I just learned my husband was having a so call emotional affair. As he describes that nothing sexual happened that she was more like and outlet, someone that he could talk to about his worries and concerns. I am devastated we been married 22 years and i am almost sure that he was faithful to me till now. I am very confused because this affair went on for almost a year and is very difficult for me to believe that nothing sexual happened. The only thing that made me suspicious was him coming home a little late from work and some suspicious text messages i found on his phone. He became more affectionate to me than ever before and we started spending more time together and our sexual life improved more he tells me he felt so guilty and this affair made him appreciate me more and that's why he became more sexual and affectionate towards me and couldn't be sexual with the other woman. Can this be possible. The thing is i confronted him about a picture i found in his phone and we had a big argument where our kids got involved and questioned him and he denied everything. Then a couple a weeks later i found the text messages and he couldn't denied it and had to confess. why if he felt so guilty he didn't stop when i found the picture and specially when he saw how hurt our kids where by it? We are experiencing financial problems, our home may go on foreclosure and he says it was stress who lead him to behave this way and when he tried to stop the affair the woman wouldn't let him go. We have decided to work it out but as much as i love him i am so hurt and i feel he didn't trust me enough to open up to me. I thought we had communication because we would discuss our worries and frustrations. I can't make love to him without having images in my mind of him having sex with her cause he admitted they would make out but no intercourse and i'm having a hard time believing it.

Hi Isha, welcome to Marriage Builders. Sorry for the reasons that have brought you here. It is very likely they had intercourse and much else. He has already admitted this was a physical affair, so I don't know why he would just stop at admitting they had intercourse. I wager he would flunk a polygraph on that question.

Is this woman married? If so, have you informed her husband and family members?

Has the affair been exposed to all your close family and friends? If not, I would let them all know. The more people who know the more people to hold your husband accountable and give you support.

Has he ended ALL contact with her? And I do mean ALL? Does she live close by? Does he work close to her?

That doesn't ring true. I would let him know you don't believe it and schedule a polygraph for him.

In addition to Mel's excellent advice have you read this?
Start Here First-Welcome Aboard

And this.
Polygraph Testing