That's touching.

BTW, if you do exclude women with children a lot of people will judge you for it. But I firmly believe that that is YOUR decision to make.

Less conflict. The exception would be perhaps a widow with an infant or very young child?

I really think it is up to you. You might want to evaluate each decision on a case by case basis.

For now, just date! Even if it's not someone you might start a long term relationship with, some dating experience will probably do you good for the future.

I agree with Marcos.......it is your decision. I will say in my case I have had almost no trouble with my step sons....all of our problems come from the xw. For men, I have observed there are less problems out of the xh. My xh gives us no problem.

So for you, a man, finding a woman with a small child......either widowed OR with the father out of the picture would probably work well. But if they do have an involved father he might be easy to deal with....so that is why evaluating case by case is recommended. And since you have full custody of your kids, a lot of the issues dh has with visitation would not be a problem for you.

Handling the inevitable problems with children properly is key. One thing that has helped me is to remember that dh loves his boys as much as I love my son. I also think that acknowledging up front that you each wont have the same kind of feelings for their child as you do for your own is helpful.

Hey JK,
I heard you on the show - that was you last week, right? It was great and very helpful to me to hear some of the related concepts.

I have been thinking about your situation a lot since then. I have to tell you that I think you may find getting into a LT relationship will bring many challenges, some of which may not be best for your kids. The big factors that make me feel this way are that you have full custody and that could make it hard for you to spend the time with a potential mate that you really need to make a good judgement. Also since they are all girls, you are bound to run into jealousy issues all over the place.

I can tell you that I would not have wanted anyone to tell me that when I was where you're at. I don't mean to bring you down - but you are very logical and level-headed (just what your kids need in fact), so I figure you can handle the info.

Most encouraging was what Dr. Harley said about kids who are raised by their Fathers turning out to do very well in most cases.

If you are someone who could date casually, with all the right boundaries, you would probably be fine. Just be really upfront with women from the outset because I believe your are bound to be a big hit!

opt

Opt
I have DS 10, DD 9 and 6.

I agree time is an issue because I have a hard time just keeping up with current stuff.
How can I find a potential date that fits the profile of single, no kids and between 25-35? I'll try the Internet date service match or eharmony.
I'm not very enthused about using an Internet service to find a date though

I think there is something called "meetup groups" going on right now, that's all the fad.

My Brother in Law is a musician and he said the clubs they play once in a while will sell 30-40 tickets at a time to these types of groups (to the point his wife can't even get into the show at the last minute if they sell it out!)
I guess the idea is casual recreational activities (probably with different themes or a variety of events).

It's for singles, so might fill that desire for adult socialization that you may be feeling.

I've always thought volunteering is a great way to meet people. If you strike out one night, at least you will have given your time to a worthy cause!

I also had to wonder why 25-35. You are very mature and have had tremendous life experiences; perhaps not all good, but you are someone who learns life's lessons. A 20 something is just starting to figure out which end is up...:)

just some thoughts Jedi.

opt

I am 35.
What age would you recommend?

I'm 34, divorced for 4 years, no kids, and I've been using Match.com and PlentyofFish.com (which is free) - my experience is that if you go younger, you're more likely to find girls who don't have kids, but a 25 year old is probably also less likely to understand/accept that she will not come first in your life as a father of 3.

Personally, the youngest I go is 32, and the oldest 39, because I very much want to have kids and I feel that an older man would be less likely to want that, especially if he already has children of his own.

Another free dating site is OkCupid.com - I recommend trying out the free ones at first, especially if you are skeptical about the idea of finding a date online. Then at least you aren't out the $170 fee and you're not stuck with it for 6 months.

Good luck - I hope you find who you're looking for.

I agree that 25 is probably too young for you...32 is a good age, however, if you are willing to go just a few years older you might find a woman who has grown children which can be much less stress. Again, look at case by case because some women with grown children are letting those kids run her life and you sure don't want that.

I don't think Jedi is looking for a situation where he is married but puts kids before his wife.

That's not quite what I meant - more like if I were dating a man who had full custody of his kids, he may not want me to meet them for a while, and therefore our dates may not be as spontaneous and carefree as I might like. Staying over at each other's houses would be unlikely, weekend trips would be unlikely; if no one was available to watch the kids one weekend that may mean not seeing each other. Stuff like that, before you even reach the marriage stage.

Yes I understand.
Dr Harley recommends against sex before marriage and I also do not want to have sex prior to marriage.

Question:
I have a third cousin, his wife of 10 yrs is having an affair.
My cousin is a drug addict, recently release from jail.
She found a boyfriend during the drug use and jail time (he basically abandoned his family for drugs).

Well she makes Facebook posts regularly about spending time with her boyfriend.

I'm tired of reading her crap.

Her children are my 4th cousins and my children's cousins.
Does etiquette play into my choices? If I "unfriend" her (which I intend to) should
I send her a message explaining that I dont want to read about her adultery?

I wouldn't bother with any messages or anything as she could probably care less and isn't even related to you.

They're trash, buddy, and not worthy of any further attention or concern from you.

I agree. Since she is a soon to be X inlaw, I would just unfriend and not look back.

Okay I unfriended her and another cheating relative

Here.
Radio Clip on Jedi_Knight's Call
Segment #2
Segment #3

Today's sermon was about Adultery.

Afterwards I ran a nice 8 mile run while the kids visited ex ww and I thought of how GREAT plan b is!

Hi Jedi, listened to your radio clip it was very insightful! I think you can set age limits,(restrictions) but be open to fudging them a bit. I say I have a 5 year, 10 year rule, a lot of it depends on your current age, for me going 10 years younger as a woman who is 30 would be frowned upon and I highly doubt I would have much in common with a 20 year old man, kwim? So for me, I say 5 years younger and 10 years older max. I tend to go for guys 3-5 years older in general.

As for the idea of dating someone without kids, I think it is totally dependent on you and the woman. I have known many childless women who would of and did make horrible step mothers, and there are many women with children that make great step mothers. I, at first thought I should date single dads only since I am a single mom, but now realize, I should not judge a person based on whether a person has children or not, or I could really be missing out.

Do you feel you personally would have issues with a partners children? My xwh said he could never have another womans children living with him while his own kids were not there, it would be too upsetting. Are you worried you would not treat potential step children well? If so, how do feel about if the tables were turned and a new wife didn't treat your bio children well, particularly if you were to have more children with the new wife?

Someone near and dear to me treated her now stepdaughter like her own and she has gone above and beyond to give her stepdaughter the best, she was 19 at the time when her and her now husband started dating and her stepdaughter was about 1 year old. They now have their own daughter as well and I can say she is an excellent stepmother, so it isn't an age thing or a child/childless thing, it is a PERSONALITY thing.

As far as the avenue for dating, I would be very choosy if you go the online dating route. I had briefly tried it, but now have taken myself out of the dating game and will only entertain the idea of a date if I meet someone the old fashioned way IN real life, though I met xwh off the internet so i may be a bit jaded.

Lastly, when was your divorce finalized, I don't read all the threads here so I was curious how long you waited to start dating. I began dating way too early and now I embracing my singleness.