Been 13 months since my D-day. Most days are still pretty difficult. Wife has done everything possible to make life easier for me. Her life is an open book to me and we work each day to improve. My wife was truthful about the events of the relationship as she had no choice, found the facebook messages. The OM came clean to me in our few conversations. Mostly me venting on him. He told his wife I was a crazy jealous husband who made up this whole A. I did contact his wife who believes I overstated their relationship and believes her husband. The relationship was a 5 month emotional and sexual A. The OM's wife basically thinks I'm crazy. I did acquire a copy of the hotel receipt showing the dates and times of the hotel meetings. My question. Should I mail this women a copy of the receipt? I also want him to suffer some of the same hell we have suffered over the past year. Please give me some perspective on if I should mail this receipt? And why is this women keeping her head in the dirt. Thank you.

Have you exposed this affair to family and friends?
Has your wife agreed to never see or speak to this man again?

She cut off all contact pretty much right away. She said the moment I found out it snapped her back to reality. From that moment she has done almost everything I have asked. I am an exetremly private person, almost painfully shy. For me the embarrassment would have been salt in the wounds. We told my brother and our parents. My wife has been very proactive in trying to save us. Lots of emotional support, lots of love making, she's make all the nessacary changes. I have GPS tracking and full access to all her accounts. The OM will do all he can to keep this squashed. His wife is a stay at home mom. He owns a very successful restuarant. He would lose alot of money if they divorce. I told his wife about the A, but never supplied in depth details such as the hotel bill. Plus, that women has been hostile to me. Maybe she knows inside but is in denial.

When the OM is at work have your WW call the OMW in front of you and tell her about the affair. That it was true what you have told her. Then have WW offer to show her the hotel bills, phone bills, emails, texts, if she requires hard proof.

This affair needs to be exposed fully. Tell WW parents and siblings. Find OM's parents and expose them. If OM has a FB page copy and past his contact list. Then expose all of those people on that list. Though you will have to expose one at a time on FB because FB will block you if you do not allow 1 minute to pass between each message.

How did your WW meet the OM?

Before we went to college she worked at his restuarant. We have two kids 3 and 6.

So when did this affair start and end?

April 2012 to September 2012.

How about a time line from when see first met/worked for the OM, stopped working, met you, married you, had the affair.

Any kids?

Your and WW ages?

What have you done to expose the affair?

I'm really trying to figure out if I should mail his wife the hotel receipt as proof of the affair. As other mans wife is in denial of the affair. Any advice on that would be helpful.

I would give the OM's BW all the evidence you can. Have you talked to her?

Yes!!! Give his BW the proof and also do the following suggestion.

Will your W cooperate?

That will be significant proof that she will reveal the truth to the OM's BW.

I did speak with her. She is a bit hostile towards me. She is in full denial. She does not believe anything I have told her.

All the more reason to have WW expose this and provide copies of the proof to the OMW.

Will your Wife write or talk to the OMBW?

No she will not speak to the other wife. She is very embarrassed by her actions. My wife has paid a tremedous price for her actions over the past 13 months. We have gone through a living hell but have survived. My wife has fought very hard to keep me. I want the OM to experience the same type of hell. At this point there has been zero consequence to his actions.

There is something important to consider: Dr Harleys policy on exposure is to end the affair, provide support for the betrayed spouse and provide support for extraordinary precautions.
If your wife has had no contact with the affair partner for 13 months then it would be against Dr Harleys policies to bring up the affair again.
His policy is that everything is brought into the open and then it is never discussed again.
He wants you focused on depositing into the Love Bank and avoiding withdrawls.
You should have no contact with the affair partners wife and be focusing on spending 20 hours a week of undivided attention with your wife.

Are you two spending these 20 hrs a week together?

Have you and your wife read the book Surviving an Affair by Dr Willard Harley?

Jedi- Thank you. I feel the right thing is to move on. It is me holding us back. Struggling with the, " did she really tell me the whole truth". She definitely told me things she could have taken to her grave. That builds a lot of credibility for her with me. Honestly my main reason for sending the hotel bills is to disrupt his life. He has cheated before. He was so careful in covering his tracks. These bills are my only proof. He paid for the hotel on his credit card. My resentment for the OM is so deep. Just trying to find some way to let it go. Then i think I could move forward. My wife so badly wants to move past this. I Wish I could give that to her.

At this point, you should concentrate on your wife and your marriage and forget about the OM.

I had much the same feeling about the OM in my wife's affair. Your resentment toward the guy is going to prove to be a bottomless pit. You will never get even. Look at it this way: the guy does not even deserve to be in your thoughts. He has taken far too much from you already. By continuing to dwell on him, you are giving him even more. It is time to stop. You exposed to his wife, and it is not up to you to convince her. Their marriage is their problem. It is time for you to concentrate on your own marriage. Let the Lord deal with the OM.