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As a WW I know my mistakes and how I have hurt my family. I am leaving OM once I get my vehicle in my name (3 weeks). My husband is letting me come back, but doesn't want me to ruin his life again. I feel nothing but remorse for what I have done.
Does anyone have any advice how to assure my husand and correct my wrongs?
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Joined: Mar 2010
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Leave OM NOW.
You will need to end all contact with him for life.
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I am going to. I am more than willing to give up him, I was stupid.
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I am going to. I am more than willing to give up him, I was stupid. Then leave him now. Have you exposed yourself about Your Affair? How did you facilitate the affair? Have these conditions been charged? Have you been STD/I tested?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Everyone is aware of the affair, his family and mine. I moved to another state to be with the OM. We met online and I am willing to give up all passwords etc.
Many won't belive me but this wasn't sexual at all. However, I am willing to get whatever tests.
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Now. Not 3 weeks from now.
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Eme,
Many won't belive me but this wasn't sexual at all.
If this is true, do you realize how impossible it will be for your BH to believe this.
Offer to take a polygraph if your BH takes you back in, so BH does not end up with a lifetime of feeling you are still lying to him.
And please explain how you can move in with OM without it being physically sexual, even kissing is sexual.
If you continue to stay with OM there is chance that it will turn sexual btw.
God Bless
Gamma
Last edited by Gamma; 09/24/13 04:52 PM.
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Eme,
Does anyone have any advice how to assure my husand and correct my wrongs?
Complete and total honesty about everything you have done, never lie to your BH again, there are no more white lies. Don't lie about money, where you are, who you associate with anything. You have to keep yourself from establishing a secret second life ever again.
God Bless
Gamma
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Why is your car not in your name?
How old is this car and how much is it worth that you can not just leave the car behind?
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As a WW I know my mistakes and how I have hurt my family. I am leaving OM once I get my vehicle in my name (3 weeks). My husband is letting me come back, but doesn't want me to ruin his life again. I feel nothing but remorse for what I have done.
Does anyone have any advice how to assure my husand and correct my wrongs? 
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Everyone is aware of the affair, his family and mine. I moved to another state to be with the OM. We met online and I am willing to give up all passwords etc.
Many won't belive me but this wasn't sexual at all. However, I am willing to get whatever tests. Uh-huh. Whatever. You met some guy online, went to be with him and had sex. You need to get tested to make sure you are clean. Do this and get the results before you have unprotected (oral or otherwise) sex with your husband.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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As a WW I know my mistakes and how I have hurt my family. I am leaving OM once I get my vehicle in my name (3 weeks). My husband is letting me come back, but doesn't want me to ruin his life again. I feel nothing but remorse for what I have done.
Does anyone have any advice how to assure my husand and correct my wrongs? What does getting your vehicle in your name have to do with recovering your marriage? What is your story, Eme?
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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As a WW I know my mistakes and how I have hurt my family. I am leaving OM once I get my vehicle in my name (3 weeks). My husband is letting me come back, but doesn't want me to ruin his life again. I feel nothing but remorse for what I have done.
Does anyone have any advice how to assure my husand and correct my wrongs? No, no, no, no - leave OM now.
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As a WW I know my mistakes and how I have hurt my family. I am leaving OM once I get my vehicle in my name (3 weeks). My husband is letting me come back, but doesn't want me to ruin his life again. I feel nothing but remorse for what I have done.
Does anyone have any advice how to assure my husand and correct my wrongs? No, no, no, no - leave OM now. Does staying with the OM have anything to do with somehow tricking him into losing his rights to this vehicle? Have you told the OM of your intention to return to your husband? One of the first things you are going to need to do is learn to lead a transparent lifestyle. Using deceit to accomplish goals is going to have to end. Start now. If you lose a car, then accept that as part of the life lesson you are learning.
me-65
wife-61
married for 40 years
DS - 38, autistic, lives at home
DD - 37, married and on her own
DS - 32, still living with us
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And please ask your H to come here and post so we can help him.
Me: 57 Her: 54
M: 31 years
Kids(DS23, DD20, DS18)
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As a WW I know my mistakes and how I have hurt my family. I am leaving OM once I get my vehicle in my name (3 weeks). My husband is letting me come back, but doesn't want me to ruin his life again. I feel nothing but remorse for what I have done.
Does anyone have any advice how to assure my husand and correct my wrongs? This. Leave today. Be 100% transparent. Go home now.
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Joined: Jan 2010
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As a WW I know my mistakes and how I have hurt my family. I am leaving OM once I get my vehicle in my name (3 weeks). My husband is letting me come back, but doesn't want me to ruin his life again. I feel nothing but remorse for what I have done.
Does anyone have any advice how to assure my husand and correct my wrongs? Hi, Eme, The best advice I can offer is for you to become familiar with Dr. Willard Harley's program, Marriage Builders, and implement it in your marriage. You will need to implement Extraordinary Precautions to prevent yourself from ever getting into a situation where you could have an affair again. (Both you and your husband should do this.) You will need to learn to avoid behaviors that hurt each other. And you will need to learn to meet each other's most important emotional needs and dedicate adequate time to doing this each week. The result will be a romantic relationship and a recovered marriage. Take a look at this article from Dr. Harley: Can't we Just Forgive and Forget? part 1part 2part 3
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Eme, does your husband know who the man is that you had an affair with? Please view this video with your husband: Infidelity: What Every Couple Should Know
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Thank you everyone. You are right a sexual relationship is more than just sex, I should have said no to that question.
The car things. When I moved away I sold my car and bought a new one in different state. I hadn't got my new drivers license yet, so it was titled in OM name. The dealership is currently fixing it. The OM is completely aware the title is changing. The car is financed so I would end up losing about 30k. My husband agrees I shouldn't leave without it, and once I get corrected title I'm moving that day.
For those who have posted the links, thank you. I am going to read all the links, and I will suggest he join this site.
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Sometimes our spouses don't know best. Also, did you ask your BH to post here? Right now you are putting money and a car before your poor husband and that isn't right. Leave the car and deal with your marriage. As they like to say here alot your marriage can survive financial problems but it cannot survive your constant contact with [censored] aka POSOM.
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