After reading many of the courageous threads in this section, I decided I will need to end my Plan A and start Plan B.

I need to also start preparing for the exposure process. I wonder how effective it will be since the A has been gone on for 3 years, but I will do it nonetheless.

I can use some help on the target audience though. My WS and I have an extremely small social circle, and a rather boring lifestyle. She does not have any close friends (i.e. no girls night out), and she jointly own 2 small stores with 2 different business partners, both females and married. We have a few mutual friends but we only see them maybe once every 6 months. On the POSOM side, he's divorced and run his own law firm. As mentioned in an earlier post, I couldn't find his FB account and can only find a few (<10) Google+ contacts that are public.

Given that WS's side family, and my parents already know about the situation, I can only come up with the below exposure list:-
-- my siblings (my parents know but not my siblings yet)
-- WS business partners
-- POSOM's Google+ contacts

One thing that I am wary is that, since this POSOM is a lawyer, could he sue me or make my life miserable for communicating to his friend?

I want to provide additional info so you understand my WS better...
-- she works 6-7 days a week (not easy to be a small business owner)
-- my snooping result showed she has more of a "standard, business" conversation with this POSOM most of the time
-- as I mentioned above, we have a very small social circle. I'd say her time spent on communication in terms of frequency and length of time can be sorted as follows:
1) Me
2) Business Partner #1
3) Business Partner #2
4) POSOM
She doesn't even talk to her parents that much.

Which is why I come to the conclusion that, in Plan A in which I request her to NC this POSOM, she is not willing to do that because that will make her circle even smaller. Plus, facing a caring H can be dull overtime, versus a OM that can breathe freshness to an otherwise boring lifestyle.

By implementing Plan B, and with me doing NC with WS, she will lose an even bigger piece of her social circle. I'd like to see how she will cope with that.

BTW, I naively planned a September overseas' trip earlier this year, with a plan to hold a wedding renewal ceremony at a beachfront chapel. Since it is too costly to cancel, I might as well make this the ultimate Plan A parting gift. We will still go, but without the ceremony, and I will bring up all the good memories we had over all these years during the trip. When I return is when I go poof with a nice Plan B letter.

I would just walk away.

Try to get the better deal of no alimony vs what you are paying if possible and turn and start dating others.

Do you and the ex live together in a house you own, co-own? A rental?

My parents are living in my house, and I am currently living with my in-laws. So when i walk away I will be the one leaving the house, which I am okay with.

Walking away is my logical conclusion at this point also. Still with feelings for each other, I am sure I can revise the D decree.

I actually feel sorry for my parents-in-law. They are nice people and have treat me more as a son than them treating my ex like a daughter. My father-in-law is in deteriorating health and when i told them about the A, they have had many sleepless nights. I feel bad that my situation is affecting his health.

That said, as many of you pointed out -- I contributed to my M having a crack, but it is the WW to blame for the A.

I think you ought to revise the D decree and get it finalized before exposing anything.

Get it air tight in your favor before shaking the hornets nest since you are already legally divorced.

Good advice. I will update the forum once I got the decree revised.