I look in pockets, read the pager, snoop everything he owns. Make a sweep of his car, and eavesdrop on phone conversations! I really hate myself for this. Is anyone else going through the same thing? If so what crazy things are you doing

I would venture to say that most people are doing what you are doing and more. They are tapping phones, sending spies out and everything you can imagine.<P>There are two books that can help you see that your behavior is not abnormal. they are"After the Affair" and "Surviving Infidelity". Both are great sources of information so that you will get a better understanding of yourself and can deal with the obsession better.<P>Good luck

Latrice:<P>AHHH, a subject near and dear to my heart! I think I wrote the book on obsessive! I check his clothes, and I mean thoroughly check them for any visible lipstick or makeup stains, wallets, pockets, cell phone, etc. I'll call his office alot during the day, various times just to see if & when he's there. The best (and worst) thing I did was with his pager. I went and bought one exactly identical to his and while he was in the shower, I switched them. I would get all the pages for the day - those that looked like only 4 digit extensions from work I would just page the new pager number with those digits - the numbers that were actual telephone numbers I wrote down and called. That's how I found the OW's home and cell numbers. He has never caught on that I did this. He actually had this as one of his pages - "69-69-69" Gee, I wonder who that was from....

The pager one was very very very clever! But, don't you just get tired of checking? I get so tired of not trusting. Its emotionally draining also. But, I can't help doing it. I'ts hard to trust him.

I know - I don't believe ANYTHING he says at all. I mean nothing! Oh what a tangled web they've weaved....

Yet another subject "dear" to my heart. At my height, I spent 10 hours a day for 4 months straight snooping on the Internet, trying to catch him. I never did and just drove myself to exhaustion and depression.<P>Not good, but you can't stop til you're ready