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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352 |
lmw1,
Do you understand the difference between the concepts of WORKING for a result and WISHING for a result?
WORKING would involve performing the nuclear exposure, and if it produces the expected result, laying out the necessity of NC, EPs and MB-conformance as your conditions for staying in the marriage.
WISHING is basically whatever the hell you're doing.
I honestly don't think as of yet she would be willing...
Stop "Thinking"! Start "Trusting" us!
She ain't willing because she's sitting fat, dumb and adulterous in her "I got two men on a string" easy chair. Exposure dumps her out of that piece and onto the floor of "You are without honor or integrity, so say we all!" as averred by all her family and friends. Such clarity often provides willingness.
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357 |
It sounds like she had been texting him, and she was telling him her feelings towards him and he wasn't really responding.Sounds like thankfully he was done with her before she was ready to be done with him. You don't know this. This is speculation and will not help you. Don't depend on the OM to suddenly develop morals and solve this for you. After the first 2 days, I could tell she was drifting away again and she again started saying that she doesn't know if it will ever work out between us and that she needs to have that "feeling" she had with him and doesn't know if I can give that to her. This tells me that she was either in contact with him or starting withdrawal. The former possibility isn't good - the latter is better. I would like the fill out the EN and LB questionnaires with her, but I don't know if she would be willing because every time I mention something about this website she gets upset. I had her read some of the information on here a while ago and she did kind of agree with it, but I don't think she liked hearing the information that was on here. I told her that if it wasn't for this website, I probably would have given up and she just says "sometimes I just wish you would have". Don't say anything more about this website to her. This is your resource for ending the affair. Your WW will not be receptive to anything about Marriage Builders as long as she is gripped by this addiction.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357 |
I honestly dont think as of yet she would be willing to follow the MB program.
The affair has not been exposed. Of COURSE she's not going to follow a marriage-building program. She's wayward. That's for later. For now, you've got to expose this affair in order to kill it. Why have you not done so yet? Please don't tell me that you're afraid to make your WW mad. 
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 6
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 6 |
I actually saw the texts that she had been sending him. It was a little over a week ago they were texting just small chit chat and she text him "I love you" and he didnt really respond. He kind of changed the subject and was short with her. Like the next day my wife text him again and said she was "done with the heartache" and he text back "have a good life". The day after that was when she told me she wanted to give us time.
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Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,123 Likes: 1
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Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,123 Likes: 1 |
I actually saw the texts that she had been sending him. It was a little over a week ago they were texting just small chit chat and she text him "I love you" and he didnt really respond. He kind of changed the subject and was short with her. Like the next day my wife text him again and said she was "done with the heartache" and he text back "have a good life". The day after that was when she told me she wanted to give us time. Affairees are like highschoolers. In 2 weeks, they will be at it again. Expose the affair and kill it dead.
"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr
"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer
"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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