I thought about anti-depressants but was trying to avoid taking anything. Will they alter my personality? Will I still be able to function at work?

I have faith in my lawyer, but it's difficult not to think of how dramatically my life has and will continue to change...it's very depressing going from being grateful for my life and thinking I had a wonderful life/family to this situation almost over night. It's just a lot to take in all at once.

They won't alter your personality and they shouldnt affect your function as long as you take the correct dose. They just turn the dial down on your emotions.

Are you in contact with your WH or do you have an IM? Complete no contact is the only way to go.

Thanks, Rocketqueen! I have an IM and I continue to ask that he use them instead of contacting me directly, but ignores my requests. He calls from numbers I don't recognize and/or leaves urgent messages with my daughter, and then when I contact him it is for something stupid...like to tell me when the electric bill is due. I know I need to do a better job with the no contact, but it's proving to be more difficult than I expected. I was hoping he would respect my wishes and allow me to heal, but that hasn't been the case. I guess there isn't a thing about this situation that is easy.

Have you changed all your contact information?

Yes, change your number and email and ignore anything that comes from your daughter.

Most waywards try to get around the IM. You have to make it so he has no choice.

No, I haven't changed my contact information. I guess I tried to take the easy way out & just blocked him. I see now that may not be good enough. I really thought he would respect my wishes in my plan b letter because he must know how badly I'm hurting...I guess once again my expectations were too high. Thanks for the reinforcement!

Yes waywards do not respect anything and so you must protect yourself and be smart.

Blocking him from your phone doesn't work, because he can call you from another number and get through.

A wayward respect your wishes? Hahaha

Seriously, plug the holes, stay dark.

Question for the experts out there:

I recently heard that WH is no longer in contact with the OW. Apparently she dumped him so now he has resorted to dating women much younger than him. So, here's my question to the group, why does it bother me so much that he chose to pursue other women instead of make an attempt to reconcile with me? Our divorce is forging ahead with full steam...

Because he still has LB deposits in your love bank. Of course it will still bother you.

Better question, why and how are you hearing these things in Plan B?

Your question has too many possible answers to list here, and waywards constantly surprise us with new modes of irrationality, anyway.

But, turnabout being fair play, the logical questions from the group to you would be:

Why did you permit that information to breach your Plan B?
How soon can you put it out of your mind?

I hear you! I guess I haven't been very airtight with my plan b. "Friends" believing they are helping, tell me these things not realizing they bother me as much as they do.

I've been trying to put it out of my mind for days, but it's been difficult because it's really bothering me. I can't help but wonder why he wouldn't even attempt to reconcile...makes me believe he never really loved me in the first place. I suppose I just want answers and although I know there aren't any, I still find myself looking for them.

Going back to you would mean he would have to admit he was wrong, and WSs would rather eat dirt than admit they were wrong.

I never thought of it that way, Karmasrose. Thanks for the insight!

So what can you do to plug your Plan B holes?

I suppose I need to let my friends know that I prefer they keep any knowledge of his "activities" private because when they share things with me it just hurts me more. I know they mean well, but I see now how damaging it is to my emotional stability. All of this infidelity and divorce stuff really sucks!

I know, friend and that's why we want to get you into a dark Plan B to help you heal.

Just tell them "it hurts me too much to hear about him or anything he does. Please help me heal and don't tell me anything about him"

What self-care do you have planned this weekend?

It has been a while since I last posted and a lot has happened since. Divorce was finalized in court yesterday. Now it's just a matter of everyone signing the final papers and having them filed. So my question for all the experts on here...why do I feel soooo bad today? I took an AD yesterday and it definitely helped, but today I can't stop crying. I'm still in shock that I'm single again and that the man I thought was so compassionate and caring has shown me he is truly one of the coldest and most heartless people I have known! I keep asking myself why he stopped loving me. I honestly thought I was a good wife. I guess we had different impressions of what that picture looked like. It just hurts so much...I should add that this is my SECOND divorce...both husbands were unfaithful and once they were caught they ran and never looked back. I know I'm not perfect, but I never thought I would be here right now...divorced for the second time! I often wonder if he cheated because he knew my first husband did the same thing. I have so many unanswered questions that keep playing in my mind. I just don't know why he destroyed our family!