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Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 18
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Junior Member
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 18 |
Regarding us "newbies" that do not have it all figured out yet. I am curious...do you veterans ever find yourself:
Pulling your hair?
Yelling at the screen?
Banging on the keyboard?
How often do you...
Laugh, cry, pray for/at us?
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7 |
lol, I had no idea polls could even be done on this forum. When I find myself getting frustrated, I usually just take a break and let everybody else handle it.  If I care more for someone's marriage than they do - then they need more help than I can possibly give. Pepperband once privately threatened to pluck out all my body hair with a rusty tweezer if I didn't straighten out and treat my wife right. I guess she was pretty frustrated with me. I pray for posters on this board, and for their children, often.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
When I find myself getting frustrated, I usually just take a break and let everybody else handle it. If I care more for someone's marriage than they do - then they need more help than I can possibly give. I pray for posters on this board, and for their children, often. Bingo! I post what I think they should do [according to MB] and they can take it or leave it. If they don't want to do, fine by me! I will move onto the next thread! 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 7,362 Likes: 3
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 7,362 Likes: 3 |
Given that I was probably a very frustrating poster to post to, I try to be very patient with newbies. It takes a lot to get my feathers ruffled.
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7 |
Given that I was probably a very frustrating poster to post to, I try to be very patient with newbies. It takes a lot to get my feathers ruffled. Probably not nearly so frustrating to post to as your husband. That markos guy was a piece of work.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 7,362 Likes: 3
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 7,362 Likes: 3 |
I pray for posters on this board, and for their children, often. As do I.
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Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,123 Likes: 1
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Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,123 Likes: 1 |
Given that I was probably a very frustrating poster to post to, I try to be very patient with newbies. It takes a lot to get my feathers ruffled. Probably not nearly so frustrating to post to as your husband. That markos guy was a piece of work. That Markos guy didn't have him self open to be posted to very much... and when he did... just seemed to wave off what was posted. He also had something of a facade going for a while, until his wife had quite enough and put a boot to his cheeks. Smart dude, but his ears/eyes were kinda defective there... which was sad, as dude usually impresses me.
"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr
"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer
"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 4,983
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 4,983 |
I pray for posters on this board, and for their children, often. As do I. I do as well. I am thankful that many of the vets stuck with me even during my ginormous BS fog. I think a few developed new cuss words or had their BP meds increased during my worst times.
"Get busy living, or get busy dying"...... The Shawshank Redemption.
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7 |
Given that I was probably a very frustrating poster to post to, I try to be very patient with newbies. It takes a lot to get my feathers ruffled. Probably not nearly so frustrating to post to as your husband. That markos guy was a piece of work. That Markos guy didn't have him self open to be posted to very much... and when he did... just seemed to wave off what was posted. He also had something of a facade going for a while, until his wife had quite enough and put a boot to his cheeks. Smart dude, but his ears/eyes were kinda defective there... which was sad, as dude usually impresses me. He was not a very good listener. Fortunately, as you say, his wife did finally decide to set the bar very high.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,479 Likes: 6
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,479 Likes: 6 |
I usually post a link or radio clip because it's so easy to read or hear it from Dr. H. I couldn't say it as well as Dr. H.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 863
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 863 |
Well, you guys do a great job.
I bet there are many OPs who do not respond to your advice in the days it is being given, but it sits with them anyway and they eventually realize they need to follow it.
Your advice to me seemed pretty radical (to me). It was not something I had imagined to do before you all told me to, and I could not reconcile myself with your advice during the short duration of thread exchanges. However, I thought about it a lot, realized 5 months later it was the only solution and put it into motion.
I'll post an update on my H's thread (Steubenville) soon.
PS: Thank you very much for your prayers.
1 Peter 3:12 "For the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and his ears are open unto their prayers...".
Last edited by Sunnytimes; 10/15/13 09:05 AM.
Are you living in a covenant with death? With bitterness in your marriage? Read Isaiah 28. The bed will not be long enough or the covers wide enough for you to ever find comfort in that life. In Isaiah 28, God tells you to take a stick and beat these conditions out of your life.
Isaiah 28:29 "This [command] also cometh forth from the Lord of hosts, which is wonderful in counsel, and excellent in working."
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 6,108
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 6,108 |
No hair pulling, banging keyboards, or yelling at the screen. I will leave a thread when I see my words are falling on deaf ears. It's not worth doing  to myself. I laugh and cry with others. I do pray for the newbies and their kiddos...all MBers really.
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650 |
I pray for posters on this board, and for their children, often. As do I. I do as well. I am thankful that many of the vets stuck with me even during my ginormous BS fog. I think a few developed new cuss words or had their BP meds increased during my worst times. You were a funny one LR because you actually had me convinced you were never going to listen. I thought you were going to die in your marriage. I went a bit mental at you for awhile there. Sorry about that! And look at you now. You help so many people.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 4,983
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 4,983 |
You were a funny one LR because you actually had me convinced you were never going to listen. I thought you were going to die in your marriage. I went a bit mental at you for awhile there. Sorry about that!
And look at you now. You help so many people. I would have indie if I never listened. I needed people to go "mental" on me. I was so far in the BS fog, that everyone kept working on me until it finally started to clear. For that, I am greatful. Thank you.
"Get busy living, or get busy dying"...... The Shawshank Redemption.
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 3,686
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 3,686 |
I've been super frustrated lately with more than one "newbie"... Reluctantance to exposure, insisting on doing it THEIR way... Seriously, we must all be masochists, with how frustrating some of these people can be. 
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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