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Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 34
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Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 34 |
I realise that everybody is different and it's hard to put percentages on things. I'm new to this forum and have started following it and doing everything it says - It seems to make a lot of sense but does it actually work. I guess I'm asking do I actually have any chance at all on having any kind of marriage. My husband left 3 months ago to be with ow. Do I honestly stand any chance at all at getting him back or am I just wasting my time and should really accept it and move on? Who has this worked for - People in the same situation where there husband has moved out and is now with someone else?
Me: 37
WH: 35
Stepson 13
Son 4
Daughter 2
BD 04/13
OW affair started and discovered 05/13
Divorce looming but hoping for reconcilliation
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Jostar, I would say it works about 50% of the time. But the longer the affair goes on, the lower the odds. I suspect this affair has gone on for some time, wouldn't you agree? There are not high odds once your WS has moved out, but we have seen some reconcilations, so there is a small chance.
You have nothing to lose by trying because you have already lost everything. The steps would be the same whether you decided to end the marriage or not. You would still expose the affair, you will still go into Plan B.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,066
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,066 |
Do I honestly stand any chance at all at getting him back Absolutely! If you stick to the advice given here Who has this worked for - People in the same situation where there husband has moved out and is now with someone else? My husband had "moved out" (I kicked him out) and was free to be with AP. But it didn't take long for the A to crumble once I started moving on with my life and refused contat with him. Jostar, Recovery is hard! Much more difficult than trying to break up an affair. And it takes both partners to work on it. My recovery has been a struggle. If you do get to recovery, make sure your WH is all in otherwise you are wasting your time and your personal healing will be at a snail's pace. ~RQ
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Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 369
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Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 369 |
As a BS of my wife's 4-5 month affair I can say with 100% certainty that MB is the ONLY program that will work if anything is going to at all. I would not waste my time with anything thing else out there including counselors that don't specialize in this.
A very important part of this program is that each step must be followed exactly as spelled out. You can not deviate even the slightest and that is very tough to do when so emotionally hurt.
I would say in your case it's Plan B with total isolation from him. Listen to Dr. H on the radio to keep you on track and the odds are his relationship with the other W will fall apart as Dr. H usually predicts and then YOU can decide if you want him back at that point. Stay strong.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
KGAA, if you have the time, a poster on SAA could use some of your input. His wife had an affair with a neighbor and they are facing having to sell their home and move away. His name is Pius. Good to see you. 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860 |
This is about the best place to come and save a marriage. Have to be honest that not every marriage can be saved, following MB will give you the best odds.
Plus there are many heavy hitters here that will guide you step by step.
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