I've read Exposure 101 and I was wondering if the methods described are the same when the WS is having an emotional affair?

WH confessed his feelings for OW but after a few months took it back and said he was no longer in love with her. He stopped contact for a while but has started up again. Based on texts I've seen he's confessed his feelings for her, but she said he "wasn't in her plan" (she's going through a separation/divorce right now). He keeps asking her to think about what he said and she keeps delaying him.

At this point I don't believe the relationship has gotten physical. And I think he would separate from me before it gets to that point. Would I get anything out of exposing the relationship at this point? At this point its only a confession of feelings from him and flirting from her, so I want to be careful that I don't throw them together or come off as the vindictive b***ch by not allowing him opposite sex friends.

I just don't know what to do.

I'm sorry for the reasons that brought you here.

Emotional affairs are every bit as devastating to your marriage as a physical affair. And if it's emotional now, it will most certainly become physical. He won't necessarily separate from you to accomplish this either. Many many spouses lie and deceive so they can have BOTH.

Do you have solid evidence of your husband's affair? Make sure it's enough to convince a jury and keep it in a safe place, then YES, expose it!

Expose it to your friends and family and as many of her friends and her family as you can locate. Ask for their help in ending the affair.

If you have children, they need to know as well.

Did you read the thread at the top of this forum?

Welcome!

You want to stop the affair dead in its tracks BEFORE it's gets physical. The best way to kill an affair is by exposing it. Follow the exposure plan as outlined in the "Start here" thread.

Where did you get the idea that this is an emotional affair and hasn't gotten physical? Who told you this? Your wayward spouse?

I suspect your WH has backed off on his declared love for his OW because they have gone undergroud with the affair. You have already confirmed that he is back in contact with OW.

To whom have you exposed the affair?

Heed this. I had the chance to right my WW BEFORE it became physical, but I did not. Your H may have already crossed that boundary, but if not, you are in a good position to fix an otherwise desperate situation. Exposure may be your BEST BET.

An EA is an A. That is certain. Treat it as an A. The number one reason to do so is that unless you catch it early enough, there is no such thing as an (only) EA. They ALWAYS turn physical. It's in the formula.

EAs are in many ways MORE damaging than PAs.(And I'm not convinced its only an EA)

The aim of exposure is a) to make it appear in its true, non romantic, shameful form. This is especially important here because they are talking it up into a romance. Its not just a hook up.
And B) to make it clear you won't help him lie to people about such an egregious act.

If he had known (as he should) that any EAs were to be exposed by his honourable and truthful wife, , he'd have been pretty sure to avoid starting them.

Not to mention the skank is still married. Sure she's getting a divorce, she hasn't got boundaries. Wonder why.

ONLY a confession of feelings from him.

Only.

A strange way to put it. I felt that my husband sending a message to another woman to tell her he was falling for her was the WORST betrayal possible for a man to do unto his wife.

Back when I thought affairs happened to 'other people', on some level, I anticipated the possiblity of a drunken one night stand.

I had NEVER thought it was possible for my husband to soberly and purposefully romance another. Giving her words that belonged only to me. Words that led to the bedroom.

Did you really think 'only' when you saw these messages? When he professed his feelings for this intruder?

Or is that what you fear other people will think?