This is some good news TD. Keep up the pace.

Got a message from MIL saying she would like to come visit DS. I don't know how to respond to this. Last time MIL came she conspired with my WW and whisked my DS and SS out of the continental USA. I had to get a court order to get him back. I'm thinking of saying no, advice is needed.

Its been almost a year.
I would set a firm boundary, such as meeting at a fast food restaurant or going to the zoo.
I wouldn't trust her as far as you can throw her

Hello MIL,

I've received your message and I have to say my first reaction is "no". Last time I saw you, you conspired with WW and whisked my DS and SS out of the continental USA. I had to go to court to get him back. Thousands of dollars later DS is here with me where he belongs while SS remains kept away from the only father he has ever known.

I'd like more information. Why should I reconsider? Why should I trust you?

And...please don't insult me by trying to barter access to SS for access to DS. Technically, SS should be at home with me too and this conversation with you should be about your access to both of them.

Please help me understand.

Here's my reply:

"I would welcome the chance for all of us to spend some time together. Accordingly, I would suggest
you, WW, SS, DS and I plan to spend a day together at my new place in Georgia when I get settled there. We could go to the zoo or museum followed by a dinner at Red Lobster.

This would be a great chance for the boys to see each other, and all of us enjoy their time together.

I look forward to your anticipated concurrence."

Her reply was thanks for remembering my birthday and God bless us.

You decided not to confront her about her part in taking your son and enabling your WW with it?

You confronted her about it before, correct?

Yes, I have multiple times. She apologized and said she thought she was doing the right thing. She also disclosed that WW made physical abuse claims and that prompted her to do what she did. Now she sees it was a lie and she's is angry with WW. I don't trust her though and she will not be alone with my son.

Trying to see the positive in this. WW is opening up more and more to me. She wants the come visit DS and I when we get to our new location. DS is excited of course and asked WW will she bring SS and will she stay. She quickly said yes and SS will be there too. I didn't read to much into it, I said it would be nice and quickly changed the subject to something more pleasant. Yesterday I called to ask for SS clothing size because I was sending him a Halloween costume.

She did not want me to get off the phone. Everytime I tried she kept wanting to talk about SS and other random things. I listen for a little a bit got the information I needed. She also thank me for the recent package I sent her and SS. It was full of pics of me and DS together, old family pics and two pictures of herself and me, a stuff animal DS and I made at build a bear, sympathy card for her recent loss and a movie for SS. I sent it to POSOM address, she said SS isn't doing good in school. He got 2 Ds on his report card and he might be ADD. I think its because of his environment because of all this mess she created.

Also, maybe I'm wrong but I get the feeling POSOM truth self is coming to light. She has never mentioned him. In the beginning it was POSOM does this and you don't, blah blah. Comparing his positives to my negatives and never the other way around. I haven't asked about their relationsh!t or our marriage for that matter. I figure I will just give her time and maybe she will open up to me. Hope this is progress because it feels foreign to me.

Tranquil, I have been checking in on you here and there. I'm happy to see how well you and DS have been doing.
I have a question, when WW said she was going to stay, did she mean for a visit or for good? Maybe, since she is opening up to you more and allowing you to make deposits, now may be a good time to give her a subtle reminder that the door is still open for her to return to her family for good if she chose to. A reminder to her as she might not believe that that is still an option. I know Kiss didn't believe that he had an option of returning to his family after everything he put us through, even though it was spelled out in the plan B letter to him.

Just my thoughts...

I'll offer that to her when we actually meet face to face. I'm sure she knows though.

TD,

I think waiting for her to come is a good idea, though I agree with RQ's idea.

You are doing a great job of making the right kind of deposits, by being the caring ear and sending her a very nice care package. I also like the pace you are taking with this. This is a big improvement over the earlier days.

The signs from her side are encouraging. It seems to me that the fantasy bubble has popped, and now you have reality on your side.

Well not much has been happening small talk here and there. Oh and get this MIL is texting me and saying things like how I am a good father and role model. God is on my side and that she is sorry for the pain WW has caused. Plan A is working very well me thinks! Stoked for halloween can't wait DS and I are going to a haunted house!

Careful with haunted houses.
Young kids can get nightmares

They usually have a daytime schedule for Haunted Houses and Trails with less grotesque impact for the young ones.

LTL

We are going full blown zombie house lol. He loves walking dead! Anyways a little contact phone chatter with WW. She was feeling stressed at her job and vented to me. Unlike in the past I just listened. It was hard fighting the urge "to fix" the problem. Learning to be a better listener. She also thanked DS for the stuff animal in the package. I used some of my cologne and slept with it so it has my aura. She sleeps with it every night so she says. Score one for TD!

Big thumbs up on the cologne bomb. She's waking up bit by bit. Keep in it TD. We're all rooting for you.

How does your response help your Plan A?
I think a better response may be: "I am willing to work with you to create a loving healthy marriage and keep our family together"

Man, your right JK. Taking that nugget and storing it.

HUGE NEWS! I have viable information that things are going to the dogs with my WW's affair. Nothing from her mouth mind you but 100% good intel. It seems she and POSOM aren't getting along at all, a whole lot of AO's from both sides. Sad part of it all she was supposedly engaged to this scumbag! I do not know where she is but she apparently bought a plane ticket out of the city where she settled with POSOM. How should I proceed? Should I ramp up my Plan A carrot or just sit back patiently until she contacts me? I really don't want to mess this up. God bless and good night!

TD,
If you are still committed to Plan A, then find out where and how she is. Keep your door open, but be on guard. Take it slow, my friend, and let us know if you hear from her.

I've told you before that your D-Day was a year after mine, and we have progressed seemingly along the same timeline with mine one year ahead of yours. Just a coincidence maybe, but your story could be still following the same trajectory. Last year at this time, my Ex wife made a decision to leave her affair partner. Next Saturday will mark one year that she and I began talking again. It was the last thing I expected to happen at the time.

Keep us posted.