Hi all
thanks. Well exposed affair on both sides and she called me to try to make out that husband wanted to leave etc and spun a lot of lies that I could verify from emails etc. She also got her brother to call me and threaten me with"elimination" if I dont stop exposing this or continue.

Husband has issued letter to her ending everything and asking for cessation of contact with any of us.

However went back to session with MC and she advised that she couldnt work with him at moment as he has much more serious issues in her opinion that require more in dept assessment and intervention. He has been referred to a psychologist for assessment and treatment. In the meantime any effort re marriage is on hold and he remains living with his parents.

He has categorically stated that he wants to make our marriage work, has been remorseful and is trying to do all in his power to make amends etc. The MC is concerned that as we are apart he is without sex and stated that she has concerns about him reverting back to old behaviour. Under the circumstances she doesnt think its a good idea to live together, I agree with her. I wouldnt be comfortable with it and I have found the last few months to be calmer and more peaceful at home. I am enjoying the space.

I honestly dont know if I could ever trust living with him again, the ups and downs, moods etc and at the moment couldnt even contemplate sleeping with him.

He has asked that I wait to make any decision and let him go through this process with a psychologist, but its a big ask.

He has been very transparent and given all the details etc, gone a bit to the extreme, I think in trying to be honest and save what is left. I suppose though for me, the therapist has said that he is very clever at lying and manipulation so I dont know if I am being played here and whats authentic.

He is going overboard with letters, emails, compliments etc, I think he is spending a lot of time online looking at tactics to restore trust and some sort of connection. I know he wants to sleep with me however I am psychologically unable to go there.

Part of me feels that if I decided to wait around, I would be selling myself and my daughter short, we deserve better than all this. Then there is the part that is still attached to him, it clearly doesnt go away overnight and despite affair etc.