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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
She is moving into our basement as I speak. But long term I need her out of the house. Why move into the basement AT ALL when she is going to have to move out? If she is moving down there, then she will be distracted from moving out... She needs to move OUT, not to another room in the house. Moving into the basement is only kicking the can down the road and enabling her.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
She is moving into our basement as I speak. But long term I need her out of the house. Start by asking her to move out now. Offer to help her pack. That is your first step. Moving into the basement is a distraction. It is like trimming your toe nails when your arm is broken. That is cute and winsome to do, but it doesn't address the problem.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352 |
Moving into the basement is a distraction...it doesn't address the problem.
I would think WW has no ability to acquire a separate living space, Mel, which is NOT necessarily a bad thing. (There ain't nothing worse to "correct" than a WW with an independent source of income, however meager.)
My suggestion would be to let her move into the basement, get nice and comfy in her new "BE-free" environment...and then one day go down there with a group of colleagues, remove all the furniture, and put it all in a storage facility!
But that's just me....
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
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Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Moving into the basement is a distraction...it doesn't address the problem.
I would think WW has no ability to acquire a separate living space, Mel, which is NOT necessarily a bad thing. (There ain't nothing worse to "correct" than a WW with an independent source of income, however meager.)
My suggestion would be to let her move into the basement, get nice and comfy in her new "BE-free" environment...and then one day go down there with a group of colleagues, remove all the furniture, and put it all in a storage facility!
But that's just me....  The move into the basement measure is another conflict avoidance tactic. The WW proclaims herself as "separated" and then openly and flagrantly cats around. She doesn't even bother to cover it up anymore. In this case, he has been in Plan A for FOUR YEARS. There is nothing here to save. The only reason they are still together is because he is her personal ATM.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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