My MIL embraced the OW and OC and lost access to MY children for about 4 years because she thought the path to my husband was through his wh*re. She was wrong. We now have a relationship with her but don't see her very often. She missed out on her grandchildren due to her lousy choices. I really, really hate the "do whatever makes your happy" crowd.

I think you are doing the best thing for yourself by removing yourself from this situation.

LU, have you completely eliminated all contact with him? Did you write a Plan B letter to him? He's out of the house?

There's a big difference between a self-styled plan like "Plan I'm Not Going To Talk To You Until You Straighten Up" and Dr. Harley's Plan B. Which one are you in?

Hello maritalbliss

Yes, I'm in Plan B completely I email him a letter and he is out of the house I blocked him from all my IM, delete his numbers from my cell and house phone so I can not call him. take all his clothes out of the bedroom I have removed all pictures from the house. I'm doing this for myself I have to protect myself. It is hard but I will stick with it. Thank you so much for you support.

Can you share the contents of your Plan B letter with us? What are your requirements to allow his return to the marital home?

Hello Maritalbliss,

please see letter below.

**edit***,

I truly love you, I know I�m not an innocent person sitting on the sideline and you doing all the wrong, I know I�ve had a part in making the affair possible, with the anger, nagging and pushing, I�m sorry that I did not seek help faster to learn how to deal with the special needs of our marriage, we are both suffering now, I�ve taken the following step That I�m sure will help me to understand and have better control, I�ve contacted our insurance company and got a list of Doctors that specialize in ADHD, I had them send you the list also, I start my session starts on Wed of next week. I�m willing to work with you but I can�t until you end your relationship for good and no contact with the child, and start therapy for our special needs and follow a plan for reconciliation with me. I will not have any contact with you of any kind I�ve asked **edit** to be, our go between person, and forward this email to you. I know you know the pain I�m going thru so please respect my decision .

Love You Much

***edit***

Oh - you've got Markos helping you - good! He's an excellent MBer. I was a little worried about you until I saw that.

I don't think it's our MB markos. I think it's a friend of hers **edit**.

LU,
I'm sorry for the circumstance that have brought you here, but I assure you that this is a good place to be to get some solid, reasonable support (as you have had thusfar) as well as "someone to listen". It's a lonely world you find yourself in, but I also assure you that you are not alone. Infidelity, and even "other" children affect way more people than you think.

I give you a lot of credit for going into a solid Plan B. I believe it is essential for your health and your future. I believe that it is the only way that you will ever be able to see the situation from an objective view and then make decisions based on logic and reason; as opposed to emotion, attachment, and hope.

I would spend as much time as you can here, reading other threads, as well as the books you've downloaded. Surviving an Affair is a good place to start. Then possibly LoveBusters (to see not only that the abuse you have been enduring actually has a definition; as well as to see your own behaviors that you will want to avoid (and why) to regain happiness in the future).

Good Job listening to the radio show!!! It is an absolutely invaluable resource. Dr. Harley is full of wisdom and each show offers something, even for folks like myself who have been at this MB stuff for quite some time.

Opt

LU,
How is your plan B going?
opt