Currently separated from my wife. since 5/27

I want it and will go to any lengths to save our marriage and family (3 kids-2 sons & daughter: 16, 14, 7) She says "she's not coming back. No reconciliation this time." (Last time was '07) She told me yesterday, "The greatest act of love that you could demonstrate toward me is to release me" <--what exactly does that mean in womanspeak?

What do I do?
*does it mean anything that she still wears her wedding band?

-Afraid

Hi, thhawk.

This "Divorcing/divorced" part of the board is not a good place to post if you still want your marriage. Click "notify" and get your thread moved over to the "surviving an affair" section of the board, and you will get lots of attention and help.

There is an extremely high likelihood that your wife is having an affair. Most women don't say things like that unless they have someone else, a new point of comparison.

With this knowledge, you can disrupt the affair and have the chance to win your wife back.

Here are some educational materials you need to take a look at:

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi1001_infidelity0.html
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/mb3.cfm?recno=3

Absolutely certain that it's not an affair.

How are you certain? Have you had PI following her for some period of time?

Most of the time a spouse wants a separation or D, it is because they have someone waiting in the wings. That has been Dr Harley's experience and we see it over and over and over again here on the forums.

We, on the forum, ALSO see people completely denying there is any affair, to only come back and tell us that we were right and they were wrong, over and over and over again.

That means she wants you to be the one to file for divorce. Why does she want it this way? Usually wives are the ones that make the first move. A wife asks the husband to make the first move when she does not want to be seen as the one that broke up the marriage; when she wants to be able to say 'he wanted this'.

I'm sorry to tell you that it means she has someone else. They are waiting for the divorce to go public with their 'new' relationship.

Snoop.
Snoop deeeeeep.

Do not be certain there is no affair to deal with.

Listen to us and do not be so very sure.

There's no affair. I'm telling you, there's no affair.

How do you know?

That is exactly what I thought....too bad I was dead wrong.

What would your W say are the main problems that caused her to fall out of love with you?

Do you have LB's? HNHN's?


Do you know what her top EN's are?

What LB's are in your vernacular?

These are the questions you must start with to answer if you want to save your M.

Okay, so did you hit notify and ask the moderators to move your thread to another part of the board where you can get some more attention and help than you will get here?

Did you view the video and read the articles I gave you links to?

If you will start doing these things, we can help you walk through the steps to turn this around, as many of us have done.

If you don't want to move your thread to the "surviving an affair" section, ask the moderators to move it to the "Marriage Builders 101" section. There is not as much attention in this section where you have posted, so you will not get much help - this section is not for people whose spouses are divorcing them and who want to save their marriage. SAA and MB101 are the sections to save your marriage.

Even if there is no affair, the SAA section is still a good spot to go.

Please check out the links I have given you. You need to get educated.