Definitely adding up. If she isn't having an affair then hmmmm

Let us know what you hear on the VAR. Next time you have a look at her phone, take it.

Yes it's very possible that she is having or trying
To start an affair

Something smells fishy to me too. Remember, trust but verify!!! We all know that affairs can get even the most spiritual person if they are not protecting themself.

Got the VAR. There was 6 hours worth. Many calls...didn't hear anything related to OM. I hear several conversations with MIL and girlfriends where she bad mouths me pretty intensely. She claims I'm "crazy" in several conversations. She has no intentions of wanting to settle out of court. She wants $ under the guise of child support. I support my children very well...everyone knows that. She spoke of the gift I gave to stylist. She ridiculed the greeting card, to their ooohs and aaahs she said "you all are having the reaction he wanted me to have"...then telling all the other women to who she read it "glad you were impressed, because I wasn't". It's very hard to listen to the heart and thoughts of a women I love so dearly, become so cold. Today is our 13th Anniversary. I'm a MESS!

Sorry DNT.

I'm sorry, DNT.

One of the big problems of love bank deposits to someone where you have a negative love bank balance is that they often react negatively. So, you might have moved from a balance of 200 in the hole to 100 in the hole and the reaction still be negative because her feeling is still "hate" or "dislike." BUT, it's still a deposit.

I'm sorry, DNT. I know how painful this must be for toy now. Hang in there!!!

Should I buy time? My attorney says we could buy time if she refers another attorney to the case. Honestly, I am not sure it's worth it. I'd almost rather go through with it all and attempt win her back on the other side of the process. As it's been stated, co-parenting may facilitate the possibility.

In addition to my question above. Any other suggestions on investigating the possible EA? All I have is the "Just Because" Edible Arrangement bouquet and chocolate covered strawberries that were delivered to the bosses HOME address. A couple of confidants have stated "I think you have all you need" when combined with other clues. I don't think I have enough. Am I right? The gift could be explained away. I need proof of communication. Which I doubt I'd ever get without access to the work laptop or STEALING her iPhone.

BTW...our communication is improving and we are seeing each other more often. Today is our DD 2nd birthday. We'll see each other quite a bit this weekend for her parties.

The gift to the boss appears to be a false alarm. While having dinner at her place with the she and the kiddos she volunteers that her director had been soliciting prayer. It turns out he's been very sick and out of the office for over two weeks. She mentioned her and people from the office had been sending gifts to lift his spirits as he is order on home rest. Apparently his kidneys are in danger of failing. Anywho... thought I would give that update of good news. September 12 court date is quickly approaching and I have decided to terminate counsel and request more time. Hopefully it is granted and delayed as long as possible. We've been interacting on MUCH better terms, but no mention of changing course. Pray for me!

How is she reacting to you? Letting you make LB$?

I've steered away from LB's. She's been reacting less guarded and talking to me freely. She's been positive. I can feel the anger dissipating. All of the conversations I heard on the VAR she actually had with me (save the insults)...that was weird but refreshing.

BH what exactly what you trying to discern from your question? I'm curious..

I'm wondering if she isn't having an affair and if she seems to be opening her LB to you, that is a good sign.

I think she is. She just called me JUST to share a "funny story" about DS5. We laughed and hung up the phone. On yesterday when I took the kids back we all sat on the floor and had "family time" with the kiddos. Everything is focused on them. I guess that's the way it should be given the circumstances. It's nice but frustrating. 10 days and counting till the next court appearance. Wish she would just drop it all.

Can you stall or extend it out?

I have yet to hear back from my attorney who said it's likely the judge will grant a continuance for a later date if I switch counsel....which my attorney says she is willing to do. I usually get a prompt response. Errr!

So here we are...after she sent me an email at 9:45am today to consider attending my Friday counseling session with me.

From: W
To: boss, 2 female coworkers, W of �family� friends, my MIL
Sent: Wednesday, September 4, 2013 2:18 PM
Subject: It's Prayer Time!

Hello Ladies,

First, I just want to tell you how grateful I am to have your support. It means more than you know. Believe it or not, it has been almost 6 months since this journey began. The one-hour divorce trial will be next Thursday, September 12 at 11am. I need your prayers.

Please pray specifically that:
1. The Lord's perfect Will will be done. Matthew 6:9-13
2. I will have favor with Judge ____ _____. Leviticus 26:9
3. The judge will order me to pay, at minimum, standard child support, to have standard visitation/possession, to pay/provide standard insurance and pay 1/2 of IRS debt. Psalm 37
4. My attorney will be prepared and say all the right words at the right time to work in my favor. 1 Corinthians 1:30, Psalm 37:30-31
5. I will be prepared and say all the right words at the right time to work in my favor. 1 Corinthians 1:30, Psalm 37:30-31
6. H will say all the right words at the right time to work in my favor. Psalm 37:32-33, Deut. 33:29
7. H�s attorney will say all the right words at the right time to work in my favor. Psalm 37:32-33, Deut 33.29
8. H will have good mental health from this day forward and be accepting of all that occurs with no desire to harm himself or others. Psalm 147:3
9. H will seek the Lord, truly, and be an excellent example for DS5 and DD2 now and for the rest of his days. John 16:13
10. Our co-parenting relationship will thrive so that we can truly be the parents God has created us to be. Psalm 16:7
11. Our finances will overflow so that no one has to suffer any financial hardship that could trickle down to the children. Leviticus 26:10
12. We will move on to live happy and healthy lives with thriving relationships that are pleasant, peaceful, and positively beneficial to our children with no threat of harm or danger. Philippians 4:19

I believe the Lord has and will continue to cover me and our children. I know that whatever the outcome, He has us. I have comfort in that. Leviticus 26:3-5, 13

Thank you again for your prayers and words of encouragement during this time. If I know nothing else, I know that we serve a God who is faithful and has been here with me and my littles EVERY step of the way. Thank you, Lord!

Sincerely,

W

We had a divorce trial today. Nothing left to do other than signing the papers. It feels surreal...but I have learned so much about myself as well as others. I can't fathom reconciliation at this point. She is vehement done. Not looking forward to this emotional roller coaster. Thanks for all the prayers and encouragement from everyone.

So sorry DNT.