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I have an appt with my attorney early next week. I will plan b him Monday. Won't be hard. He texted and tried to call her again yesterday. It's sad the shell of a man he has become but I can't help him at all. Have you asked him to move out? You need to separate FIRST before you can go into Plan B. So sorry you are dealing with this. 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Or should I wait to plan b until he is served so he can't withdraw the thousands he has stashed in a private bank account?
Me: BW 33
Kids 11, 8, 6, 18 months
DDay 1/22/13
Plan B 6/21/13 long overdue
broke Plan B august 2013, my mistake
Divorce 6/30/14
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Or should I wait to plan b until he is served so he can't withdraw the thousands he has stashed in a private bank account? He has a private bank account?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Thanks for your concern, melody. Yes he does have a private account plus lots of cash. I do know the account number and had online access until he changed the password. Ironically we just lately discussed how his independent behavior has always been a love buster in our marriage.
Me: BW 33
Kids 11, 8, 6, 18 months
DDay 1/22/13
Plan B 6/21/13 long overdue
broke Plan B august 2013, my mistake
Divorce 6/30/14
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Thanks for your concern, melody. Yes he does have a private account plus lots of cash. I do know the account number and had online access until he changed the password. Ironically we just lately discussed how his independent behavior has always been a love buster in our marriage. You don't have access to it anyway, so I don't see how waiting to have him served will make a difference.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Ok that's kind of what I thought.
Me: BW 33
Kids 11, 8, 6, 18 months
DDay 1/22/13
Plan B 6/21/13 long overdue
broke Plan B august 2013, my mistake
Divorce 6/30/14
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So is the recommended order- kick him out, then plan b, then file? Is there a good time frame between those?
Me: BW 33
Kids 11, 8, 6, 18 months
DDay 1/22/13
Plan B 6/21/13 long overdue
broke Plan B august 2013, my mistake
Divorce 6/30/14
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So is the recommended order- kick him out, then plan b, then file? Is there a good time frame between those? Just separate FIRST and then worry about the rest.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Well just found out he told OW he is having me served Monday. Tonight I will get his debit card and checks. Tomorrow morning I'm moving assets - horses, pickup, trailers; getting locks changed. When he returns from work his stuff will be on the driveway, he will have to tell the kids why he is serving me (I will talk to them beforehand). Then he will have to leave. I'm not telling him anything beforehand.
Me: BW 33
Kids 11, 8, 6, 18 months
DDay 1/22/13
Plan B 6/21/13 long overdue
broke Plan B august 2013, my mistake
Divorce 6/30/14
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I doubt he is having you served. Just stick to your plan and ask him to leave.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Yup sticking to the plan.
Me: BW 33
Kids 11, 8, 6, 18 months
DDay 1/22/13
Plan B 6/21/13 long overdue
broke Plan B august 2013, my mistake
Divorce 6/30/14
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"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Talked to 2attorneys today. One said not to change locks or move assets because it would look bad in the divorce, so just take pictures. Other said ummm, it should be fine to move things as long as I don't sell them. Advice?
Me: BW 33
Kids 11, 8, 6, 18 months
DDay 1/22/13
Plan B 6/21/13 long overdue
broke Plan B august 2013, my mistake
Divorce 6/30/14
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You know what the advice will be. Just get it done! That man is abusing you by continuing to put you through this... He clearly cares only for himself. Follow thru Megz.
Me BW: 30
WH: 33
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Talked to 2attorneys today. One said not to change locks or move assets because it would look bad in the divorce, so just take pictures. Other said ummm, it should be fine to move things as long as I don't sell them. Advice? Megz, I would pack his bags and ask him to leave. And THEN change the locks. Don't worry about it looking bad in court.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Posts: 20,474 Likes: 5
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Talked to 2attorneys today. One said not to change locks or move assets because it would look bad in the divorce, so just take pictures. Other said ummm, it should be fine to move things as long as I don't sell them. Advice? Megz, I would pack his bags and ask him to leave. And THEN change the locks. Don't worry about it looking bad in court. When can you do this Megz?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Everything done! Changed locks and packed his stuff this morning. He came home about 1. I was also just pulling in with the kids. I didn't think the conversation went very well. But the first text I got was classic! How can we work this out when you won't talk to me?
I am getting a new phone number on a different account, just haven't been able to get to town yet. So just ignoring him and forwarding to the mediator.
Me: BW 33
Kids 11, 8, 6, 18 months
DDay 1/22/13
Plan B 6/21/13 long overdue
broke Plan B august 2013, my mistake
Divorce 6/30/14
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,474 Likes: 5
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Everything done! Changed locks and packed his stuff this morning. He came home about 1. I was also just pulling in with the kids. I didn't think the conversation went very well. But the first text I got was classic! How can we work this out when you won't talk to me?
I am getting a new phone number on a different account, just haven't been able to get to town yet. So just ignoring him and forwarding to the mediator. Good job Megz. Did you give him a Plan B letter?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Thanks brain hurts! I did give him a letter but I think it ended up kind of rambling. 
Last edited by Megz; 06/21/13 05:58 PM.
Me: BW 33
Kids 11, 8, 6, 18 months
DDay 1/22/13
Plan B 6/21/13 long overdue
broke Plan B august 2013, my mistake
Divorce 6/30/14
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,474 Likes: 5
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Thanks brain hurts! I did give him a letter but I think it ended up kind of rambling. Did you follow the Plan B letter templates from here?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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