|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
She is fully head over heels in love with this guy. The things she said to him I have never gotten from her. I don't think this is a fog she is going to come out of....this is how she feels and doesn't feel this way about me and never will. It is very clear to me now that I need to move on...this relationship is over. The relationship is not over at all. What you said here applies to about 99% of affairs and most of them end up in recovered marriages. This is a garden variety affair we see here every day.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 9
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 9 |
I understand that but she has been telling me for at least 4 or 5 years that she isn't in love with me but does love me and wants to spend her life with me. She has also said that she doesn't know if she has ever really been "in love" with me. Now, this ex comes back into her life and she is feeling in love. This seems different because before she kept everything quiet to friends and family but now she is telling everyone.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,820 Likes: 7
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,820 Likes: 7 |
I understand that but she has been telling me for at least 4 or 5 years that she isn't in love with me but does love me and wants to spend her life with me. And we understand that and it happens all the time and it doesn't mean that your marriage can't be saved, because it happens all the time even in marriages that are saved.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,820 Likes: 7
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,820 Likes: 7 |
I guess that is my problem. I don't know if I want to. My head is telling me that she detached 6 years ago and I am wasting my time. If she doesn't know by now whether she wants to be with me, will she ever? My heart however is telling me that I still love her and need to do whatever I can to save this marriage. My gut is telling me it is beyond saving. I'm so confused and lost I don't know where to start. You don't have to save this if you don't want to, but we see marriages just like this saved all the time using the plans on this site, and we can help you save it if you want. Given that you have two underage children, I would definitely encourage you to try to save this. Marriage Builders has the recipe for winning back a detached wife.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,820 Likes: 7
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,820 Likes: 7 |
Regardless of your decision on whether or not to try to save the marriage, you should still expose the affair. Your children need to know the truth. Your families need to know the truth. YOU need people around you to know the truth so you can get the support you need.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 9
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 9 |
I spoke to the investigating officer at one of the departments he has applied. She said that his actions are not that of someone they want working for them and he is at a stage in the hiring process where she can disqualify him without giving a reason. She is also going to contact the neighboring department and let them know what is going on.
She did confirm that they ask for all previous relationships but when she looked at his application, he only listed my wife's name and said he didn't have any other contact info. I let her know he is also a liar because they have been in constant contact for two weeks now. I am waiting for a call back on one of the other departments I know he has applied at. I may not be able to keep him getting hired completely but at least I can make his life more difficult.
I am drawing up the petition for divorce and am going to give her two weeks to file after she gets back. If she doesn't, I will present her with the paperwork and have her sign it. I have had no contact with her for several days now. It helps but I still have my moments where the pain is unbearable.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,481 Likes: 6
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,481 Likes: 6 |
Have you exposed? Have you told your children?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
0 members (),
153
guests, and
41
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,661
Posts2,323,621
Members72,372
| |
Most Online9,682
May 13th, 2026
|
|
|
|
