l_w, I had no idea, good for you!

Still can't believe it really happened :-)

Did match for a few months and overall the experience was positive. Even seeing/hearing the nuts was a plus...of what was out there and what to stay away from lol.

Here is an interesting article.
One out of six marriages last year originated online.

http://www.marketwatch.com/story/10-things-dating-sites-wont-tell-you-2013-02-08

My first match.com date was with a guy who was a real winner - 1) I googled his name after our date and found he had a record for check fraud, and 2) I googled his cell phone number and saw him listed on a dominatrix' website - blacklisted because he failed to pay for her services. Ew....

After that I deleted my account for a while, felt hopeless, then decided to reactivate. And then I met the man I spent the next 3+ years with. Unfortunately, it came to a point where we had to realize we just didn't want the same thing out of life - I wanted marriage and kids, and he did not. Overall though the experience was a positive one!

Used POF. Some of the men there seem rather nice, however there is one that kept wanting to "chat" when I was only logged on to check a profile they sent. I think I can turn the chat off, but have not done it yet.

I also logged on for a site for older people. You'd think people there would be more mature, but it did not seem like the conversation was. I was bored, so when a man asked to private message me (with cam), I said fine since he seemed okay up to that point. He was nice enough, we talked a bit, then he started in with all the compliments and how great I was, etc. Cut short to the end, he asked me if I could wear something low cut next evening...

Needless to say I didn't show up.

An article from Catholic Answers on online dating:

http://www.catholic.com/blog/michelle-arnold/matchmaking-unplugged

I don't buy her arguments at all. She clearly never actually tried on-line dating before writing the article. The truth is that for some types of people this is really the only way they will meet potential partners.

Meetup is a good place to meet people. Activities for almost everyone with any kind of hobby, assuming your town is big enough. Most of the groups are not high-pressure singles, but more hobby oriented.

PS. If you are going to meet with someone off an online dating site, you can always arrange to meet them somewhere that your meetup group is going, so you won't necessarily be alone. ;-)

About 2 weeks ago, I created a profile and posted 2 pics on plenty of fish.
I also installed their app on my phone.
Unfortunately, I have sent messages to about 25 women and not a single response! (Except for one response - which didn't result in a date).

My message is typically this:

"Hi, I read your profile and like yourself I also like blah blah blah.
I would like to meet you for coffee, perhaps at a local starbucks or something similar if you are interested.
Please let me know.

Thanks

Jedi

________________________________________________

Does my message appear poorly?
Why am I not getting any responses.
I know they read my message because they are looking at my profile (the website tells me who views my profile)

Any suggestions?

Jedi - Two pictures isn't very many - what kinds of photos are they? Are you smiling, having fun? Can you see your face clearly?

Is your profile short, or did you take the time to write a quality profile that brings out your personality and what kind of woman you're looking for?

Also - maybe all women aren't like this, I don't speak for all of us - but I am turned off when a man's first message to me (I'm also on POF) is "Hi, do you want to meet" - because I still don't know enough about him to know if I want to meet him in person. I need to have a few email exchanges first, to get a feel for their personality beyond what the profile says.

JustMe is right. I'm also on POF, Match, Eharmony and Zoosk. Any man that wants to meet me right away....BIG red flag. I also look for pics that are happy and fun. They must be clear to see and not tiny. I don't want to read a book, but a profile must be decent length to let me know a bit about a person. Chat or email exchanges for a few days, then move to texting/phone calls. Meet in 2 weeks if things seem to be going well.

Here is my profile. What do you think?

Hello,
I am a healthy, intelligent man looking to date others who have a love of life.
I live a life of physical, mental and spiritual health.

Physically, I am very healthy. I have a healthy diet of wholesome foods and fresh vegetable juices from my garden. I exercise, including distance running (Marathon runner).

Mentally, I read current news events and articles (favorite newspaper is the Wall Street Journal), I like to read everything from novels like Atlas Shrugged and The Carpetbaggers to non-fiction biography of Kublai Khan.

Spiritually, I am a Christian and accept the 10 Commandments as a premise to live by. I attend church services weekly and am very interested in Church history.

I also have a passion for food. I love to cook.

Currently Im looking to date. However I am relationship/ marriage oriented. In relationships, I believe that neither party should be expected to make sacrifices for the other. I believe in mutually pleasant outcomes and goals. (as described in the book His Needs Her Needs by Dr Bill Harley)
I am a single father with custody of my children.

Hi Jedi.

As for any written text:
- Get rid of examples and titles. (Wallstr Journal, Kublai)
- Avoid the use of "I AM", "I HAVE", "I WANT".
- Never use "I" at the beginning of your personal description.

Why not start with... My friends suggested..." or "Now the sky has cleared I am ready..." or "My kids are..."

- You are not giving enough information about yourself or what you want from the other person!
Ofcourse you are a healthy intelligent man looking to date others. So is everyone else on a dating site...

be more specific:

Do you want to hit it off fast or slow?
Are you looking for serious dating straight away or would you just like to meet a lot of people for a coffee first?

- Your most attractive traits are at the bottom of your text and you did not highlight them! Move them to the TOP somehow.

e.g.
You are a HAPPY and PROUD father with full custody of 2 BEAUTIFUL daughters.

You are PASSIONATE about food & LOVE to cook and experiment in the kitchen.

- Get rid of the "I BELIEVE", save those for the date.

:-)

We all know dating is an interview for marriage, but your profile shouldn't sound like a resume. Have fun with it -
You have a passion for food and love to cook! You love to garden and you make a mean [insert the name of your specialty dish here].

You have two amazing kids and on the weekends you'll be found hiking/camping/playing boardgames.

What kind of woman are you looking for? She must like children, of course. Would you like to meet someone who values a healthy lifestyle, someone you can go for a long run with on a Sunday morning? Someone who is outdoorsy and won't freak out at the site of a bug? Maybe she doesn't need to cook as well as you do, but she has to be willing to try new foods and perhaps be a good sous chef?

I hope you see where I'm going (and GM gave you really good pointers too) - you want your profile to stand out. Be yourself, but remember that there are hundreds of men to choose from on these sites so you want women to see how awesome you are. Also think about the profiles of the women you are drawn to - what was it about them that made you want to send them a message?

I agree to remove the line about I believe in mutually pleasant outcomes. Instead, maybe talk about how you are in a romantic relationship. Do you look forward to evenings where you can unwind with your sweetheart and a glass of wine, talk about her day and yours? A long walk after dinner with the kids and the dog? Catching up on the DVR?

I would phrase it as an invitation to join you on life's adventure.

"Christian health nut seeks same for life adventure..."

Ok, maybe not nut. But make it sound fun and interesting.

Invite someone to run a 5K with you. I know you run further, but start there.

Let's assume there is some sort of Zombie Run on 10/26 in your

The Zombies are coming on 10/26. If you want to live, train with me now...

Healthy Christian male looking for healthy Christian female to survive the Zombie apocalypse as well as any other adventures life throws our way...

=============

Action dates are fun and you can go through your checklist of must/must-not haves during the dating process.

Make it fun is my suggestion. Save all the serious stuff for the dates.

It's better to attract more candidates than you know what to do with than to have such a rigid ad that you get few takers.

I like those ideas for jedi. Much more fun and attention grabbing than what's there.

I was just wondering how long I should expect to chat/email a guy before a date happens. Seems the consensus is about two weeks or so. Guess ill wait a little longer and see what happens.

I'm glad I found this thread!

Anon,
A week or 2 does seem like the average, although I've talked to some who within a few days suggested meeting up.

Are you waiting for him to ask you? Are you comfortable making that move first?

Okay how about this as a profile:

HEALTHY CHRISTIAN MALE SEEKS HEALTHY CHRISTIAN FEMALE TO SURVIVE THE HALLOWEEN HALF MARATHON WITH!

The Race in Brookville is coming up soon! Are you ready? If not lets train together!

I'm 35, divorced and a happy proud father of a handsome boy and two beautiful girls of which I have full custody.

The weekends will usually find us hiking, geocaching or playing card games with friends.

I am passionate about foods! Fresh tomatoes and cucumbers from the garden taste delicious!

Do you enjoy the outdoors?
Are you passionate about life?
Do you like to spend your evenings winding down with a cup of wine and sharing your day with your sweetheart?


If so....then maybe we could share our adventures with each other over a cup of coffee...or while on a run together.