Hello,

I am 25 and have been married for five years but have been with my wife for 7. We were high school sweethearts. Early in our dating years we had a fight and she cheated on me. I let that on slide blaming myself because I had gotten pretty mad (she was popping pills). Fast forward 7 years. I just found out about a week ago that she also cheated on my two other times. One of the times she can't say if we were married or not. The other time we were married and I was deployed to Afghanistan for a year. That affair lasted 3 months and was with a black man. I am not racist and the only reason his race matters to me if because of obvious male anatomy differences.
We have three children together and I really don't want them to go through a divorce like I did when I was younger. I love my wife more than anything but I honestly don't believe she loves me. I have changed everything about myself to try and make her happy and it was never enough for her. She has said she was sorry and it would never happen again and to her credit it has been three years since her last affair.
Is out marriage going to work? I find myself hating her at some points for how she made me feel. Sometimes it seems like she is willing to try to fix things but every so often she trys to act like everything should be the same as it was.
Any advice is welcome. I don't want to live the rest of my life unhappy or afraid she will cheat again.

Hi Logan

I am only new here so can't give much advice and being former WW I probably have no right to give advice.

But just wondering how do you know it has been three years since her last affair? Is this because she told you? Do you have access to her phone and emails?

Hi! I am also new here and suspect my H of affairs, but I also had an affair so I may not be much help. ARe you saying she cheated before you were married? And I too would like to know how you know she hasn't had some type of an affair with anyone else.

As in most things I cannot be 100% certain. However, When I came back from Afghanistan we have spent virtually every second together. She is a liar that much is certain but there has been no sign of her having another affair or attempting one. To answer your question, yes I have read her phone logs, text messages, and emails. It is possible she could have though because I found all this out when she put herself in a position with another man and he tried to kiss her and she said no but didnt tell me about it. Her best friend did.

She may have another email account. Can you put keylogger on the computer?

Yes she cheated on me when I was 18. Once I left for the Army she cheated on me two more times that I know about. Most of my information came from her old friends and was verified by her. There was other info I was given that my wife denies and I have no way of proving or disproving it besides her word.

Let me say this from experience thus far. H dated another woman before we were married. I was stupid and naive and he was seeing me and the other woman at the same time. I don't think I have ever gotten over the lies and deceit. Fast Forward to my current situation and I am starting to realize that I once again being lied too and deceived. It could be possible that your wife was/is having an emotional affair and for her not to tell you about another man trying to kiss her is not good and a red flag.

I am pretty good with computers and I have access to every e-mail on this computer. I also have all of her passwords to facebook etc

Yes, but she could be using messenger or something. If you put a keylogger on then you will have all keystrokes.

What about her phone? Do you have spyware on her phone?