOCKING because there are NO guys I know of who would want into my situation. He suggested his sister take the baby as she couldn't have kids of her own. After meeting her I decided why not at least I know the baby will be loved and taken care of (which is still true to this day, but the sister is very two faced when it comes to people). So all those things him accepting me with all of my issues and such made me fall hard.

We have been together 6 years now and in the 5th year I decided to give him a child of his very own (for the first time ever for him) and he agreed. The only thing is he was not feeling marriage at all which at first pissed me off but I eventually let it go and decided to give him time. So suddenly before the baby I due (and I mean like a week before) he wants to get married RIGHT away. I told him I didn't want a shotgun wedding (married only because you got a baby on the way), but he insisted it wasn't the reason so I agreed. I still feel though to this day (my baby is 4 months now) that it was indeed his family's influence him doing that SO out of the blue. He has this mentality of if his family approves something then its the way it should be done, or is they disapprove then its not right. there is no leeway with him. lately im at my wits end with this way of thinking because it now involves my baby. I feel that a badass little (barely 2) year old should NOT be playing with my baby like its a damn toy. The family thinks its cute of course I want to rip some heads off. I asked about a million times to not let that happen but he wouldn't listen until I went off in front of everyone. Not enough to argue but enough to say im not playing about the situation.

This happened yesterday and he gets mad at me once again because im offending his family everyone's feelings are hurt yet again. Every god damn thing is so offensive to him and his family and im sick of it. Its common since to protect your baby especially when its not even HALF a year old come on! I told him I want to see a marriage counselor, but I believe he thinks im saying it out of anger. But honestly when there is a problem he is having I listen and give feedback I genuinely care but when I want to talk about something or when we have a problem we need to discuss involving our relationship he wants to go to sleep and not talk about it, or it always end in an argument because he cant have a discussion without screaming. I feel like he doesn't like me honestly I feel like if it wasn't for the kids he would tell me to leave (hes done it before but claims it was only out of anger and not to really leave) but after hearing it so many times before im just walking on eggshells here waiting for him to tell me how he really feels. Bad thing is I have no job so I have no way to support myself or my kids. I would gladly leave and stay in a shelter but im trying to stick it out because I don't want my kids in there. my depression is back full blown and I just really hope the counseling will help because I don't know how I can keep living like this if he doesn't change. Im not perfect by a long shot but at least I don't put my family in our business and I do try to be a loving wife and mother, but its like he doesn't think of us as a us its him and his family and me and my kids, hurts a lot. This was way longer than I intended sorry for that just getting this out helps a bit even if I don't get a response its fine

Hi Cleite, welcome to Marriage Builders. This program could solve all of your problems if you could persuade your husband to follow it. It would be in his best interest to follow it too, because decisions would be made mutually, instead of unilaterally. I would start by reading the links in the first thread in this forum. Come back and lets discuss.

I would especially focus on this one: How to Create Your Own Plan to Resolve Conflicts and Restore Love to Your Marriage