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Susie I just stated I am closing the shop at the end of the month so I will no longer be employe. What is his schedule again?
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He works 6pm till 2am.
I worked from 10:30-3:30.
As he refuses to come to the shop I am giving it up because we would not see each other much if he stays at home and I go to the shop alone.
His other big EN is financial support, wonder how that's going to work now I am loosing my income.
BW 36(Me)
WS 38
Married: 2000
DD1November 22 2008 - DD2 October 2014
PA Duration September 08 - November 08
Second discovery- 6 online affairs 4 sexual one emotional. October 2014.kids: DS 17, DS 14, DS 12, DS 10 . Baby after divorce DS 18months
Divorced
Was misled into thinking we were in recovery for 6 years.
If you were shocked reading any of this, that this is the consequence of not following MB to the LETTER.
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Susie I just stated I am closing the shop at the end of the month so I will no longer be employe. Why are you closing it? Did you POJA this?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Brain Hurts,
I am closing it for many reasons,
1) this was supposed to be a family business, I can't run it on my own
2) H is no longer enthusiastic about it.
3) H is not happy with the opposite sex presence in the local community that the shop is part of or the fact that I get male customers.
4) the business needs much more work to get profitable and I can't do it alone nor can I dedicate anymore time to it while my family life is not stable.
5) I am done with struggling to do too much, shop , house, kids, finances etc, I am done with the huge responsibility being at my feet. I feel totally unsupported and alone and exhausted.
6) I have an interview for another job in 10 days. H is enthusiastic about this job.
I don't know what else to add I am in a very strange place emotionally right now.
BW 36(Me)
WS 38
Married: 2000
DD1November 22 2008 - DD2 October 2014
PA Duration September 08 - November 08
Second discovery- 6 online affairs 4 sexual one emotional. October 2014.kids: DS 17, DS 14, DS 12, DS 10 . Baby after divorce DS 18months
Divorced
Was misled into thinking we were in recovery for 6 years.
If you were shocked reading any of this, that this is the consequence of not following MB to the LETTER.
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,155
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Sold all the stock and closed the shop today. Feeling sad and resentful.
BW 36(Me)
WS 38
Married: 2000
DD1November 22 2008 - DD2 October 2014
PA Duration September 08 - November 08
Second discovery- 6 online affairs 4 sexual one emotional. October 2014.kids: DS 17, DS 14, DS 12, DS 10 . Baby after divorce DS 18months
Divorced
Was misled into thinking we were in recovery for 6 years.
If you were shocked reading any of this, that this is the consequence of not following MB to the LETTER.
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I'm so sorry, NB28. What's done is done but I wish you and he could have come to a decision that YOU were enthusiastic about.
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Thanks,
I am sad to close that chapter, I worked hard for 2 years to set up this business and I will dearly miss my customers and fellow shopkeepers but I also understand why it had to happen and this is a consequence of me not talking to H fully when I set up the business about how much I expected from him regarding help. I saw it as OUR business from the get go while he viewed it as MY business had I known this is how he would be I wouldn't have taken it on from the start.
BW 36(Me)
WS 38
Married: 2000
DD1November 22 2008 - DD2 October 2014
PA Duration September 08 - November 08
Second discovery- 6 online affairs 4 sexual one emotional. October 2014.kids: DS 17, DS 14, DS 12, DS 10 . Baby after divorce DS 18months
Divorced
Was misled into thinking we were in recovery for 6 years.
If you were shocked reading any of this, that this is the consequence of not following MB to the LETTER.
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,479 Likes: 6
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Thanks,
I am sad to close that chapter, I worked hard for 2 years to set up this business and I will dearly miss my customers and fellow shopkeepers but I also understand why it had to happen and this is a consequence of me not talking to H fully when I set up the business about how much I expected from him regarding help. I saw it as OUR business from the get go while he viewed it as MY business had I known this is how he would be I wouldn't have taken it on from the start. This is why POJA is so very important. If you both aren't enthusiastic about it, then resentment sets in.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,123 Likes: 1
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Thanks,
I am sad to close that chapter, I worked hard for 2 years to set up this business and I will dearly miss my customers and fellow shopkeepers but I also understand why it had to happen and this is a consequence of me not talking to H fully when I set up the business about how much I expected from him regarding help. I saw it as OUR business from the get go while he viewed it as MY business had I known this is how he would be I wouldn't have taken it on from the start. So, in essence; every dollar that shop brought in was a Love Unit subtracted. Choices, choices... Own business vs Marriage (at all, cross out happy)
"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr
"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer
"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,123 Likes: 1
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He works 6pm till 2am.
I worked from 10:30-3:30.
As he refuses to come to the shop I am giving it up because we would not see each other much if he stays at home and I go to the shop alone.
His other big EN is financial support, wonder how that's going to work now I am loosing my income. Good riddance. This business looks like it was a Love-Busting mill. "He won't succumb to my demand that he comes to the shop, unenthusastically... he should just be enthusiastic!"  Anyway - he does have something to do; get rid of that abysmal schedule of his. It's as marriage-wrecking as the shop. Still lots of work to do here...
"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr
"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer
"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,155
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Funny enough every $$$ the shop brought was a love unit deposit for H, his EN for financial support is high. He is the frugal type and liked the extra income the shop brought just didn't want to support me in getting the $$$.
I never DEMANDED anything. To start off with H loved the shop, loved the customers and liked running the shop on his own (especially as he got to play his game when he ran it alone).
This situation is more messed up and has more depth to it that you think but I'm done with it, I did my part, when H expressed he was NOlonger enthusiastic I folded the business simple as that. I am sad about all the hard work that just got essentially chucked in the trash but trying to get over it.
I came here to express my sadness about it and it's a little bit cruel to mock me at this stage HHH but I will get over that as well.
BW 36(Me)
WS 38
Married: 2000
DD1November 22 2008 - DD2 October 2014
PA Duration September 08 - November 08
Second discovery- 6 online affairs 4 sexual one emotional. October 2014.kids: DS 17, DS 14, DS 12, DS 10 . Baby after divorce DS 18months
Divorced
Was misled into thinking we were in recovery for 6 years.
If you were shocked reading any of this, that this is the consequence of not following MB to the LETTER.
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Posts: 571
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Mockery is good for the soul, it seems.
I understand what you are saying NB28. It was a good step to take, and you are sad about it. Not everything that is worthwhile feels good at the time.
Feelings just are - that is a prime directive of this site. You will, hopefully, be able to take positive steps to replace those feelings with other ones. If not, you will have other choices to make.
In the meantime, it sucks.
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Joined: Nov 2013
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I see you post every so often and help other people here and I think about you. How are you doing?
W (me) - 40
H - 44
M 15 years, 2 kids
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