Hey everyone. I haven't heard anything from her lately. Today she sends a message that's says she really wants to pick some things up from the house. I told her that we really need to talk about what has happened to us and put divorce a side for now. She says OK.. I'm shocked.. She actually agreed to have a conversation. I'm not even sure how to take this? I have thought to myself what I would tell her when I get the chance.now I don't even remember. I feel nervous. I'm not sure how to approach her. Should I ask her about an affair again? I still have nothing for proof? Man, I was feeling great the last week or so and now all these emotions are flooding back. She did state that she's not sure what to say to me and reminded me that she doesn't feel the type of love she needs to be married to me.
BB,
I'd think long and hard about wanting to reconcile with your wife, since you've only been married a short time, and no kids. It is really hard to recover from an affair, and that's even when both spouses are working on it.
I'm not ignoring the fact that you said that you'd probably regret at least not trying, so if you insist on going down that road,
I wouldn't do it unless your wife agrees to take a polygraph to prove whether or not she was in an affair, and this would have to be a condition met before taking her back. Please remember, that ALL waywards lie, so whatever she tells you in this "meeting", you cannot trust what she says. If she has nothing to hide, she will agree with this condition. If she is a "buyer", she will do whatever it takes to move forward with you.
So, I wouldn't even ask her if she's having an affair. I would just insist on the poly for your piece of mind, You can also tell her that if she passes the poly, you also have a plan, from a well known psychologist, that will make her fall in love with you, again. I'm assuming she was in love with you when you married. Don't listen to any "history re-writing" when you talk to her. All waywards rewrite history to justify their affairs.
Also in this meeting, IF she is agreeable to the poly, I would insist on extraordinary precautions be put in place by her to protect yourself from any future affairs.
If you're still wondering whether or not your wife is in an affair, please remember this..... The exact same things that your wife has said, and the actions she has taken, all the way down to the " she doesn't feel the type of love she needs to be married to me" comments, are the same things that cheaters do and say all the time. It's like they all follow the same script, eerily so. Once you've seen it over and over again on these boards, you can spot an affair a mile away.
Getting to the entire truth is absolutely necessary if there is ever to be true reconciliation.
Oh, and I would get tested for stds, and definitely advise against thinking about having children anytime soon.
