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I started plan B, some 4 weeks ago, on my wife. I was on plan A before. During plan A she only saw her OM a few times in the previous few months although often communicated with him by text and maybe phone.
Since I started plan B, she intensified her communications by text and now she sees him once a week. Is it an expected result (at least for a while) that, on seeing that she has lost contact and support from me, not even our previous chat, she went to seek more emotional and other support from the OM? She has serious money problems and he has given her money before.
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First of all, plan B is to protect you from further trauma, it is not a method of punishment to break up the affair. That being said. Now WW is entirely dependant on OM for her emotional needs. Good luck to him! 
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Joined: Apr 2001
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Is it an expected result (at least for a while) that, on seeing that she has lost contact and support from me, not even our previous chat, she went to seek more emotional and other support from the OM? She has serious money problems and he has given her money before. OH YES!! And this is when the fun begins! Without you around, it falls to the OM to meet ALL of her needs. And since he is a scumbag, he won't be able to rise to the occasion. With you gone, reality begins to intrude on the little fantasy.  Even so, the point of Plan B is to protect you from the emotional trauma of the affair. It is NOT intended to be a tactic to get her back.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Yes but let us be honest, people like me read here stories of WSs who turned around as a result of plan B and repented of what they did. My understanding of plan B is that there are two possible outcomes: either she repents and asks me for contact with the news about ending the affair or I will be able to move on. How long I will wait is the interesting bit. I have read here of cases of couples that re-unite after 5 years since the break-up of their relationship due to an affair but I am not that patient.
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Dr Harley advises people to move on after 2 years, because it is likely hopeless after that length of time.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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OH YES!! And this is when the fun begins! Without you around, it falls to the OM to meet ALL of her needs. And since he is a scumbag, he won't be able to rise to the occasion. With you gone, reality begins to intrude on the little fantasy. Talking about reality, my wife and I have two small children. The scumbag, who has no children, has offered to take her with her kids. My wife has no patience for people, including her own children, who interfere in 'her private life' and she always loses her temper and ends up screaming and threatening them. Both kids have developed behavioural problems as a result of my wife's actions for the past year. I would like to see her and the scumbag trying to have a romantic candle-lit dinner with two screaming kids fighting and chasing each other around the dinner table. Instant romance killer. However, I will not sacrifice my kids and hand them over to the scumbag just to prove my point. About small children, do they have a particular influence on the WS under plan B?
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My wife has no patience for people, including her own children, who interfere in 'her private life' and she always loses her temper and ends up screaming and threatening them. This is emotional abuse. Your children should not have to endure this. Have you spoken to a solicitor about this?
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Dr Harley advises people to move on after 2 years, because it is likely hopeless after that length of time. I was wondering about a third possibility: that both move on, during plan B, but after a while both realise that the grass was not greener elewhere after all and that they had something together they should not have lost. I have heard of cases where the couples found new partners, even married then split up with their respective partners and found each other again. But these are probably not common. One of those things would be the children obviously. That is why I was wondering what difference can make, during plan B, whether the couple have no children, small children, grown children or children who have already left.
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