...get it done, and move on into Plan B and stop thinking about it all.

As mentioned before, paralysis by analysis is the poison to any effort. This should have been done and in your rearview mirror two days ago!

Please make your next note,

"I did the exposure to OM's dad, and have closed the book on any further WH consideration. I'm now off to get a pedicure."

How are you doing? What is going on?

Hi 20YH, I did not send the letter. The more i thought about it the more I realized if they want to continue contact they will. I am positive he already heard what was going on. If he has any influence on her he would have done something already..

I'm okay. This week I have cried about the same as DDay and the following days. So far no attempted contact from him. My IL are supporting me 100%, turns out WH hasn't visited them and we all figured its cause FIL usually puts WH in place. We figure that's why WH has decided to move so far from ALL of his family and friends that actually care and why he won't visit. My IL have made it clear they will not support him and the A and FIL is waiting for WH to swing by so that he can give him a mini intervention. Since then I have asked them to not update me on WH.

My father is taking me to Austin to go watch the Texans games with the whole family, so it will be nice to get away from all the triggers here at home.

I understand too well how painful loss and betrayal feels.

Good to hear they are not going to update you on him. Right now he is a lost soul. Try to remember that what he has become is not who you thought you married.

Time does make things easier. When you are in the middle of the storm is doesn't seem so but it will. Sometimes I would set myself a goal of getting through just 5 minutes at a time, then 10, then 15...then back to 5. Trying to bite off too much at a time can be overwhelming. Baby steps.

Glad you are getting out and having some fun. Staying BUSY with friends and family as much as possible will really help. I found the more I talked about it the worse I felt and also the opposite to be true.

Keep your chin up. You are really doing well. You are going to make it!

The question is would FIL have any influence over your WH to end the affair? If he would, you should call or send him the letter.

Stay on top of your self-care during Plan B. How are the drop off and picks up for your DS going?

You're staying dark, correct?

Thanks 20YH, I feel like a robot. You know, getting up, making breakfast, cleaning up, going to moms hous, coming home, read, and force myself to sleep. Feels like I am in auto pilot mode..

BH, my FIL definitely has influence, that's why we figure WH has not visited the ILs. When he has (twice) he leaves before FIL arrive from work. FIL is waiting for WH to come around, he said he does not want to do it over the phone and he can't force WH to come and visit, especially since he is avoiding everyone.

Yes, very dark. I changed all my contact info, blocked him from social media sites, and the IM is set up. I have also asked my IL to not tell WH about DS5 or my schedule. Including if DS5 is visiting them, I told them it is his responsibility to make an effort to see DS5 and he knows how he is supposed to do it, through the IM.

The one thing that keep replaying in my head is what WH told me, regarding more than one affair... I keep thinking to myself that I might not want him back if he does ever attempt reconciliation. Then again, it would be my choice to want to continue or not..

Just random thoughts that I wanted to vent. Thanks guys, being here makes it easier to go through this.

That's why it's even more important for you to expose to FIL. Can you call him?

I speak with my IL every few days, I spoke with them yesterday and all of that was revealed to me. Regarding WH not visiting them.

I think you are thinking about WH FIL? Or OW?

Idk. I am talking about my own IL, WH parents. They are the ones he is avoiding like the plague. He knows his parents have a lot to say, my IL know that's why is avoiding them. They are waiting on him to "visit", so that they can sit him down.

Ok thanks. Yes I was thinking of WH's FIL. I'm glad they are going to keep trying to put pressure on him. Let them do their parenting on him.

So the letter you were talking about was OW's FIL? I STILL think you should send it because you never know what family member or friend could make a crack into the waywards.

No, the letter I was talking about is for OW father. I did not have his contact info when I first exposed.
I checked the fake FB last week and had a message from OW cousin, who is the one that revealed this is not her first time being involved with married men, and she told me I should tell her father directly and gave me his email.
But I am guessing he heard about it from the rest of the family. OW had the decency to text me "We are even, I ruined your life, now you ruined mine. I have to leave the country and can't come back." etc.
I'm guessing her father had something to do with that.

I am a little scared to say anything else to him, idk.

You're doing great, the OW is just hopping mad, blowing smoke because you exposed the affair. I imagine he would like to hear about it.

Okay, I guess I did my final exposure.

Sent the email to OW father. I am done with exposure, I am done with thinking about WH and what him and OW are texting and sexting about.

If he wants to ever reconcile he knows what to do. I am through with waiting. He can catch up if he wants, if not he can stay back there with all the filth.

Good now you can concentrate on Plan B.

Don't worry about OW's response she ruined her life, she is responsible for any consequences of her A not your honesty about the A.

Good now your exposure is complete.

Stay dark and take care of yourself. Enjoy the Texan's game.

WH contacted me via FB. He made a fake account and sent me a message. I had my sister reply to the message and say if you would like to set something up please contact the IM. I blocked him now.

He's trying to break Plan B now.

Can you close all social media until some time goes by and he starts respecting your Plan B?

Good job for blocking him, but he can just make another account and do it again. Also he knows you saw his message because it received a response.

Do i really have to close them. I'll give it one more time, if he does I will close them all. Promise.

If you are serious about plan B, close all social media. You are leaving yourself open (on purpose?) for continued contact by your WS. I have been in plan b for well over a year. Closing out fb was one of the first things i did.

It sounds like you are wanting him to contact you so you can get a "fix" of him. It is so not worth getting the "fix" as it continues to keep you stuck. It prevents your healing.

I am not doing it on purpose, I have always had it and blocked him as soon as I went into Plan B. If it really is that serious then I will. I understand what you are saying, because my stomach dropped when I realized it was him.

I should rephrase that, It was one of the first things I did after FINALLY went into plan b. I basically went into plan b kicking and screaming after an extended plan a. My initial plan b was swiss cheese. It is not the case anymore.

I know the holes and excuses, becaused I used them all myself.

Tighten it up, you will feel much better.