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It has worked in every case where Dr. Harley has been able to convince both husband and wife to try it. Dr. Harley has never seen an exception to this - and he's been doing this for decades.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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I guess the problem is not getting in our UA time. We had a counselling session with Dr. Jennifer last night where she helped us plan out our dates for this week.
Tues 630-930: bowling and dinner
Thurs 630-930: movies and dinner (she said it was ok as long as
we were affectionate during the movie)
Sat 6-10: Amusement park
Sun 1-3: shop for TV, try a new grocery store and buy a dessert
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FC, when the dates are happening regularly and it is enjoyable enough to you to get you past the romantic love threshold, your feelings will change, and your thinking will change. You will no longer wonder whether or not it's possible to create romantic love - you'll be living it!
How do you feel about the schedule that's been set up for this week?
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Thurs 630-930: movies and dinner (she said it was ok as long as
we were affectionate during the movie) I always like Dr. Harley's exact wording on this: "going to a movie doesn't count - unless you behave like the couple that I sat behind at the movies last week!" We always try to behave like "that couple." 
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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It's fine I guess. I just don't want to do it with him
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If you were spending the time with someone else, is there anything you would be doing different?
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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It's fine I guess. I just don't want to do it with him Why not? And try to make it more than one sentence. Are there still lovebusters? Is he not meeting your intimate EN's?
Last edited by Rocketqueen; 10/21/13 09:59 AM.
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Depends on who it is. Are you talking about another man? a girlfriend?
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I'm still feeling trapped because I want to get a job but he says he feels safer with me at home.
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I'm still feeling trapped because I want to get a job but he says he feels safer with me at home. To me that would be something to resolve after you have recovered your marriage. But you might write Dr. Harley on this.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Depends on who it is. Are you talking about another man? a girlfriend? Either one - if it were someone else and it were a good time that you were looking forward to, what would be in it?
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Also - is FtF affectionate toward you in any way (not necessarily physically affectionate) at times besides UA time? Do the two of you engage in conversation during the day?
Prisca and I are conversation partners literally all day long on IM. It plays a huge role in how she feels about our relationship. She can get to me almost any time, and I think that is incredibly important.
I am her best friend.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Fc, are you able to have a good conversation with FTF? Does he usually participate and keep the IC going?
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If it's a girlfriend, I like to go shopping, going out to eat, doing hair and nails, all the girlie stuff. If it's a man, I enjoy going out to eat, learning to do new things, movies, romantic stuff
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Fc, are you able to have a good conversation with FTF? Does he usually participate and keep the IC going? We do have good conversations. He is funny and smart and we generally have the same taste in movies, shows, etc.
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[s][/s] I guess the problem is not getting in our UA time. We had a counselling session with Dr. Jennifer last night where she helped us plan out our dates for this week.
Tues 630-930: bowling and dinner
Thurs 630-930: movies and dinner (she said it was ok as long as
we were affectionate during the movie)
Sat 6-10: Amusement park
Sun 1-3: shop for TV, try a new grocery store and buy a dessert This is only 12 hours ... trying to recover takes at least 25. Can you tack on 2 hours every night of alone time after kids are in bed? Talk intimately while playing cards or a board game...have him/you rub backs. Seriously if you don't up your time to get over the lull you are in then this marriage will likely just keep limping along.
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Wednesday and Friday ... can you both find some alone time?
I'm going country dancing with my Besties this weekend ... that is a damn good time.
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Wednesday and Friday ... can you both find some alone time?
I'm going country dancing with my Besties this weekend ... that is a damn good time. That sounds like fun! Wish I could do that 
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Then have FTF and you sign up for lessons ... you'll both have a blast. This will allow you time and get you some fun out of the house activity that isnt too expensive.
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Wednesday and Friday ... can you both find some alone time?
I'm going country dancing with my Besties this weekend ... that is a damn good time. That sounds like fun! Wish I could do that Why can't you do that? It sounds like it would be a fun activity for you and FTF.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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