I've been totally nc for 2 months now after exposing to everyone
(see thread here http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2750465&page=9

I took my SIL out for a birthday meal last night. She told me she had met OW after being invited to my husbands apartment.
To quote my SIL "I went with every intention of hating her because I love you but she's really nice"
Obviously That was not what I wanted to hear.
I have no idea how happy he is because of NC but I know they are still together.
His relationship with his elder son (My stepson) seems to be going down hill rapidly, causing stress and depression for him. He's 14. I love him dearly. I have seen so much more of him than his own dad has since hubby left me for ow. (I was always the glue of the family so to speak)
Hubby sees our two little ones once a week but in the past month he has backed out of two of these days so effectively she has only seen them for two days in the last month. They are only tiny and don't understand (Daddys house has all the computers/playstation etc etc) They love him and miss him terribly but I think as they get older they will resent him if he keeps up the way he is.
The next time I see him will be at mediation to separate our assets. I had to initiate this as I am terrified ow will get her claws in and try to take my house from under me. I desperately don't want to divorce but at the same time I have to protect myself and the children financially. He earns twice what I do and ow earns more than him.
I guess my question is - Do I give up any hope?
I can't see mediation as being anything but a major love buster on my part - I want the house, car and maintenance for the kids.

Jostar unfortunately no one can predict if you will recover your marriage, there is no guarantee. Most A die within 2 yrs of being discovered/exposed. There is always a chance, some couples reconcile after D. It is your decision whether you wait or whether you decide D is best for you.

You need to protect yourself and your children. You can't not act out of fear. Sadly whilst WH is in the A he will not have yours nor your children interests at heart. Playing "nice" will not change this. It is wise to protect your family's financial security.

I wouldn't describe mediation as a love buster.
I went through it.
The key is to not become emotionally in invested in the mediation