JediKnight and stilltryingx2,
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Received and reply sent to Jediknight. Thank you!!

I am going to share some texts between this woman and I.
I would appreciate any feedback.

Facebook messages:
Me:
How did you find me on facebook?

Her:
So, I have been reading Atlas Shrugged and absolutely fell in love with Ayn Rand's writing....that's where I saw your comment and checked your page, and wanted to know you. Thanks for adding me. I am almost done with the book, I have been too busy to read, and I take breaks in frustration over what is happening, but that's why I love it so...I don't know about you, but I haven't met anyone who has even heard of the book, I started it so that I could write an essay for a college scholarship. I will definitely make it for next years deadline. Ask me anything.

Me:
Thats great
How old are you? Have you read the Fountainhead or Anthem?

Her:
I'm 38. I haven't read them yet, Atlas is my first one, but as soon as I finish I plan on reading one of those next. I haven't decided which yet though. Have you read them?

Me:
I listened to Athem on Audiobook. You can listen to it on Youtube. I've seen The Fountainhead but haven't read it in its entirety

Her:
I have never listened to an audio book. Just checked the you tube. I can't believe you can listen to the whole thing in two hours. Seems a bit like cheating.

Me:
Yes. I listened to it while gardening. I also listen to John Galts speach on YouTube.
My name is Jedi. this is just an alias name I use on facebook

Her:
ah. I hear about people that listen to audio books and fall asleep then lose their place. I may try it sometime with one I don't intend to read. I had no idea you tube had that. Your alias is clever though. Are you worried someone from your past might find you? haha, I have accepted friends from past and then got rid of them because I realized why they were no longer in my present.

Me:

Yea I use it to help prevent my ex wife from contacting me; it serves as an additional measure of privacy

Her:

I blocked my ex, but have since unblocked him. Then he wanted to be friends again, but it didn't work out. Do you share custody with her? Mine lives out of state, it makes life sweet.

Me:

Yea. Such attempts rarely do work out.
I have full custody of my 3 children.

Her:

I have full custody too. My daughter is 11. Then I have two older ones 18 and 20 and a grand daughter. I have been a mother all my adult life, wouldn't change it for the world. They are everything to me.
I have 230 pages left. Taggert's wife just ran from him.
You are the same age as my brothers. Well two of them. I have 4.
I am being summoned for a movie that is starting with my sons girlfriend. do you want to text?

Okay then we started texting on 11/13.
The texts become more personal. ....

Well I was going to post the text mesaages but don't know how to export them

Basically I have spent hours texting this woman at night, with texting throughout the day.
The texting is new to me
In a way, I always hated texting because my ex carried on her affair with it so I was prejudiced against texting.
But I have enjoyed it

We have discussed history, philosophy, life etc.
I mentioned some of Harleys concepts and asked her about her philosophy of sacrificing in marriage.
She ideRiontified her top 5 emotional needs and I find myself attracted to her.

I've sent her mildly flirty text messages (thank you internet websites for the copy and paste) and she has done the same.

Is she local?

No she isn't.
So I have to keep it at a friendship level.
Ahe lives 2000 miles away.

Sounds entertaining and sounds like fun (after all you ARE a bachelor now!)

That is a LOT of miles though.........you can have fun BUT look for someone local.


Once you find a local. Shut the long distance communication DOWN.

Bammm. (quick).

Okay

Well we had a lot of texting.
Romantic texts and I was following the friends of good conversation guidelines.

Then we were going to speak on the phone for the first time today.
We had a set time to talk. Unfortunately, I had an emergency work situation and was unable to talk. But I called at the appointed time and she answered.
I said hello, apologized for having a work emergency and then we agreed to talk later.

Well she sent me a text that she was busy:

How bout we dont plan it. My day is not that predictable. I understand for this morning When it comes to work its hard to even have a minute. I usually dont even take time on the phone with my family because I get so busy.today I have so many things getting ready

I tried to call again later and she texted:

I cant believe I missed your call. Im at a friends house. I still have not made it to the store.Im so behind and Im getting overwhelmed with everything right now
I didnt want to call back just now because we are In the middle of something so I dont want to be rude to her or to you.

I replied texted:

I understand. I very much look forward to hearing your voice and hope we can connect soon. You sounded very sweet when I called you this morning

Am I correct that the ball is in her court now?
What surprises me is that she has been texting me probably 50 times a day, sometimes for an hour or two at night. But when it came time to talk in person nothing.

Yesterday she even gave me her mailing address so we could also write letters to each other.
I suppose its also possible she just didn't like my voice.

Hate to bust your bubble, but I'm smelling 'player' here. When someone is interested in someone, they TAKE THE TIME to show it and make that person and their time 'somewhat' of a priority. And advance the 'relationship' She's not advancing. Just my two-cents worth.

That's the impression I get.
I showed my sister the texts and she thought this lady liked me a lot.
But as soon as it came time to talk on the phone there were excuses.
So I think I will just back off and if she decides to call then we will see

Do you think maybe she wasn't honest with you about her status? It's odd that she doesn't want to talk on the phone but is willing to text. Seems like she might be hiding something? A boyfriend maybe? If a guy I liked called me while I was at a friends house I would probably leave early to call him back! Definitely would not respond with a text. Your instict to be wary are right on.
But at least you got some practice talking to a woman!
Also, Happy Belated Birthday, hope you celebrated with a nice long run.

Texts from her this week:

Goodmorning to you
As I casually get myself ready for work, I ponder, have you dreamt of me? Would you tell me if you had? I hope you have a wonderful day full of happiness

I feel raw and exposed. Vulnerable to your desires. Your words speak to my soul. I long to feel your breath. I want more than just a dream. My dreams are explicit and full of passion.

You are so romantic!
Its been so busy since I got here and my heart is pounding!

Well I looked on the cali court website and it looks like she is divorced.
And she friended me on facebook but of course we all know that doesn't mean anything.
My feeling is that she liked the texting but when it came to talking she backed off

I hate to sound paranoid, but I don't trust very easily, and there are so many crazy people out in the world. Have you ever seen Catfishing? Anyone can be anyone or anything online.

What reason could she possibly have for not wanting to talk live?

You said you know you have to keep it at friendship level because of the distance (a safety net for her, it seems as she doesn't want to speak on the phone) but the latest texts go beyond friendship. So what are you really hoping to get out of this?

Say you keep up the romantic conversation with this lady, and a couple weeks from now you meet the girl of your dreams in the gardening section at Home Depot. Are you going to be so attached to her that it'll be difficult to cease communication?

Just be careful. Have fun with it but don't get in too deep.
If you hate my advice just say so, I'll butt out!

I read website they said if a woman ignores you for a day then you ignore her for a day or two days vice versa. so I think I will do that

Well she called me on her way home from work.
The conversation was alright.
Then after abt 15 min she said that she was home and needed to go (before she got out of her car)
So I think maybw there is some issue. Why can she not talk on the phone in her single apartment?

I followed the rules of good conversation from Dr Harley.

She told me that she will be unable to talk on the phone for the next few days but can text.

I think you are all right. Perhaps she is playing games.

Personally I am baffled. I don't understand how someone can text for hours but can't have a 15 minute phone call?
What has been the point of all these texting? Hours worth of texting!
Why did she give me her address to write?

I know that men should not appear clingly or upset.
I don't know how to handle this other than just brush her off for a couple days

Jedi, people tell you all about themselves the first time you meet them. Later their actions are coloured by your expectations and your interpretations are coloured by your emotions.

Move on, good women don't play games.

Ditto!

I received a text from ex sil:

Hey,I might have some things in with ww stuff. Would you leave her things on the front porch to get after you are done moving? Especially a purple momento tub. I could tell her what day to get them so you wouldn't have to see her if you don't want to. Let me know.night.

My reply:
I have nothing that belongs to her
I do not have a purple momento tub. Everything else is gone. I don't save stuff from a divorce
Please do not send her here

Her:
Fine. Just thought id try. My great grandmas necklace that I wore to my wedding was in there.oh well.night.

Me:
I'm sorry for your loss.


Now, I'm shocked she asks me about this now. 1 week before we move.
We have visited her probably 6 times in the past 2 ywars.
I've been divorced since july 2012.
Now I know that etiquette requires one to be thoughful.
But I felt like typing Ask your cheating sister about the necklace!

Should I reply, your sister probably took it (as she confessed to me during our marriage that she actually stole something of value from her sister.....or just ignore it?)